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September 11th – 16 Years of Grief

Posted on September 11, 2017 - by Heidi Horsley

Sixteen years ago, our resilience as a country was tested when nearly 3,000 people were killed in the Sept. 11th terrorist attacks.  We have come a long way since then, and I have watched as NYC has rebuilt, and bereaved families have once again found hope. I was honored to spend ten years with 9/11 firefighter families, taking the grief journey with them.  Their grief came in waves, often knocking them down when they least expected it.  But these families kept going, and they leaned on, and supported other 9/11 families, much as TAPS families do.  It’s been 16 years, […]

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Death and Dying: Interview with Brian Barry MA

Posted on September 10, 2017 - by Heidi Horsley

At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Brian Barry, who teaches death and dying at RIT in Rochester. Brian began to explore the field of death and dying after the passing of his mother, and he has been doing it for the past 35 years. When Barry’s mother passed away, he started to discover things about death and dying that he hadn’t noticed before. He goes into more detail about this in the video below. Here are some key highlights from the video: In a family, people have different roles which are difficult to […]

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Antonio Sausys: Healing the Body, Mind and Spirit

Posted on September 8, 2017 - by Heidi Horsley

During the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference, Dr. Heidi Horsley spoke with Antonio Sausys from Uruguay. Sausys operates a program that integrates yoga techniques and therapies that combine the mind, body and spirit “in order to help grievers go through the difficult process.” Contrary to popular belief, grief is not purely emotional—or even largely emotional at times. “It has so many important and massive involvements of the body,” he explains. Helping people sleep better, return to normalized eating habits and handle physical pain that often gathers in the chest area after a loss is Sausys’ specialty. The […]

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A Grandmother’s Pain of Infant Loss

Posted on September 6, 2017 - by Catherine McNulty

As part of my connection to Empty Cradle, an organization that supports pregnancy and infant loss in the San Diego area, I spend time facilitating support groups for those who are grieving the loss of their child.  When I joined the organization as a facilitator, my goal was to use my five years of experience of grief, loss, and recovery to help support others.  I know in my heart that my contribution has significant meaning to those who are suffering but I am also amazed that each time I attend, I walk away feeling as though I’ve been given the […]

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The Alzheimer’s Experience, Part I: ‘Which Island is This?’

Posted on September 5, 2017 - by Charles Patterson

  Henry Van Winkle came out of the men’s room and sat down in front of his-half empty glass of beer at the small table nearest the promenade. The distinguished look of his full head of gray hair and neatly trimmed gray beard was not diminished by his wildly-colored floral shirt. “Boy, that was a big place,” he thought as he took another sip, “. . . but come to think of it, this is an airport . . . restrooms are usually big in airports. I wonder which one?” He noticed his loose flowered shirt and the floral lei […]

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The Alzheimer’s Experience, Part II: ‘He Was Such a Strong, Proud Man’

Posted on September 5, 2017 - by Charles Patterson

“Henry hasn’t been that bad,” Mrs Van Winkle reported to Dr Miller. “The only big problem is he wakes up at night and thinks it’s morning. Then he wakes me up to fix breakfast, and I can’t get back to sleep. I can’t understand why he thinks it’s morning when it’s still dark.” “I’ll prescribe a sleeping pill for him and see you both in a week to see how it works.” Next visit she came in alone, in tears. “The sleeping pill worked fine,” she sobbed, “but now he wets the bed.” “That only means the pill’s too strong. […]

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Grieving May Be Lonely (But it Doesn’t Have to Be)

Posted on September 2, 2017 - by Carolyn Coarsey

Thirty years ago, while completing my doctoral work in preparation for the career I have today, I was reminded of the difference that one good friend can make to anyone who is grieving.  I was in my hometown visiting my oldest sister when a couple dropped in to visit her and my brother-in-law.  I was introduced to them both before my brother-in-law and the male member of the couple went outside to tinker with a car engine problem in the garage. I was somewhat caught off guard when my sister’s friend I’ll call Judy said to me, “Your sister has […]

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Let’s Talk About ‘Closure’

Posted on August 29, 2017 - by Greg Adams

Let’s talk about “closure,” that thing we search for but never fully find after someone dies. We really hope to find it, and the need for it is deeply felt. We go to the funeral and put up the grave marker to find it. We clean out the room, give away some of the clothes, perhaps even take off the ring for a while. Reporters ask grieving people about whether or not they’ve found it, and if not, what needs to be done to allow it to be found. How did we learn that “closure” was the goal? It seems […]

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Coping With the Next Loss Differently: Interview with Dr. William Buckley

Posted on August 28, 2017 - by Gloria Horsley

At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Dr. William (Bill) Buckley about how people can cope with a loss in a different manner if they do not feel like they coped well with a previous loss. Many families have already gone through a loss, and with that loss they carry a range of bad feelings about the experience they went through. In anticipation of future losses, Bill explains that families want to know how they can do better. Hear his advice in the video below. Here are some key takeaways from the video: Many […]

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After Loss: Do We Ever Return to ‘Normal’?

Posted on August 28, 2017 - by Mike Russell

    Often during the grief journey, I wondered if a normal life could be obtained again.  Of course, there is a big assumption here that I had a normal life to begin with.  So, considering that we all come from skewed visions of what normal is, my definition was being married, having kids, working at one job my whole life and rocking in the chair on the porch next to the one that I married when I was 21.  Okay, it does seem a little Beaver Cleaver.  But really, normal is something that we all come at from different […]

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