Open to Hope Articles
Do you want to read stories of others who have been where you are? Are you looking for bereavement help, and advice? Look no further. We offer over 3,000 articles written by our Open to Hope authors.
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The Tension between Recent Loss and Future Vision
July 17, 2024
May 16, 2024, would have been my son Thomas’s twenty-second birthday. But instead of candles on a chocolate cake that my wife Elin has baked – Thomas’s favorite – we have candles like the one pictured above scattered throughout our home. I have one on the nightstand next to my bed. I light it each night before I surrender to the place from which God provides leadership for my life (Psalm 23). I’ve switched roles with Thomas. Normally, children are the legacy of their parents. But I feel a sense of duty to carry my son’s legacy forward so that […]
Moving Through Spontaneous Moments of Grief
July 1, 2024
Spontaneous Moments of Grief Soon after my father died, I was in a restaurant with a good friend and our daughters. We were on a trip that we had planned months before, and I hadn’t wanted to cancel it because it meant a lot to me to do something special over a school break with my child, especially after I’d been gone for so long to be with my dad before he died, and then with my family as we navigated the time afterwards. I was tender, but I think still in a halo of disbelief. I could smile and […]
Dating During Widowhood: Am I Being Disloyal?
June 24, 2024
Dating During Widowhood We often hear widows and widowers say, “I had such a wonderful partner that I could never be with another person.” Friends and family members who are also missing this departed partner often see this outlook as a badge of honor and courage, and so they encourage it. Obviously, though, these attitudes focus on the past, and can keep us stuck there. And the people who applaud singlehood don’t have to grapple with loneliness. What do you want your future to look like? If indeed you had a great partner, it means that you know how to […]
How Long Should Grief Last?
June 17, 2024
How Long Should Grief Last? I was shocked one day when a friend of mine told me his employer spoke harshly to him after he returned from the three-day bereavement leave his company had given him when his father died after a long battle with cancer. He was understandably sad and a little distracted when his employer said: “Your bereavement leave is done. Now get over it and get back to work.” People, especially those who have not experienced the death of a loved one, can have unrealistic expectations based on their lack of experience or empathy. In these cases, […]
Grief is Healthy
June 17, 2024
Grief is Healthy Grief is a healthy response. Being sad and remembering things you don’t want to can bring up tears and heartache, but things have to come up to help you heal. Some days the weight is so heavy you have to just lie down alone, and if that’s the case, just do it. Sometimes you want to read a book or watch a movie. If that’s the case, just do it. Know, though, that avoiding your feelings will only make them harder to deal with. Grieve for as little or as much as you need to. Only you […]
My Father’s Conscious Dying
June 10, 2024
My Father’s Conscious Living As Father’s Day approaches, memories bubble up of my beloved dad. I grew up feeling valued by him, and as a kid, I was always willing to do my part. I learned that when everyone pitches in a reasonable portion of the work around the home, it makes the chores go smoothly. When shared with others, work can be a fun enterprise. Daddy always asked me to be his helper as he worked at various chores around our home. One of my favorite jobs was washing the car with him. He made it fun to lather […]
Self-Care in Grief: Woman in a Blue Padded Folding Chair
June 10, 2024
Woman In A Blue Padded Folding Chair Stop. Breathe. Be. Inhale. Exhale. Wait. I’m sitting in a blue padded folding chair in the basement of a church trying to learn how to meditate. Stop. Breathe. Be. Inhale. Exhale… This just isn’t working for me. It’s the second week of a ten-week course I didn’t want to take in the first place. But, today I especially don’t want to be here. When I woke up in the morning the first thing I thought was, “How many minutes ‘til one o’clock?” I showered and dressed and looked at the clock. I went […]
Grief During Chronic Illness
June 4, 2024
Grief During Chronic Illness I remember when I started to hear the word “chronic” from the mouths of people that were involved in my health. I recall the acupuncturist who asked how long my symptoms had been happening. She nodded knowingly at my answer, “Oh, so this is chronic.” I hear the doctor who seemed pleased with himself when diagnosing me with something that was simply repeating what I said I was experiencing, “Ah hah! Sounds like chronic fatigue.” I was surprised to hear this word reflected back to me. When I looked at my health deductions and expenses for […]
When God Leads You to a Parent’s Deathbed
May 27, 2024
I got used to living a fatherless life, even before he died. When I thought about him, it was always followed by guilt, and then I would actually stutter. It was better to not think about him at all. And then one day my sister, Peggy called. “Hello Anne. You’ve got to come. It’s Dad. He’s dying of cancer.” Is she crazy? She knew what he had accused me of. He blamed me for our mother’s death. She knew all about that. And now she is telling me I need to come and see him? “No!” I shout. “I can’t.” […]
