“There are no random acts…We are all connected…You can no more separate one life from another than you can separate a breeze from the wind…” – Mitch Albom

It’s true…I feel it, you feel it…we are all connected. As human beings, we feel each other’s pain. Because of this we are able to pull together when necessary, when someone is ill or dying, to show our caring. We can do this in many ways, by sitting with the person, checking in with them by telephone, or by doing the practical things, the small “labors of love” like cooking and laundry.

My friend’s daughter died early this morning after struggling for over a year with cancer. I’ve learned things through the experience of supporting my friend, her mother, throughout this time.

I would say that the most important part for me has learning to walk that delicate line between keeping in touch – in the background – and backing off. Not trying to take over or force my opinions about what the family may or may not need. To simply stand by as they struggle, to respect the privacy they gain by doing it themselves.

What the next days or weeks will bring is uncertain, but I do know that the group of friends, the supporters, will continue to stand by and be ready for what is asked of us.

Because we are all connected we will reach out to our friend and to each other.

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Ellen Besso

Ellen Besso holds a Master of Arts degree in Counseling Psychology, is a Martha Beck Certified Coach and a Registered Clinical Counselor. She specializes in helping women access their joy and passion as they navigate the challenges of midlife, including caring for their elders. a href=https://www.opentohope.com/2009/09/17/ellen-besso-helping-others-after-loss/>To Listen to Ellen on Open to Hope Radio

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