When we are gone, who will want our pictures and possessions, especially if we have lost our only child? If we have surviving children and/or siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, will any of these people want the items we now cherish, or do these items lose their meaning entirely when someone in a family dies?

Throughout my life and my daughter’s, I took many photos, saved many possessions and encouraged her to do the same. Here I am with all these memories that I enjoy having, and it scares me to think of what may happen to them when I am gone.

There are surviving children who are known to throw away, give away, sell, shred or even burn parents’ photos in addition to other parental possessions they don’t want. So should we bother with all the effort we put in to taking photos, buying knick knacks and gifts for others and/or making scrapbooks in our lifetime?

Many parents say they don’t bother taking photos of trips, cruises or the like anymore. Nor do they make any effort to buy something beautiful such as glass sculpture, just to have them disposed of by surviving children or relatives.

I completely disagree. No matter where they may end up, I enjoy making memories and hope that others can relate to that. But if someone in the next generation, that is, children or other relatives, don’t want any of these memories, well, at least I had the pleasure of enjoying them for as long as I could. I particularly enjoy those photos or items that belonged to my now deceased only child. I have many photos, some possessions and two videos.

I don’t want my daughter to be forgotten, but we have to have caring people in our lives who want to keep her memory alive after we are gone, and what better way to do that than by having photos and possessions to look at? 

Sandy Fox 2012

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Sandy Fox

Sandy Fox has won four finalist awards for her recent book "Creating a New Normal...After the Death of a Child" with over 80 coping articles and a huge resource section. One award is from USA Book News in the Health/Death and Dying Category for 2010. The second award is from ForeWord Reviews in the Health Category for 2010. The third is from Royal Dragonfly Book Awards. The most recent finalist award is for the self-help category of the 2011 Indie Book Awards. She is also the author of another grief book, "I Have No Intention of Saying Good-bye." “I Have No Intention of Saying Good-bye” tells the stories of 25 sets of parents and how they moved on with their lives after the death of their child, offering hope and survival techniques. Sandy has headed two national bereavement conferences for childless parents and spoken for many years at Compassionate Friends National conferences, POMC and across the U.S. to a variety of bereavement groups. She also writes articles for the Open to Hope site, EZ articles, and Journey through grief newsletter in addition to her own weekly blog: www.survivinggrief.blogspot.com. Sandy can be contacted at sfoxaz@hotmail.com to set up any speaking engagements or to ask any questions related to surviving the death of a child. Sandy was a guest on the radio show “Healing the Grieving Heart“ discussing: “I have no intention of Saying Good-Bye: Coping Techniques for the Now Childless.” To hear Sandy being interviewed on this show by Dr. Gloria & Dr. Heidi Horsley, click on the following link: www.voiceamericapd.com/health/010157/horsley010407.mp3

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