Open to Hope Articles
Do you want to read stories of others who have been where you are? Are you looking for bereavement help, and advice? Look no further. We offer over 3,000 articles written by our Open to Hope authors.
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Loss of a Child is the Hardest Goodbye
March 4, 2013
I had always dreaded goodbyes, feared separating from my family all my life and was destined to face the hardest separation of all. Since the day I started going to boarding school, my only fear in life was separation as I went to boarding school at the age of six. At my first boarding school, I had my older sisters with me and two years later my younger brother joined the boys’ school and I was able to see him during school days as the young boys came daily to our school until grade 3. I remember that I spent […]
Anniversary Reactions and a Strange Week
March 2, 2013
February 23rd was the sixth anniversary of my daughter’s death. A week before this day came, my mind was filled with memories of my daughter. I remembered the sugar-free apple pies she baked for us. I remembered how much fun she had with her twins. I remembered her sitting on our living room floor, laughing uproariously, and slapping her knee. Some unhappy memories also came to mind and I accepted them. “I’m going to be okay,” I told myself. But things weren’t okay and I kept making mistakes, silly mistakes I wouldn’t ordinarily make. For example, I sent my graphic […]
A Journey of Self- Discovery After Loss: Why We Are All Analog Kids
February 24, 2013
Wallowing Through The Muck The boy lies in the grass with one blade Stuck between his teeth A vague sensation quickens In his young and restless heart And a bright and nameless vision Has him longing to depart Lyrics by Neil Peart -From the song, The Analog Kid by Rush The pain of early grief after the death of our children makes children of us all. We have to learn how to walk again in a world that has now become changed due to catastrophic loss; a loss that defies the laws of the universe. The values […]
The Inevitable Question: How Many Children Do You Have?
February 20, 2013
On a recent cruise, I sat with five other ladies for dinner. It was not until the last night when the inevitable question came up: “How many children do you have, Sandy?” one lady asked. That has to be the most dreaded question a bereaved parent must answer. Do you count your deceased child in your total? Do you pretend they never existed? What is the best way to handle this sensitive topic? I find the best way is to just say, “I have one child who was killed in a car accident.” The room becomes quiet and uncomfortable usually, […]
My Grief Journey: The Truth and Nothing But The Truth
February 17, 2013
It Is What It Is I am a man who has been redefined by circumstances beyond my control. My process of redefinition started when my 18 -year- old daughter Jeannine died on 3/1/03 of a rare and aggressive form of cancer. If Jeannine were here now, she would tell me to not make her death a focal point of my change in perspective. However, it is what it is, and I can’t deny that my transformation as a human being began with her entry into eternal life. I am secure knowing that she continues to teach me in spirit, and […]
Letting Go of Things That Belonged to My Daughter
February 14, 2013
Moving on? We just moved to a new house. A new house my daughter has never lived in, and never will. We left an old house where she lived her entire four short years. A house where she spent countless hours playing, eating, sleeping, dressing up, making mischief, making us laugh…the list goes on. But it was also the house where she died. It was the house seared in our memories on that horrible day where our lives changed forever in a way we wish we could just figure out how to undo. As I prepared to move, I had […]
Devastating Losses: How Parents Cope With the Death of A Child to Suicide or Drugs
February 10, 2013
William Feigelman’s book, Devastating Losses: How Parents Cope With the Death of A Child to Suicide or Drugs, is available at Amazon.com. The book was published in June 2012 by the Springer Publishing Company. With its 575 respondents, the study explores many important aspects of suicide and drug-related death losses: how stigma impedes survivor’s healing, early and late adaptations to loss, post-traumatic growth, how loss affects men and women differently, marital relationships after loss and how support groups often play a major role in helping many survivors to better cope with their losses. Those visiting the publisher’s website at springerpub.com […]
Making Lemonade: Building on Life’s Challenges
February 8, 2013
Almost everyone has heard the saying, “When life sends you lemons, make lemonade.” In 2007, I received a bushel-full of lemons: the death of my daughter, death of my father-in-law, death of my brother and only sibling, death of my former son-in-law, and becoming guardian of 15-year-old grandchildren. Six years have passed since I suffered these multiple losses. Now I’m able to see my recovery journey more clearly. To be honest, I’ve surprised myself. Where did the courage come from? How did I make lemonade? First, I made a conscious decision to choose happiness. At my age and stage of life, […]
Profile of Drug-Death Bereaved Parents
February 7, 2013
This article is adapted from a longer selection first appearing in The Compassionate Friends We Need Not Walk Alone Magazine, (Winter2011/Spring 2012 issue). Parents losing children to a drug overdose or a drug-related death face an especially daunting post-loss adaptation challenge, when compared to other bereaved parents whose children died from suicides, automobile accidents and natural causes. Summing up our survey research results, based on 48 drug-death-bereaved parents, 462 suicide-bereaved, 37 mostly accidental deaths and 24 natural death cases, findings showed drug-death bereaved faced similar social stigmatization from socially significant others as suicide survivors did. What sets these mourners apart […]
