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Charlotte Manges: Prenatal Loss

Posted on October 29, 2017 - by Heidi Horsley

Charlotte Manges was an OB maternity nurse for 20 years, in charge of the pregnancy loss program where mothers were cared for in instances where babies did not survive. Today, she works with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep and A Walk to Remember. Many of these mothers experienced stillborns and/or premature births. “I felt these mothers and dads were being shortchanged,” she explains. Too often, stillborns and babies who die shortly after birth are seen as specimens to be sent to a lab or are whisked away to the morgue. There were times a mother-to-be would come in […]

Grieving for a Loved One I Never Knew

Posted on October 28, 2017 - by Jennifer Stern

I must admit I find beautiful and limitless potential in the notion of grieving for loved ones that we did not have the opportunity to know. If given the choice, which we are not, of course we would choose to actually love in this life, real time, face to face. Unfortunately this is not always an option. But this truth does not have to prevent or limit us from loving or feeling loved. My father died one month before my twin brother and I were born. I did not know him. Yet, I do. I know that he was tall, handsome, […]

Dr. Anasuya Tegathesan: Grieving and the Hindu Culture

Posted on October 25, 2017 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Gloria Horsley spoke with Dr. Anasuya Tegathesan during the Association for Death Education and Counseling 2015 conference about the many grieving rituals in Hindu culture. Dr. Tegathesan is a Senior Lecturer at the Hope University of Malaysia, a prominent researcher and is happy to share her culture’s traditions with Open to Hope. One of the most common Hindu traditions is to add a type of leaf, similar to basil leaves, to water, then share the water amongst everyone after prayers and/or certain holidays. It’s also common during ceremonies to honor those who have passed. She explains that Indian […]

Darcy Harris: Social Justice and Grief

Posted on October 18, 2017 - by Heidi Horsley

Dr. Darcy Harris has most recently been focusing on working with issues on social justices and social messages as it relates to grieving, she tells Dr. Heidi Horsley during the Association for Death Education and Counseling 2015 conference. Working with a grief and death studies program in London, Ontario, she splits her time between this work and continuing to serve as a therapist. She’s noticed a number of recurring themes arising within her clients and students alike, such as, “Am I normal?” Many times, people in grief feel like they need to constrict and change how they appear to be […]

Nancy Gershman: Healing Through the Arts

Posted on October 16, 2017 - by Nancy Gershman, LMSW

Nancy Gershman recently spent two months in Russia, and was surprised that this “Motherland of Suffering” could have so many lessons about hope. She shared her experience with Dr. Gloria Horsley at the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference. She was teaching master’s students in a psychology program how to visualize a new memory designed to overwrite distressing memories. Students were asked to bring in photos of a pet or person who they were grieving. One sexologist had lost a horse, and was so sure he had died a dignified death because “he didn’t bother anybody.” Quietly passing […]

Hope in a Jar, a Loving Gift for the Bereaved

Posted on October 16, 2017 - by Harriet Hodgson

What should you say to a grieving friend? What shouldn’t you say? Finding the right words may be so hard that you decide to send a sympathy card. “Well, that’s done,” you mutter to yourself. Later, though, you may wish you had talked to your friend face-to-face. Of course, this isn’t always possible. Instead of sending sympathy cards, I send bereaved friends a grief affirmation book I wrote several years ago. The gift is always welcome. One friend wrote such a beautiful thank-you note that I cried. In addition to writing grief recovery books, I give talks about affirmation […]

Wendy Lichtenthal: Helping Parents After the Loss of a Child

Posted on October 13, 2017 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Wendy Lichtenthal is a researcher at the Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City, and many of her interests focus on grieving. She spoke with Dr. Gloria Horsley during the Association for Death Education and Counseling 2015 conference about how parents can heal after losing a child. “We are doing an intervention development study… focusing on finding meaning after the loss of a child,” she explains. An almost impossible task is finding meaning in your own life as well as the life of your child, she says. Meaning Center Grief Therapy is currently being tested with feedback […]

Navigating Grief Through the Holidays

Posted on October 11, 2017 - by Elizabeth Horwin

As we approach the holiday season, many of us are looking forward to spending time with family and friends, celebrations, traditions and expectations of things to come. Throughout our lives, expectations of things to come are based on past experiences. This article is not for those looking forward to the holiday season, but for those who are dreading this time of the year. This article is for those of us who have experienced a significant loss of a loved one, of a relationship through death, through divorce, through any change in our lives that now requires us to live […]

Carlos Blessing: Grief and Diversity in Nicaragua

Posted on October 11, 2017 - by Gloria Horsley

Carlos Blessing traveled from Nicaragua to attend the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference, where he spoke with Dr. Gloria Horsley about men and grieving. “We live in a very machismo culture,” he explains. “Men take care of everything.” The desire to look strong and seemingly emotionless is steeped deep into Nicaraguan culture, and Latin American culture in general. In Nicaragua, the men are in charge of all the logistics of a death, from planning the funeral to taking care of the paperwork, which keeps them busy and allows little time for grieving even if they felt comfortable […]

The Bitter Taste of Grief: Art and Healing

Posted on October 10, 2017 - by Katherine Relf-Canas

“Take the bitter taste of this night and move on…” This evening, I read that phrase in a New York Times article “Mexico Earthquake, Strongest in a Century, Kills Dozens.” The reporter had spoken with Mexico City earthquake survivor, Alberto Briseño, who managed to share words of hopeful resignation amidst the chaos. “Moving on,” Briseño said, “it’s what Mexicans do so well.” By a strange conjunction of events, the day of this historic earthquake, September 8, 2017, was already marked on my calendar. Weeks ago, I’d written “Rocky Behr’s estate sale” there. I’d wanted to go to the estate sale, which was happening […]