This is an excerpt from Your Life After Their Death: A Medium’s Guide to Healing After a Loss available on Amazon at:


My clients often express their regrets about the relationships they had with their deceased loved ones. Some just wish they would have told their loved ones how much they cared, but now it is too late; others feel they should have told their them how grateful they were for having them in their lives; some are sorry and feel remorse for their actions; yet others are very angry and are finding it difficult to forgive the things their loved ones did to them. The healing technique I’m going to be talking about in this chapter will help you to get rid of these types of regrets and so much more. It’s called Ho’oponpono, and all it requires is for you to repeat four sentences over and over again throughout the day. These statements are: “I’m sorry,” “please forgive me,” “I love you,” and “thank you.”

What is Ho’oponopono?

Ho’oponono is an ancient Hawaiian healing technique that encourages you to take full responsibility for everything that comes into your life.  When you do this, not only are you healed on so many levels, but you also heal everything and everyone around you.

The main teacher of Ho’oponopono today is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. He first used Ho’oponopono when he was working at Hawaii State Hospital for the criminally insane.  Because of the violence at this hospital, no one before Dr. Len who was employed there was able to stay longer than a month, and those who walked through that ward did so with their backs against the wall because they were afraid of being attacked by the patients!

When Dr. Len came into the picture, he never actually saw any of the patients. Instead, he simply reviewed their files and worked on himself using Ho’oponopono. As he looked at each file, he said, “Thank you for coming into my life and showing me what I need to heal in mine.” Then he said the four mantras over and over until he felt guided to stop.

Soon afterwards, the patients began to heal; those that had to be shackled were allowed to walk freely; those who no one thought would ever be released were being freed. Today, that ward is closed because it is no longer needed. When Dr. Len was asked what he did that caused this great healing, he stated, “I was simply healing the part of me that created them.” (For more detailed information on Dr. Len and Ho’oponopono, I highly recommend the book, Zero Limits by Joe Vitale.)

You will also be able to achieve amazing results by practicing this simple technique. Ho’oponopono can help if you have any regrets in your relationships with your deceased loved ones or even if you just want to send them your love and gratitude.

The State of Zero

Ho’oponopono is getting to the “state of zero,” where you have zero limits; it is where you are able to take responsibility for, and are able to clear anything you perceive as a problem; it is a place of stillness and peace where you allow God who is within you to do all the work.

So, how can you get to this “state of zero?” Again, all you need to do is repeat the following four statements over and over again throughout the day. By repeating these statements, as Dr. Hew Lin says, “You’ll be able to release subconscious garbage – programs that run your life without your participation.”

The Four Phrases

The statements are: “I’m sorry,” “Please forgive me,” “I love you,” and “Thank you.”  When you think of your deceased loved one and a thought of regret comes up about him or her, simply repeat these phrases out loud or to yourself. It doesn’t matter how many times; just say them over and over until you feel better.             When you are saying, “I’m sorry,” “Please forgive me,” you are speaking to your loved one, to yourself, and to God for whatever it is in you that allowed whatever it was that happened. Remember, it’s all about being 100% responsible for everything.

The last two statements help to raise your energy. By saying “I love you,” you will begin to feel better very quickly because these words have the highest vibration possible. As you end with the words “Thank you,” you are acknowledging that your mantras have been heard and everything about the situation is being cleansed.

Even if you don’t have any regrets with your loved ones, you can still repeat, “I love you” and “Thank you” over and over again. Just a few repetitions of these statements extend love and gratitude, and heal you and your deceased loved one as well.


I personally have had many profound healing experiences with Ho’oponopono, especially right after my mother passed away. I was thinking back over the years, and had regrets that I should have called and visited her more often, but now it was too late. Thankfully I didn’t have any other regrets, but the fact that I should have been there for her more was really bothering me.

Shortly after her death, while on a long flight on an airplane, I closed my eyes and inwardly began repeating the Ho’oponopono mantras.  After doing this for over an hour, I knew it was okay to stop and felt a tremendous relief! The guilt I was carrying around with me was finally lifted. As soon as I experienced this peace, I heard my mother say, “I love you sweetheart! You did nothing wrong.” I just started to cry and knew all was well again.

After You Clear the Energy, Make Sure to Let it Go

Even though I sensed that everything was cleared, I kept repeating the four statements throughout the next few days. It still felt great saying “I love you” and “Thank you,” but I didn’t feel right as I repeated, “I’m sorry,” “Please forgive me.” Even so, I still continued to say these statements over and over.

During that next week I did something to a friend that was intended to help her, but it somehow hurt her instead. It took me by surprise, and I felt so badly about it. I kept saying, “I’m sorry” to her over and over again. My good intentions backfired; I never wanted to hurt her, but I did nonetheless.

As I was sitting thinking about it the next day, I realized that by continuing to say, “I’m sorry,” “Please forgive me” over and over after I healed the situation I wanted to resolve, I was attracting things in my life that caused me to seek forgiveness! That’s when I recognized that it is very important to stop saying, “I’m sorry,” “Please forgive me” after finishing the clearing.

However, it is very beneficial to continue saying, “Thank you” and “I love you” for as long as you want. By repeating these statements, you will bring more love and gratitude into your life. As a matter of fact, as I continued repeating, “I love you,” “Thank you,” I began receiving so many texts, emails, Facebook comments, phone messages, and people telling me over and over again, “Karen, thank you! I love you!” All of this was just confirmation of what I already knew – what was showing up in my life was a vibrational match to my dominant thoughts and feelings of love and appreciation.

Summing it Up                                                              

According to the Law of Attraction, everything and everyone who comes into your life is there because you have attracted it – either intentionally or by default.  Ho’oponopono takes this principle of being 100% responsible for all that is in your path to an even higher level; it seeks to correct anything that is not in harmony with the God within you. It’s about repentance, forgiveness, loving unconditionally, and being grateful.

When you practice Ho’oponopono and take full responsibility for your actions, not only are you clearing yourself, but you are also healing your deceased loved ones and everyone else. The words to my favorite song describe Ho’oponopono’s premise perfectly, “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.”

Karen Noe

Karen Noe is a renowned New Jersey-based psychic medium, spiritual counselor, and healer with a two-year waiting list. She is the author of "The Rainbow Follows the Storm: How to Obtain Inner Peace by Connecting with Angels and Deceased Loved Ones," "Through the Eyes of Another: A Medium's Guide to Creating Heaven on Earth by Encountering Your Life Review Now," and "Your Life After Their Death: A Medium's Guide to Healing After a Loss." She is the founder of the Angel Quest Center in Ramsey NJ, where she teaches classes, gives readings, and practices alternative healing. You can listen to Karen on The Angel Quest Radio Show by tuning to on the first Saturday of every month at 1.05pm Eastern. P

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