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Grief of Pregnancy Loss Often Dismissed

Posted on January 18, 2017 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

Pregnancy loss and infertility are the topics on this episode of The Grief Relief Show. It’s a loss that can be disenfranchising—especially when a miscarriage happens early in a pregnancy. Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley interview Chandrama Anderson, MFT, author of No U-Turn at Mercy Street: A Memoir and Resource Guide for Grieving Parents. Dr. Heidi Horsley has had two miscarriages and knows how difficult it can be to grieve. Many people don’t even know you’ve had a miscarriage, and Dr. Horsley points out that you’re not just losing the pregnancy, but you’re losing the future. Others such as fathers […]

Own Your Winter Grief

Posted on January 11, 2017 - by John Pete

Something many of us learn through the course of years, losses and grief is that it’s far better to take control and OWN YOUR WINTER GRIEF, rather than to allow your winters own you. The seasons change & winters come (and go) in the midst of grief, ready or not. And long winters days and nights can be additionally difficult for those in cold climates. But planning ahead can greatly help one cope with the seasonal changes. This is true at other times and season, too. As a survivor of many of my own losses, I am a firm believer […]

Birthdays … Beautiful and Bittersweet

Posted on January 11, 2017 - by Judy Lipson

I turned 60 in October, the day filled with a range of emotions. Etched in my brain and soul was the last time I saw my sister Jane, to celebrate my 25th birthday. For 35 years, my birthday held a cloud, never the joy of celebrating me on my birthday, always the pain of the loss of my cherished sister and nine years later, the loss of my beloved sister Margie. The tragedies and challenges of my life undeniably altered who I am, are part of me, and at 60, I have persevered, embracing the sum total of it all. […]

‘Do You Cook for Yourself?’: How to Remember a Loving Husband

Posted on January 7, 2017 - by Vivian Clecak

“Do you cook for yourself?” a new acquaintance asks me. I smile to myself. She has no idea. She has opened the door wide. I begin: “No, I do not cook. My husband did everything with joy and skill for the entire time of our marriage.” I have one subject that fills my soul: the loss of my husband two-plus years ago. But I have to be careful to make sure I catch the opening. If the listener zones out or judges me as bragging or fabricating, I cannot begin the story. The telling requires a soft landing, a space […]

Healing Through Creativity

Posted on January 7, 2017 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley interview Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma, in episode 47 of The Open to Hope Foundation series. Additionally, they speak with Sharon Strouse, a bereaved parent who’s the author of Artful Grief: A Diary of Healing and a board certified art therapist. People can get stuck in grief, says Dr. van der Kolk, and not because people want to get stuck. Things can get in the way, people feel helpless, secrets can get involved and unresolved issues can bog down the […]

One Mother’s Grief: Embracing ‘Fierce Growth’

Posted on January 6, 2017 - by Cindy Weaver

A lightning bolt ripped through me and froze my being as I listened to the piercing words of my friend. “Your daughter has been in a bike accident. She died.” I felt everything and I felt nothing. The grieving started with a pattern of feeling split wide open, raw, bleeding; then followed moments of nothing and yet constant pressure and pain. I fell to pieces, shattered. I became despondent and detached, staring at ceilings, walls, and floors. I lost my appetite, and wanted to disappear. Her 20 years were not enough. I began to increase my times of meditation and […]

My Second Chapter: Life, Marriage, Family

Posted on January 4, 2017 - by Michelle Jarvie

Many people ask me, What’s it really like being re-married? My widow(er) friends want to know if I’m as happy as I was in my first marriage, if I compare my two husbands, why I’d risk being a widow again, and most importantly, if my new husband is understanding. Can you talk about James with him? Is he jealous? My other, non-widow, friends want to know if I’m happy and if I ever think about James anymore (that is, the friends who aren’t uncomfortable acknowledging his death). If we throw my writing into the conversation: Do you think your articles about James […]

Do Our Loved Ones In Heaven Celebrate With Us? Yes!

Posted on December 31, 2016 - by Christine Duminiak

For those of us who are grieving, holidays and special occasions can be bittersweet and very painful, as we wish our loved ones were right here beside us celebrating too. However, from my spiritual work and own personal experiences, as well as thousands of others I have ministered to since 1998, I have come to learn that our loved ones in Heaven are like angels on our shoulders now. They would never miss an important occasion in our lives, because our special occasions are important to them too! Loved ones will often let us know that they are right there […]

Turning Grief into Good

Posted on December 15, 2016 - by Joan Zlotnick

Four years into widowhood, I’m astounded at how entrenched I’ve become in the grief community. I would have guessed that when my husband died, after twelve years of struggling with dementia, that I would have done everything possible to leave the grief community, having been in it for so long. Caring for a loved one with dementia generates an unusually long and complicated kind of grief. Each new stage of the illness brings with it fresh grief: when you see the first signs, get the diagnosis, lose a little bit more of the person you love each day. Widowhood came to […]

No One Should Grieve Alone

Posted on December 14, 2016 - by Mary Joye

You’re here for self-help. But the best help is in person. Some of you have come here in abject grief, thinking life is unfair. It is unfair, as we all know, but when it is not fair to you, you need someone to help you understand what to do about it. What do you do with all this pain? Share it with a professional. In doing so, you are releasing some of the burden to another who can give you hope and perspective. Albert Einstein once said you cannot solve a problem with the same consciousness that created it. I hung […]