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Land of the Ill

Posted on June 24, 2017 - by Molly Gandour

Recently, my friend’s mom was dying. I had no idea what to say or do. Because I’ve been through it all — the hospital waiting rooms, diagnosis, ICU, oxygen machine, the relapses — I’d like to think I’d know exact right quip or quote. My friend would call and explain the situation: fluid behind his mom’s heart, repeated infections, a respirator. All signs pointed to a death process, yet I kept wanting to tell him she’d be okay, there’d be a miracle, it would all work out. I’d get off the phone, disappointed in myself. I felt I was failing. […]

The Myth of the 5 Stages of Grief

Posted on June 24, 2017 - by Mary Joye

As a mental-health counselor and a sixty-something-year-old human being, I have found that you cannot fit grief into a neat list of stages on some linear continuum. The so-called five stages of grief actually are a myth. Grief doesn’t come in stages, but in cycles. These cycles may come in waves like a gently rolling incoming tide of memories, or like a consuming tsunami of pain that can’t be stopped. And there are way more than five stages and phases of grief. There are infinite ways grief comes and goes. No one’s pain can fit neatly into a check list. […]

possible from new writer, Mike Russell

Posted on June 22, 2017 - by Neil Chethik

The Three Points When life is framed within the confines of grief, it can be limiting in choices for the survivor. I think that the rest of the world thinks that choices are easy, or they want that for you as the survivor. My experience tells me otherwise. While grief is different for everyone, there seems to be commonality in the questions that I hear from people. How do I move forward? How do I survive without my spouse? Why does grief take so long to get over? What does normal look like now? These are just some of […]

What Grief Teaches Us

Posted on June 22, 2017 - by Julie Lange

In the depths of our grief, something new is being born in us. Grief is the dark mother delivering from her womb of sorrow an unfolding version of ourselves. This new version experiences dimensions of emotion that the old version could not. The new version has collapsed and stretched and suffered and learned in ways that leave us changed forever. We emerge from our grief—if we have grieved well—with expanded awareness of what it means to be human. If we have shown ourselves compassion for our own suffering, we will have developed more compassion for others. If we have seized […]

Why Summer is a Bittersweet Time

Posted on June 21, 2017 - by Harriet Hodgson

I’m originally from Long Island, New York. When I was growing up, most of the towns along the shore were boat towns. Residents had small fishing boats, motor boats, and a variety of sailboats. Ever since he was little, my brother was interested in sailing. When he was a teenager, my parents bought him a Sandpiper, a 12 ½-foot sailboat, an ideal size for a beginner. He immersed himself in sailing books, practiced knot-tying, and memorized tacking diagrams. After he mastered the Sandpiper, my parents bought him a Star, a racing sailboat with a keel. It was a sleek, blue […]

Five Signs You May Be Carrying Hidden Grief

Posted on June 13, 2017 - by Julie Lange

When my son Justin died in 1993 at the age of 16, I was emotionally crippled for at least a year, unable to return to my former life in advertising or relate to people in familiar ways. Over time, I reassembled the tattered scraps of my life into a new tapestry, and I took all the time I needed to grieve well. After 10 years, I had created a rich new life, with wonderful friends, meaningful work and a robust spiritual practice. I had met the man who would become my husband and joyfully embraced my new role as […]

The Restlessness of Grief: Taking Back Control

Posted on June 11, 2017 - by Catherine McNulty

It’s early morning and the sun has just come up. I open my eyes and am hit with a wave of grief as I remember that my loved one is gone. My mind begins to remember the events of the last few days and I replay the reality that now is my life again and again. The pain of the memory quickly moves from my mind down to my chest and into my stomach. Memories come flooding into me of the days before the funeral and the seemingly endless days after the funeral. I roll over trying to shift the […]

Finding the Strength You Need

Posted on June 8, 2017 - by Harriet Hodgson

The death of a loved one is such a shock to the body and mind, you may wonder if you’re going crazy. You aren’t going crazy; you are grieving. In 2007, after four family members died in succession, I wondered if I were going crazy. More worrisome, I wondered if I could survive such sorrow. Where would I find the strength? Would I ever be happy again? Recovering from multiple losses takes longer than recovering from one. Four successive losses brought me to my knees. My elder daughter, (mother of my twin grandchildren), died from the injuries she received in […]

The Stages of Grief, according to Winnie the Pooh

Posted on June 6, 2017 - by Mitch Carmody

Mitch Carmody of Heartlight Studios spoke with Dr. Heidi Horsley during the 2015 Association of Death Education and Counseling 2015 about the death of a child. He lost his own son when his child was just nine, and he says the biggest help in addressing your grief is not to forget. It’s common in American society to want to put things behind us, but the first year of grief is just the beginning. Grief can often act like an infant, and it can take just as long as a person to mature. In the first year, grief is an infant […]

Spring: Memories of Love, a Chance for New Growth

Posted on June 5, 2017 - by Tom Hallman

“You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming.” ― Pablo Neruda Spring rain brings May flowers This was my partner Kim’s favorite time of year. I watch her child-like actions as the flowers bloom and the trees bud. She knew the names of them all, closing her eyes while taking a deep breath, naming each fragrance as she exhaled again, like a little one in a candy store. She was in awe and amazement as if it were her first time experiencing spring’s natural wonders. Quite the Gardener she was The flower beds tended […]