Open to Hope Articles
Do you want to read stories of others who have been where you are? Are you looking for bereavement help, and advice? Look no further. We offer over 3,000 articles written by our Open to Hope authors.
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When Should the Wedding Ring Come Off?
May 30, 2013
Hi Abel, I’m interested in starting to date causally again. I’ve read through your posts and understand that most women feel uncomfortable dating a widower if he’s still wearing a wedding ring. My question to you is this: Instead of taking my wedding ring off, what if I wore it on my right hand instead of my left? Would that still make them uncomfortable? Thanks, G. Dear G: Wearing the wedding ring on your right hand instead of your left is definitely a step in the right direction but odds are it’s still going to make most women uncomfortable—especially if […]
Love the Second Time Around
May 24, 2013
Dear Abel, My wife passed away a little over a year ago. We were married for 17 years. I started dating six month after she died. After dating around for a bi,t I finally started dating someone exclusively last month. She’s a great woman and I feel fortunate to have such a smart, attractive, and wonderful woman to get to know better. The problem is that I can’t sort out my feelings about her. I like her, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t know if I’m love with her or just happy to have someone in my life again. […]
Uncontrollable Life Events: Adjusting to Widowhood
May 21, 2013
It was about 5 a.m. on an Easter morning. It was still dark outside when I was awakened by a nerve-shattering noise, like a screech from a trapped animal or an uncanny moaning from another world. As I roused myself into wakefulness, I realized the sound had come from my husband, Dick, who was sleeping beside me. I stumbled from the bed and walked around to his side of the bed and gently shook him—thinking that a nightmare had forced his cry. There was no response. His body was rigid and cold to my touch. I frantically dialed 911, while […]
Celebrating Memorial Day – My Way
May 21, 2013
Around Memorial Day, many people go to the cemetery to spruce up their loved ones’ graves. They want visitors to see that they are nicely cared for. I don’t have to do that because I know I can trust the cemetery in Arlington Heights, IL, where our loved ones rest, to do it for me.But that doesn’t mean I have nothing else to do. I now have established my own Memorial Day ritual. I make a trip around our home, inside and out, following a path my husband used to take each spring. This year I saw a lightbulb outside […]
Wanting to Date Again
May 18, 2013
Dear Abel, I lost my wife three months ago after a tragic accident. This may sound crazy to most people but I feel like dating again. Is it normal for men to feel this way so soon after the death of a spouse? What pointers would you give someone in my situation who decided to start dating again? Thanks, T. Dear T: You’ve asked some great questions. First, there’s nothing wrong with feeling the need to date so soon after the death of your wife. Though how soon widowers have this feeling varies from person to person, wanting to date […]
Going with the Flow
May 16, 2013
We’re all familiar with the different stages or phases in life – childhood to youth, youth to adulthood, and so on. Those stages could never happen if there wasn’t change ~ every day. Like a flower unfolding, each stage has its beauty and also its challenges. Those constant little changes become part of the rhythm of our daily life and we really don’t think too much about them. It’s the “big” changes that tend to rock our boat. That happened to me when I lost my husband and both parents in a short period of time. Everything changed, seemingly overnight, […]
Remarriage Surprise: A Mother-in-Law
May 11, 2013
On February 19, 2006, when Allan proposed to me at Hoff Jewelers at a mall in Maplewood, Minnesota, for some odd reason it never dawned on me that I’d be inheriting a mother-in-law too. I was 59 and Allan 60—youngsters at heart. Our spouses had died, so it was a second marriage for both of us. Still, he wanted to give me a diamond ring. Aglow as the gem sparkled on my finger, I pictured Allan and me hand-in-hand for the rest of our lives. In April, five months before our September wedding, I was looking forward to retiring from […]
Want to Fast Forward Through Mother’s Day?
May 7, 2013
Have you ever wished you had a huge remote and could fast-forward through something? A tedious conversation, or maybe the perky dental hygienist with a terrifying tray of metal weapons? I have. Mother’s Day isn’t supposed to be on that list, is it? For anyone missing your mother this year, or maybe you’re a mom missing your beloved child, you know what I’m talking about. It’s inescapable — hourly reminders of happy moms and children everywhere you turn. If you’re considering pulling the percale sheets over your head and waking up Monday, you’re not alone. I remember the first Mother’s […]
Finding a Way to Laugh
May 6, 2013
Several months after my husband died, something happened that caused me to laugh. I was surprised at how good it felt. It also surprised me when I thought about how long it had been since I had last laughed, so I decided then and there that I would start laughing, even if I had to make a conscious decision to do it. But how to get started? As I thought about it, I knew we had books and magazines with humor in them, so I started raiding the bookshelves, pulling out anything and everything that was funny, and I put […]
