Life is full of choices. What we don’t always understand is that happiness is a choice, too. It seems strange that being happy would be a choice, but that is one of the things I learned when I was caught up in grief.

As chance would have it, I went down to Florida to visit some good friends about eight months after my husband’s sudden death. He and I had planned to do that, so I got up my courage and went by myself. It was in the early part of the year, and while I was there, they decided to have a Super Bowl party. It was also my host’s birthday, so there were a lot of people and there was a lot of laughter.

Even though everyone else was having a good time, I had trouble joining in. In fact, I wondered how they could be having so much fun when I was hurting so much. How could they not feel my pain?

It was then I realized that what I was experiencing wasn’t “out there.” It was inside myself, and the only way that was going to change was if I changed.

But to be “happy,” to laugh, to really laugh, felt dishonest. When I tried to laugh, it felt like I was denying the importance of my husband’s passing.

I knew he didn’t want me to spend the rest of my life crying. What to do? I was stuck, and I knew it.

I thought about that a lot over the next few days. Finally I decided to just give myself permission to be happy. It wasn’t the same happy as I had known before, and it certainly wasn’t the happy I know now, but it was a start. It was a place to begin.

I think that is how it is for many of us. We have to give ourselves permission to not work so hard, to be kind to ourselves, even to nurture ourselves, and yes, to follow the deep calling in our heart that can lead us to the happiness we are seeking. Once we make that choice, our deep healing begins.

Donna Miesbach

I have been on a spiritual path all my life. I was first introduced to meditation when I was seventeen. I knew this was an important tool, but I wanted to go deeper than that particular method allowed, so my search began. I attended workshops and classes, read books and tried every form of meditation I could find, to no avail. Then in 1994, my life changed dramatically. My husband died very suddenly. Soon after that, I lost both parents, too. They say when the student is ready, the teacher appears. This student was certainly ready. About a year after my husband’s sudden death, I learned about Dr. Deepak Chopra and his teachings. It was like finding the light at the end of the tunnel. I took meditation training from Dr. Chopra and began attending his courses. They fed my deep roots and made such a difference in my life that I committed to being certified both in meditation and yoga so I could share these wonderful practices with others. I have studied with Deepak and also Roger Gabriel both here and in India. I also studied sound healing with Jonathan Goldman, and remote viewing with Dr. David Morehouse, having completed all five levels of his training. As my teaching became established, doors began opening that allowed me to teach meditation to at risk youth. Then another door opened and I found myself working with Playmakers Mentoring Foundation, a Sacramento-based outreach. Together with their Executive Director, we wrote a book and then opened a chapter here in Omaha. In addition to my work with Playmakers, I continue to teach meditation in the Omaha NE area, offering both private and group instruction. I also hold group meditations and programs five times a year, and speak to groups on various aspects of spirituality upon request.   It has been an amazing journey, one I never could have anticipated. I didn’t know it then, but I know now that it is possible to get to the other side of grief, and that is what my book, “From Grief to Joy, A Journey Back to Life & Living,” is all about.

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