Open to Hope Articles

Forgiveness in Grief

September 2, 2015

I visited my 95-year old grandmother recently. She lives over 300 miles from me, so I don’t get to see her as often as I’d like. As we sat catching up, she mentioned that she had been having more and more thoughts about times earlier in life when, in her words, she did things that “were not very nice”. The example she gave me was when, as a frustrated young mother, she spanked my father out of anger during potty training that wasn’t going too smoothly. Recalling the memory brought her to tears. Knowing my father was coming to stay […]

R-A-W Emotions

August 27, 2015

We often hear that the death of a loved one brings people closer together. When we feel safe and can share with others, we move in and out of grief feeling supported and stable in the love that we have for the deceased. If people are fighting instead, feelings of loss may be compounded. In my own experience and through a number of stories that have been shared with me, some relationships appear to suffer permanent damage after the loss of a loved one. People who were close to the deceased don’t necessarily share the same perceptions, memories, experiences and/or […]

What Prison Inmates Taught Me about Drug Addicts

August 27, 2015

Normally when I write, I write from the standpoint of someone who has lost a child to cancer. But tonight I am compelled to write from a different perspective for parents who have lost a child to drug addiction. Allow me to explain. Prior to my Anthony’s death, I had always been a work-a-holic, single mom who did anything to make ends meet and provide for my children. His death created a paradigm shift in how I viewed work. I always thought it didn’t matter where I was employed or what the job description was, I would do it. If […]

Scott and Julia Starkey: Founders of Aware, Awake, Alive

August 13, 2015

On December 2, 2008, following a fraternity hazing ritual, Julia and Scott Starkey’s son Carson died of acute alcohol poisoning. Following his death, the Starkey family formed Aware Awake Alive, a nonprofit that prevents loss of life to alcohol poisoning by educating teens, young adults and parents on its symptoms and empowering them with the necessary tools and resources.   https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/audio.opentohope.com/OTH_JuliaScottStarkey.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Delayed Guilt: An Unwelcome, Unproductive Feeling

August 8, 2015

I wasn’t prepared for the thoughts I had the other day, guilty thoughts that suddenly surfaced in my mind. Although guilt can cause positive change, for the most part, I think it’s a non-productive feeling. Guilty feelings can tug a bereaved person backwards on the recovery path, when the goal is to move forward. Guilt is a component of grief. Often our guilty feelings begin with the words “I wish.” My guilty feelings were associated with my elder daughter, who died in 2007. Some of my thoughts: I wish I had known sooner. I wish I had more knowledge. I […]

Using the Pain of Grief as a Catalyst for Personal Growth

August 4, 2015

We all have defining moments. In fact, our lives are filled with them. I would describe these moments as stepping though a portal of experience that reshapes the world you live in. Once you’ve been through one of these portals, you can never return to the world you once knew; you can never un-learn what you now know. The question becomes, what do you do with this new knowledge? Some of these portals are pleasurable and filled with awe and wonder. They could be like the freedom of getting your driver’s license or living on your own for the first […]

Purposeful Tears

August 4, 2015

I spent two of my weekends this July presenting and speaking at national conferences for grieving parents, grandparents, and siblings. Needless to say, during these weekends I encountered more than a few people who were battling tears. It seems like an obvious statement to say that people who had lost dear members of their family would be crying from time to time. In fact, one of the most important elements of these conferences is to provide a safe haven for grieving families to cry amongst their own; people who understand the tragic roads they find themselves on. Everyone who is […]

Don Lipstein: Losing a Soldier Son to Suicide

July 27, 2015

In this episode of The Open to Hope Radio show, Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley interview Don Lipstein, who is a Peer Mentor Support and Training Coordinator for the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors of Military Loss (TAPS). Lipstein began working with TAPS in the summer of 2012, shortly after the suicide death of his son, Joshua. Today, he’s key in providing support and hope for other military family members who are in the early stages of their grief. Lipstein says TAPS aided him in pinpointing hope during the darkest of days. Lipstein notes that Joshua served two terms in […]

John Brooks: Suicide: Trying to Understand

July 23, 2015

John Brooks lost his adopted daughter, Casey to suicide at the Golden Gate Bridge in 2008. She was 17. A senior financial executive in the media industry, Brooks, 57, has written a memoir, “The Girl Behind The Door,” which vividly describes the ordeal he has been through. He has been heavily involved in suicide prevention groups and efforts since his daughter’s death. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/audio.opentohope.com/OpenToHope_JohnBrooks.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Podcast: Play in new window | Download