At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Dr. William (Bill) Buckley about how people can cope with a loss in a different manner if they do not feel like they coped well with a previous loss.

Many families have already gone through a loss, and with that loss they carry a range of bad feelings about the experience they went through.

In anticipation of future losses, Bill explains that families want to know how they can do better. Hear his advice in the video below.

Here are some key takeaways from the video:

  • Many people have memories of past losses that lead them to feel shame, guilt, disappointment, and/or anger. As a result, these people say to themselves: “I want to do the next loss differently.”
  • Some of the things that they can do to make the next loss go differently involve things like anticipating depression, anticipating the burden that will be placed on caregivers, anticipating how to manage pain better, and so on.
  • Bill says there is a lot of data showing people have negative feelings towards a previous loss, as well as a lot of data to show how these people can be helped when going through their next loss.
  • Bill recently published a book that looks at this data and offers suggestions. The book is called “Taking Sides: Clashing Views in Death and Dying.”
  • The book raises 18 pro and con questions, such as: “Does depression make end of life decisions untrustworthy?”
  • Bill’s book can be purchased here on

For more video interviews, please see the Open To Hope YouTube channel.

Gloria Horsley

Dr. Gloria Horsley is an internationally known grief expert, psychotherapist, and bereaved parent. She started "Open to Hope" to help the millions in the world with grief. She is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Clinical Nurse Specialist, and has worked in the field of family therapy for over 20 years. Dr. Horsley hosts the syndicated internet radio show, The Grief Blog which is one of the top ranked shows on Health Voice America. She serves the Compassionate Friends in a number of roles including as a Board of Directors, chapter leader, workshop facilitator, and frequently serves as media spokesperson. Dr. Horsley is often called on to present seminars throughout the country. She has made appearances on numerous television and radio programs including "The Today Show," "Montel Williams," and "Sallie Jessie Raphael." In addition, she has authored a number of articles and written several books including Teen Grief Relief with Dr. Heidi Horlsey, and The In-Law Survival Guide.

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