Do you have the courage to cry? In my experience, a vast majority of people I encounter seem to suppress their tears because our culture deems crying in public as unacceptable.? I wonder how it is that if you and I are to fully encourage success in life that we can also discourage our emotional response to that life.? It seems to me that inhibiting tears somehow means that you?re strong and capable; unaffected by and disconnected from the influence of others.? What I’m suggesting is that to detach from others is to be invulnerable to one?s self; to be invulnerable to your whole being, your whole life, and your whole good.
Not crying when you really want to is not risking but choosing safety.? To withhold your tears, whether painful or joyful, is to choose the gray fog of indifference to yourself.? That, my friend, is the definition of neglect.
In my own life, I used to wish I wouldn’t cry.? My propensity for tears was always beyond my control.? I couldn’t stop myself and yet, I didn’t want to cry.? I didn’t want others to see my pain or to know that I was lacking in confidence and self-discipline.? Most of all, I wanted to hide my feelings because I associated them with my mother.? I thought her tears were a sign of weakness.? I thought her emotional waves were the reason my father left us.? And if there was anything I didn’t want, it was more abandonment.
I once believed that my ability to feel life so intensely was my greatest liability.? And, once I had a baby, it only got worse.? I could cry at the drop of a hat and ultimately I stopped fighting the tears.? I cried at home, at work, in restaurants and at meetings.
Then one day, a mentor of mine explained the true meaning of emotions.? Its translation entirely shifted my willingness to cry without judgment.? She told me that the word emote was Latin in origin.? She said that E stands for I and MOTE stands for MOVE. Emote means I-MOVE.? And the more I cried, the closer I moved towards the authentic me.
I discovered that my tears were a bridge to the intimacy I?d always lacked with myself.? And the more permission I gave myself to cry, the more people would come to me and say “Thank you.? You amaze me at how you can let yourself feel.? It touched me and I wish I could do that too.”
And the truth is… YOU CAN! You can touch what’s real and make contact with the hidden self.? You can taste the juicy sweetness of success that lies beyond sorrow.? Doing that requires that you shift your thinking by acknowledging emotions, not as your greatest liability, but as your greatest asset.? That means honoring my mother for her profound strength in being human, for she alone gifted me with the feminine power I now embody.
Letting go is so much easier to do when you understand that tears are the natural response to being provoked, excited or stressed.? That’s why tears come in so many flavors: relief, joy, grief, anxiety.? Through tears, your body seeks to regain the balance that so many of us need.? Biochemist William Frey who wrote ?The Mystery of Tears? compared the normal moisturizing tear with the tear caused by emotion and found that stressful tears contained ACTH or adrenochorticotrophic hormone. ACTH is associated with high blood pressure, heart problems, peptic ulcers, and other physical conditions related to stress.? That’s why you feel so much better after a good cry. You?re literally washing away harmful hormones from your body.
So go on, let it out it and begin moving toward the personal prosperity within you.? Open the door to your heart by feeling what’s there and keep that door open to all the goodness that may enter into the space you’ve created inside. In the words of Washington Irving:
“There is a sacredness in tears.? They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.? They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.? They are messengers of overwhelming grief? and unspeakable love.”
My challenge to you is to simply feel what you feel, in real-time, with real purpose.? I encourage you to remember that anger is merely a mask for sadness and need not be directed at others or yourself.? You may find writing your unexpressed emotions on paper to be a cathartic exercise.? I’d also suggest safely burning what you’ve written in order to liberate that energy from your life.
Until next time, I leave you with abundant peace.
Joyanne Sloan is certified life coach, inspirational author and podcaster. She helps you transform the life you just live into a life you just LOVE!
Discover her books, articles and podcasts for thought-provoking perspectives on how to live the life you’ve waited so long for.
Copyright ? 2007 Joyanne Sloan – All Rights Reserved
?Tags: grief, hope