How Belief Systems Shape Our Grief

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This is the third of four articles based on concepts, research and experiences shared in, LOVE NEVER DIES by Elizabeth Horwin.

WHAT DO WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND?

The first article in this series focused on the concept of What is Life and the second focused on the concept of What is Death. I encouraged the reader to examine their beliefs and suggested some ideas to ponder about Life and Death.

In this article I am focusing on belief systems. What I know for sure is our behavior is based on our beliefs. For example, if I believe that the way I should interact with other human beings is to be kind and respectful, that is how I will behave; but if I believe that my interaction with other human beings should be to control them, insist that they do what I want them to do, then my behavior towards them will be disrespectful and even abusive. In working with clients in my private practice, the primary goal is to examine their beliefs because of the direct link between beliefs, feelings and behavior.

What do we need to understand about our individual belief systems?

  • Our initial belief system is a result of what we’ve learned from our parents, tribe, community, culture and religion.
  • All feelings (peace, contentment, depression, anxiety, etc.) are a result of our belief system.
  • Our behaviors (being kind, generous, mean, abusive, etc.) are based on our belief system.
  • Our beliefs can change, based on our life experiences, if we have the courage to challenge them.

To aid in understanding and perhaps challenging one’s belief system, consider pondering the following five ideas. Decide what, if any, makes sense to you. 

REINCARNATION

  • For many religions, reincarnation is a cornerstone belief. Google “reincarnation”; there are over 18 million references!
  • We are experiencing, learning and balancing all previous incarnations. Each time we come into form we are.
  • Karma is neither good nor bad: it is cause-and-effect, choice and consequence, action and reaction. Our job as human beings is to balance the negative and positive within us in each incarnation. 

RELIGION & CULTURE

  • No religion, ideology or law has the power to reduce universal laws to fit into a construct that says, “This is the only way. We our right.”
  • Religion can serve as the foundation, not of rules, but a design, a pattern of conduct towards human beings and all living things……..Love of God, of Oneself, of thy Neighbor.
  • It is a violation in interaction with others to judge anyone’s life experience. There is absolutely no way of knowing another person’s purpose. 

FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS

  • The family we are born into is the family of karma and service. More often than not the family we chose to be born into gives us an opportunity to balance karma from previous lives together.
  • In physical form all relationships end. This is the reality for humans as well as all life forms.
  • Our energy is constantly vibrating. We can vibrate with the higher energies of love, service, generosity, caring, compassion, kindness or the lower energies of jealousy, competition, hatred. It is our choice. 

IMPERMANENCE

  • To realize the impermanence of everything is freeing. There is no more correlation between what I have and what I want. Now it is all about Spirit.
  • When Spirit enters the earth plane, it has pre-planned the opportunities it wants to experience and learn from. The truth is that everything that happens has Purpose and Design.
  • Detachment is so important. It is in identifying with “form” that causes pain. Material possessions serve us, not the other way around.

LOVE & PEACE

  • Love is the essence of Life and where there is Love there is Peace. When Love is not present conflict arises and in conflict there is duality, suffering and fear.
  • We are at Peace when we are vibrating in Love, Truth and Service. We will continue to experience Peace if we live in a continuous state of Gratitude.
  • The feeling of Peace departs when we vibrate with the lower frequencies of jealousy, fear, hate, control and competition.

In our earthly experience this time, there is HOPE if each and every one of us decides that we can be a light, a candle in the darkness. Only we can change ourselves, our perceptions and our beliefs.

            LOVE & PEACE—-NAMASTE 

Elizabeth Horwin is a Licensed Professional Counselor offering workshops, seminars and retreats to individuals, organizations and employers assisting them in dealing with and healing from life’s losses.

 

Elizabeth Horwin

More Articles Written by Elizabeth

Elizabeth attended Holy Family University and graduated from the University of Scranton where she obtained her Bachelors and Master of Science degrees. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor and for over twenty-five years, she has held National Certifications as a Rehabilitation Counselor, Case Manager and Disability Management Specialist. As a counselor, educator, trainer and consultant, she has been named in Who’s Who Among American Women; is recognized as a national speaker and seminar leader; has participated in radio talk shows; served on various boards of directors and for her professional association, National Association of Rehabilitation Professionals, as President of the Pennsylvania chapter; was awarded the 2015 Professional Service Award from The Compassionate Friends, a national organization supporting families by providing friendship, understanding, and hope after a child dies; published in professional journals; assisted in the publication of a landmark five volume study on adult learning disabilities; and, recently served a five year term as Commissioner on the National Certification for Disability Management Specialists Board. Elizabeth’s recently published book, ”LOVE NEVER DIES”, provides unique insights in understanding birth, death and loss in life and in relationships. It teaches the individual how to understand and live through the stages of loss; begin and complete the healing process; and raise consciousness and awareness to the shift and impact in the way you now relate to life. Her address is: 180 Providence Lane, Lansdale, PA 19446 Phone number: 215-412-9043 Her web site is: www.elizabethhorwin.com

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