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Coping With the Loss of a Teen by Suicide

Posted on January 10, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Carolyn Zahnow about The Shore Grief Center and tips she has to find healing after suicide loss. Carolyn lost her son, Cameron, in 2005 when he was 18 years old.  In the video below, Carolyn shares advice on how to cope with this experience if you’re grieving after having lost your teenage child to suicide. Here are some key takeaways from the video: The first year is awful, Carolyn says, and describes it as being in a fog. Carolyn first recommends going to a grief support group. […]

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What’s On Your Brave-Making List?

Posted on January 10, 2018 - by Marlys Johnson

My husband and I met at his family reunion. His sister (my best friend) invited me for a weekend of baseball playing and river dunkings and campfire sitting on an Oregon-green campground. I didn’t know my friend had a fourth brother. Gary. Fast forward several years: Gary and I drove away from the annual campout a day early. He had awakened with a low-grade fever and flu-like symptoms which, if you’ve been on chemo and have tubes protruding unnaturally from your body, usually means an infection. We were experts at this. I packed the car, got my husband settled comfortably […]

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Facing Mortality: Interview with Isabel Stenzel Byrnes

Posted on January 8, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Isabel Stenzel Byrnes about living with an illness and learning how to find hope and find a balance. Isabel was born with cystic fibrosis, and she says that her friends with the illness gave her the support and skills needed to live with her disease. However, that support came at a cost for Isabel, as almost every year she lost at least one or two friends to cystic fibrosis. She explains that she got to witness how she would eventually die from her disease, but also become […]

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Be Selfish to Heal More Quickly

Posted on January 8, 2018 - by Catherine McNulty

I didn’t believe that my son would die.  The death of a child is a tragic and horrific event that happens to someone else, not to me.  Until it did.  The grieving process sucked the very life out of me.  My grief strained me emotionally as I experienced a roller-coaster of emotions like anger, depression, guilt, sadness and confusion.  The grief process drained me physically as I realized that the energy I was accustomed to having each day had vanished with my son and was no longer available. I remember telling myself that I should get over being so sad […]

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Supporting Families Through Grief Beyond the Hospital

Posted on January 6, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

A labor and delivery registered nurse (RN), Chamel Thompson also works with Emerging Beyond, an organization that supports people after they’ve lost a loved one. Thompson recently spoke with Dr. Gloria Horsley at the Association of Death Education and Counseling conference in San Antonio, Texas about her work and what Emerging Beyond offers to those in grief. Generally, Thompson has found that being there and supporting those during their bereavement period is critical, but it’s often impossible to stay with them as long as necessary. What we need is “continuity of care,” explains Thompson, and that’s exactly what organizations like […]

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How Spouses Can Talk About Grief After a Child Dies

Posted on January 4, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with An Hooghe about loss and the relationship with spouses after a child dies. An is a clinical psychologist who does research on bereaved parents who have lost a child. This research includes how the parents cope and how they talk to each other afterwards. An is particularly focused on better understanding why parents don’t talk to each other about their grief, which is something An believes needs to be explored more. In the video below, An explains why some parents don’t want to talk about their grief, […]

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Lalie Gomez: Organ and Tissue Donation

Posted on January 2, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

During the 2015 Association of Death Education and Counseling conference, Open to Hope’s Dr. Gloria Horsley interviewed Lalie Gomez—a woman with extensive experience in organ and tissue donation. Both Gomez’s mother and daughter were donors. “In 2003, my daughter passed away in a motorcycle accident and at the time we had never discussed organ donation.” However, when she was approached by hospital staff after her daughter was declared dead and asked about organ donation, “My immediate response was yes,” she recalls. Gomez’s daughter saved five lives. “My mom passed away in 2008,” she shares. “She was also killed in an […]

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Helping Others After Loss

Posted on January 2, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Dr Janet McCord about helping others after loss. Janet is a professor in Thanatology. In the video below she shared with me the programs at Marian University and what they offer those who are interested in helping others through grief and loss. Here are some key takeaways from the video: Janet offers a Masters of Science degree in Thanatology, which is the study of death, dying, loss, and bereavement. Thanatology doesn’t technically include non-death loss, but in Janet’s program it is included as well. Hospices are mandated […]

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How Long Should Grief Last?

Posted on December 31, 2017 - by Bob Baugher

A man whose wife of 35 years died 12 months ago does not suddenly walk out his front door today and say, “Okay, I’ve resolved that issue.” Parents whose 4-year-old daughter drowned in a swimming pool do not announce five years later, “We’ve accepted our daughter’s death. It’s okay.” Three weeks after the best friend of a 14-year-old is shot and killed at her high school, the teenager is not likely to say, “I’m healing.” Yet, while a growing number of researchers on loss and bereavement question the use of such words as “acceptance,” “healing,” “recovery,” and “closure,” the media […]

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Do Funerals Matter?

Posted on December 27, 2017 - by Gloria Horsley

The author of the book Do Funerals Matter?, Bill Hoy, talked with Dr. Gloria Horsley during the 2015 Association of Death Education and Counseling conference. “Throughout the world and throughout history, we keep doing a handful of things,” Hoy explains. He’s identified five “anchors” that are often found in funeral rituals throughout time and all around the globe. Rituals are very common, and are a great means of expression when words aren’t enough. Doing so with anchors is a common human experience, including: Using symbols from caskets to flowers, gathering people, a means of walking through the loss (ritual action) […]

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