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Strong Back, Soft Front: Staying Open to Emotion

Posted on January 23, 2018 - by Greg Adams

“Every man is for himself, on that you can rely You’ll have to hide behind a shield to stay alive.” David Roth The Armor Song How do we envision life—what image catches its essential nature? Is life basically a struggle, a constant challenge and confrontation with obstacles? Is life a gift, a blessing to receive with gratitude, care, and nurture? Is it a test or a trial for what comes next? Or perhaps life is like a small boat on a huge ocean riding out the great varieties of weather—storms swells which can capsize, dead calm with no discernible movement […]

The Stuff of Death

Posted on January 18, 2018 - by Kim Shute

When my grandmother died, no one had touched the belongings in her attic or most of her house in at least 11 years. Her attic was the kind you access from a set of pull down rungs at the top of steep stairs surrounded by creepy ancient wallpaper that looked indicative of Versailles. The pull down ladder stairs creaked threatening to give way under any amount of weight more significant than 91 pounds, my grandmother’s weight. She had a three bedroom house with an old barn up on the hill behind the house. It smelled of old New England town, […]

How Near-Death Experiences Change Our Thoughts About Death

Posted on January 12, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Roberta Moore about her near death experience and how these experiences affect people’s thoughts and insights on death. When Roberta was 13 years old, she had a spontaneous out of body experience. When she was in her early 30’s she had a near death experience, which she describes as “overwhelming and wonderful.” Roberta discusses near death experiences, and how they affect people, in the video below: Here are some key takeaways from the video: Roberta believes it’s very comforting for people to know that when someone has […]

Coping With the Loss of a Teen by Suicide

Posted on January 10, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Carolyn Zahnow about The Shore Grief Center and tips she has to find healing after suicide loss. Carolyn lost her son, Cameron, in 2005 when he was 18 years old. In the video below, Carolyn shares advice on how to cope with this experience if you’re grieving after having lost your teenage child to suicide. Here are some key takeaways from the video: The first year is awful, Carolyn says, and describes it as being in a fog. Carolyn first recommends going to a grief support group. […]

What’s On Your Brave-Making List?

Posted on January 10, 2018 - by Marlys Johnson

My husband and I met at his family reunion. His sister (my best friend) invited me for a weekend of baseball playing and river dunkings and campfire sitting on an Oregon-green campground. I didn’t know my friend had a fourth brother. Gary. Fast forward several years: Gary and I drove away from the annual campout a day early. He had awakened with a low-grade fever and flu-like symptoms which, if you’ve been on chemo and have tubes protruding unnaturally from your body, usually means an infection. We were experts at this. I packed the car, got my husband settled comfortably […]

Facing Mortality: Interview with Isabel Stenzel Byrnes

Posted on January 8, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Isabel Stenzel Byrnes about living with an illness and learning how to find hope and find a balance. Isabel was born with cystic fibrosis, and she says that her friends with the illness gave her the support and skills needed to live with her disease. However, that support came at a cost for Isabel, as almost every year she lost at least one or two friends to cystic fibrosis. She explains that she got to witness how she would eventually die from her disease, but also become […]

Be Selfish to Heal More Quickly

Posted on January 8, 2018 - by Catherine McNulty

I didn’t believe that my son would die. The death of a child is a tragic and horrific event that happens to someone else, not to me. Until it did. The grieving process sucked the very life out of me. My grief strained me emotionally as I experienced a roller-coaster of emotions like anger, depression, guilt, sadness and confusion. The grief process drained me physically as I realized that the energy I was accustomed to having each day had vanished with my son and was no longer available. I remember telling myself that I should get over being so sad […]

Supporting Families Through Grief Beyond the Hospital

Posted on January 6, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

A labor and delivery registered nurse (RN), Chamel Thompson also works with Emerging Beyond, an organization that supports people after they’ve lost a loved one. Thompson recently spoke with Dr. Gloria Horsley at the Association of Death Education and Counseling conference in San Antonio, Texas about her work and what Emerging Beyond offers to those in grief. Generally, Thompson has found that being there and supporting those during their bereavement period is critical, but it’s often impossible to stay with them as long as necessary. What we need is “continuity of care,” explains Thompson, and that’s exactly what organizations like […]

How Spouses Can Talk About Grief After a Child Dies

Posted on January 4, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with An Hooghe about loss and the relationship with spouses after a child dies. An is a clinical psychologist who does research on bereaved parents who have lost a child. This research includes how the parents cope and how they talk to each other afterwards. An is particularly focused on better understanding why parents don’t talk to each other about their grief, which is something An believes needs to be explored more. In the video below, An explains why some parents don’t want to talk about their grief, […]

Lalie Gomez: Organ and Tissue Donation

Posted on January 2, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

During the 2015 Association of Death Education and Counseling conference, Open to Hope’s Dr. Gloria Horsley interviewed Lalie Gomez—a woman with extensive experience in organ and tissue donation. Both Gomez’s mother and daughter were donors. “In 2003, my daughter passed away in a motorcycle accident and at the time we had never discussed organ donation.” However, when she was approached by hospital staff after her daughter was declared dead and asked about organ donation, “My immediate response was yes,” she recalls. Gomez’s daughter saved five lives. “My mom passed away in 2008,” she shares. “She was also killed in an […]