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How Hope Changes for a Mother of Many Losses

Posted on March 13, 2018 - by Annah Elizabeth

There was a time, in the early hours and months following my son’s death, where hope was nothing but a desperate desire to wake up from a bad dream. A hope that bordered on denial fed my wildest imagination, where I would wake up to find myself still pregnant or even better yet, to find my firstborn quietly sleeping in his crib in the room adjoining ours. It’s a hope you can no doubt relate to, Neighbor, a plea for anything that would put back together the pieces of my shattered heart. In the early aftermath that follows a significant […]

The Fear of Forgetting

Posted on March 11, 2018 - by Harriet Hodgson

This is the 11th year without my daughter Helen. I still miss her, still love her, and still remember her. But I’m worried. When I try to imagine Helen’s face in my mind, the image isn’t as clear as it used to be, and I don’t think of her as often. I have a fear of forgetting her. On February 23, 2007 Helen died from the injuries she received in a car crash. Two days later my father-in-law died. Two months later my brother, and only sibling, died. In the fall, the twins’ father died from the injuries he received […]

Reaching Grieving People in Communities of Color

Posted on March 7, 2018 - by Heidi Horsley

Brianne Overton is a grief counselor in the St. Louis metro area, and recently spoke with Dr. Heidi Horsley at the Association of Death Education and Counseling conference. Overton specializes in working with kids and teens, particularly in marginalized and under-represented demographics. She welcomes patients in her office, but is also very active in community outreach, partnering with a variety of housing organizations and other agencies where she might connect with potential patients. “I call myself a traveling counselor,” she says. “A lot of my clients don’t have a means of traveling to me—I can travel to them.” Dr. Horsley […]

Love and Grief: When Loss Enters Marriage

Posted on March 3, 2018 - by Luellen Hoffman

Like most family-oriented guys, my friend Chris searched and searched for his true partner and soul mate. I watched on the sideline as he spent months, lamenting on how he wanted to find a special woman to love, especially after two previously failed marriages. He still believed in love, and despite all the pain it had caused him in the past, he wanted to be married again. His first marriage took place when he was very young and did not last a year. His second attempt at marriage didn’t work out much better due to the abuse he suffered at […]

Valentine’s Day Killings at Parkland MSD High School: Grief and Trauma Support for Parkland

Posted on March 1, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

My daughter Heidi and I and our foundation, Open to Hope, have been invited to be a part of a grief support group responding to the deadly Valentine’s Day killings at Parkland MSD High School, Parkland, Florida, where 17 people were killed, many others were wounded or injured and over 3000 students and teachers were traumatized, leaving the community in shock, despair and anger. Mitch Carmody and Bob Resciniti, a long-time resident of the community, are organizing and sponsoring the event. Bob is no stranger to loss as his son, Bobby, was killed in an automobile accident when he was […]

When the Caregiver Becomes the Patient

Posted on February 20, 2018 - by Carla J Vagnini

I wanted to share my recent experience transforming from caregiver to patient. Until Jan. 11, 2018, I’ve been my father’s primary caregiver since his wife passed away in Nov. 2014. My husband has been helping with my father, and coming to doctor’s appointments developed a wonderful relationship with my dad. I’ve tried to manage everything, including shopping, doing the laundry he’d prefer I do and handling all matters associated with his care at his assisted living facility. I had put off the elective surgery on my foot and decided to finally get it over with. Being off my feet is […]

Grieving Suicide, Homicide or Traumatic Deaths: Finding Purpose in the Pain

Posted on February 17, 2018 - by Mary Joye

If everyone around you does not understand why you can’t get past the past, perhaps it is because you are grieving a very complex or traumatic death. In the face of murder, suicide or untimely trauma, it feels nearly impossible to stop the intrusive thoughts. They play through your mind like a tape loop in a seemingly never-ending guilt-and-shame-provoking dialogue. Phrases like: “If I was there, this wouldn’t have happened.” “What if I just made it a point to call or care more often?” “Why didn’t I have an intervention for the drug use?” “I feel so guilty. This is […]

Promptings of Hope

Posted on February 14, 2018 - by Lisa Irish

After a long, cold New England winter, I find myself on the lookout for any sign of Spring … a crocus peeking out of the melting snow, a slight haze of color in the trees across the lake, my own spirits lifting. These promptings … encouragements, reminders…return each year to help me make the transition from winter to spring. If I listen, as one listens for the voice off-stage with the line I keep forgetting, I find the guidance I need to survive the last days of winter’s chill. Promptings have appeared in my work with those who grieve, as […]

Head and Heart: Like the Acorn and the Oak Tree

Posted on February 9, 2018 - by Charles W. Sidoti

Grasping a concept or idea intellectually is one thing: having it become a real part of who you are is something different. I once heard it said, “Scripture contains the word of God in the way that the acorn contains the oak tree. It is all there, but its presence is made known to us little by little.” Living at God’s speed means accepting that my understanding of the way God works in my life will come to me in God’s time. Sometimes the proverbial light bulb goes on in our heads and we learn something instantly, but most of the time real learning […]

Death of Husband Led Her to Stop Fearing Life

Posted on February 7, 2018 - by Laura Macauley

The word “fear”. Take a moment to think about what fear means to you. To me, the word brings up a million different images. To most, it means that they are afraid of something: afraid to speak in public, or scared and nervous to try something new, which is often actually a fear of failure. To me, fear means that I am not stepping outside of my comfort zone and I am not taking healthy chances. All changes, all goals and all life choices are the result of looking fear in the face. Fear causes people not to live. That […]