I may be the last person in the world who didn’t know the meaning of life-maxxing. Earlier this week, I came across it for the very first time in a social media post and realized the word embodied everything I believe in and have learned through my grief journey.
Life-maxxing (or maxing) started as slang, and now I see it everywhere. On social media, it’s all about maximizing and optimizing mental and physical health, productivity, career, aspirations, and financial success.
And yet this word triggers a much deeper meaning for me. It means living life to the fullest because my loved ones no longer can. I now live for me AND for them.
When my parents died within four months of each other, my entire world felt dark, ugly, and closed in. I remember being stunned when the sun rose the morning after my mom had died. How was it possible that the world had not ended when mine had?
And yet, nature proved to be a wonderful teacher and guide in my journey through grief toward hope. It made me see things I had never noticed before.
Flowers became more vibrant; cut grass was greener and more fragrant than I had ever noticed before, and the birds, those tiny beautiful creatures, chirped louder than I had ever heard. The blue of the sky, the puff of the clouds, the heat of the sun, and the flavors of food were all so much more intense than I had experienced pre-loss. My senses had become maxxed, post-loss. I simultaneously recognized the fragility and richness of life.
It was then that I made a promise to my departed loved ones and to myself that I would live my life to the fullest, because they no longer could. I said yes to everything that came my way… career opportunities, volunteer roles, travel, laughter, and life.
The cycles of nature taught me the lessons I needed to keep my promise. I chose to see beauty and find joy in ordinary moments. It meant cherishing relationships rather than taking them for granted, because life is short and it’s sweet. I didn’t have any other choice, so I chose to keep going and growing, and to live life to the fullest.
All these years, I had been life-maxxing and didn’t know it.
Life-maxxing, then, to me, is not about maximizing productivity or accomplishments. It is about maximizing connection to people, to nature, and to all things still here, while honoring those who are no longer here. It is about fully embracing life, including the love and the loss, the joy and the grief, the beginnings and the endings.
It’s an invitation to grow with intention.
