Open to Hope Articles
Do you want to read stories of others who have been where you are? Are you looking for bereavement help, and advice? Look no further. We offer over 3,000 articles written by our Open to Hope authors.
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Giving Back to Friends Who Helped You Grieve
August 21, 2009
Grief is isolating. You may become so isolated that you are barely aware of your friends’ help. Sure, you remember their phone calls and sympathy cards, but you may not see the scope of their caring. As I discovered, the support of friends is necessary for grief reconciliation. On a Friday night in February of 2007, my elder daughter died from the injuries she received in a car crash. On Sunday, just two days later, my father-in-law succumbed to pneumonia. I sobbed when I saw their photos on the same page of the newspaper. Friends saw the photos, read the […]
Does Grief End? Being Available for ‘Turning Points’
August 21, 2009
After my son’s death, there were many turning points along the way in my grief. I could not make them happen all by myself, but I could make myself available. At each turning point, there was a sense of Divine Grace; it was only in quiet reflection or in sharing the experience with a good listener that I could say “thank you.” I remember well the first time I could look at my son’s picture without breaking down in sobs. His suicide was shocking, terrifying and beyond heart-breaking. That memorable day, I sat on our sofa and looked at a photograph of his […]
Does Grief End? Turning the Corner Takes Work, Faith, Patience
August 21, 2009
People who come for grief therapy often ask, “How long does this sadness last?” “Does it ever get better?” “Will I ever wake up some morning and feel something different than what I’m feeling now?” Though the questions are usually the same, the answers are not! I have learned from listening to others and from working through my own grief experiences, that length of grief time, changes in feelings, and turning the grief corners not only vary from person to person, but also vary for a single individual, depending upon the grief situation. After the death of my mother, as an eleven-year-old, I was stuck […]
Growing Through Grief
August 21, 2009
Around 1:30 in the afternoon, Dec. 7, 1993 – by coincidence, Pearl Harbor Day – I put my three-year-old son, Michael, down for his nap, went to my office, turned on the intercom, and began to work on my third novel. The intercom was silent, and I wrote steadily. Around 4 p.m., mildly concerned that Mikey was sleeping too long, I went to wake him up. I found him in the midst of a silent, deadly seizure. I started to scream, my husband came running, and although we didn’t really know it then, we had arrived with our baggage at […]
Grandmother Wants to Commemorate Deceased Grandson’s Birthday
August 21, 2009
Deborah writes in: My infant grandson passed away on the day of his birth, and the anniversary is coming. Do you have any suggestions on how to celebrate this day? Mom and Dad are sooo sad. Thank you for your help. Monica Novak, author of The Good Grief Club, responds: Dear Deborah: I am so very sorry for the loss of your grandson. The year following the death of a baby takes a family through such a wide range of emotions, often culminating on the first anniversary of that death, that it can be difficult to decide how to spend the […]
Reconciling Grief: Take All the Time You Need
August 21, 2009
Mourners want grief to end. Some try to rush their mourning, only to find it cannot be rushed. According to The Talmud, “Who forces time is pushed back by time; who yields to time finds time is on his side.” The process of reconciliation – -making the deceased part of yourself and your life — is a slow one. It’s even slower it you have suffered multiple losses. Colin Murray Parkes writes about time in “All in the End is Harvest.” He says, “Death may happen in a moment, but grief takes time; and that time is both an ordeal […]
‘I Just Lost My Son!’ Mother Reaches Out for Help
August 21, 2009
Tami writes in: I just lost my 18-year-old son in a motorcycle accident….I am so devastated!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can someone help me??????? He is my life! Dr. Gloria Horsley, founder of www.opentohope.com, responds: Dear Tami: Our hearts go out to you. My own son was killed in a fiery crash when he was 17 and I know the shock and pain you are feeling right now. Somehow you get through doing all the things you have to do after such an accident – there are many decisions to make that you don’t feel you can handle but you can and will. If […]
Company Prepares to Welcome Employee Back After Stillbirth
August 21, 2009
I received a call one day from Pat, the Share support group facilitator and perinatal bereavement coordinator at the local hospital, telling me that she and I had been invited to speak to one of the departments at a nearby corporation. Diana, the manager who had contacted Pat, told her that one of her employees, a woman named Michelle, had recently delivered her firstborn — a stillborn daughter. Michelle was about to return to work after a six-week maternity leave. Not only was Michelle an employee, she was a dear friend of Diana’s and everyone else in the department. They were […]
Does Grief End? Mom Holds On While Letting Go
August 21, 2009
After my infant son, Dylan, died I started jotting down various things and scenes I recalled from our experience. I wanted to write about these memories not only to capture the details of Dylan’s life and death as a personal keepsake, but I also wanted to send it to our health care team. I wanted them to learn from our experience. Writing our story felt good, it was therapeutic for me. I wanted to share the parental aspects as well as the medical. Writing allowed me to release all this “stuff”. Afterward, I felt different. For a while I was […]
