Open to Hope Articles
Do you want to read stories of others who have been where you are? Are you looking for bereavement help, and advice? Look no further. We offer over 3,000 articles written by our Open to Hope authors.
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Everything Seems So Unreal — Coping with Unexpected Death
March 9, 2009
Responding to Ten Things Every New Widow Should Know to Survive, Jean writes: I just lost my husband on 2/23/09. He passed away at the airport before taking the trip to the East Coast for the new job training. That was his first day of the new job since he was laid off last Christmas. He would have been 40 this month and we have two twin girls. They will be 1 this month as well. I don’t know what to do when I am alone. Everything seems so unreal. His mom blames everything on me. That adds more pain. […]
Is Six Months After Husband’s Death Too Soon to Begin Dating?
March 9, 2009
Question from Mary: I lost my husband after 31 years. He literally dropped dead at work seven and a half months ago. We had been married almost 31 years and he was my soulmate. A few weeks ago, a man who I knew and met once through a social networking site started texting me and emailing me. He is separated and lonely. I look forward to his messages and I can’t help being flattered by his attention. He gives me a purpose to get up in the morning and I feel happier. At the same time, I feel a terrible […]
How to Talk To Your Doctor: Getting What You Want and Need, for Caregivers and Families
March 4, 2009
Most of us pine for the days when we had home town doc who delivered us, knows everything about us–and cared that we stay alive. Not that most ever had that–but it sure sounds good, doesn’t it? As a caregiver to my mom who had Parkinson’s, heart disease, and Alzheimer’s, trust me, I’ve spent a whole lot of time in the doctor’s offices. I’ve gone round and round trying to get them to understand not only what my mom needed, but what I could handle. I did a little research on-line to find out various ways to find a good doctor, and […]
Creating Memorial Services with Heart
March 4, 2009
By Carol O’Dell Creating a meaningful memorial service for your loved one is cathartic, and you don’t have to wait until your loved one passes to begin to think about what they — and you — want and need. It’s a part of caregiving you’d rather not think about, but it’s the last thing you can do to honor their wishes and gather everyone around to reminisce, consol each other, and share precious memories. Planning funerals and/or memorial services takes time, and you’d rather spend those last few weeks and days your loved one has on earth at their side. […]
Woman Nervous About Dating Widower
February 27, 2009
Question from a reader: I’m at the very beginning of a potential relationship with a guy who I’ve reconnected with after many years (we knew each other in high school). His spouse of 27+ years passed away four months ago, after a very long (21 years) battle with Multiple Sclerosis. He still grieves for her at times when he’s reminded of her, but he is moving on with his life. I’m nervous about getting involved with him too soon. He says he started grieving his loss of her before she even died since she’d been bed-ridden for two years, and […]
Widow-to-Be Thinking Beyond Husband’s Death
February 26, 2009
By Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT, DCC Question: My husband has advanced-stage lung cancer, and I have to face the inevitable that he will die soon. It’s been 8 months; we’ve been married for 20 years. I’m sure that it’s normal, but the thoughts that are running through my head are driving me insane. I keep envisioning myself starting relationships with other men. I feel guilty like I’ve already moved on with my life. It’s survival instinct too, because I can’t support my kids on my own and I’m trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my […]
Caregiver’s Support Group
February 25, 2009
I have to admit that I didn’t attend a caregiver support group while I was caring for my mom. Not everyone is the “group” type. I started full time caregiving back in 1998 and honestly, I didn’t even know caregiving support groups existed. I had decided that I wasn’t going to go and talk about my mother! Yeah, I’m stubborn. By the time I figured out my way in “caregiving land,” my mom was pretty far along. It’s not that I didn’t need a support group. I’m sure my friends were sick of my griping and whining. But honestly, what little energy […]
Husband’s Soul Lives on in His Shoes
February 21, 2009
by Michele Neff Hernandez — My husband had a shoe fetish. Phillip owned shoes for all occasions and athletic events-some were kept only for their sentimental value. To him, each pair either served a purpose or told a story, so there was no getting rid of them. This caused a serious storage issue. In addition to his side of the closet, he claimed the entire space under our bed. According to my husband, shoes could not be stacked, which meant the entire perimeter of the bed was lined with shoes. My shoes were piled in the closet in order to […]
“Widow’s Weeds” — Symbols of Mourning and the Profound Effect of Colors on Our Emotions
February 18, 2009
In the not-so-distant past, when an individual within a family died, there was a prescribed period of mourning, during which expectations of the bereaved family were lightened. In fact, if the mourners did engage in excessive activities, including entertaining guests or attending social events, it was perceived as being disrespectful to the deceased. There were also many conventions that symbolically told others that an individual or a family was in mourning, for example, the black wreath on the door, or, during WWII, the gold star in the window. Clothing also symbolized grief, most notably the Victorian era’s […]
