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Healing Tears: No Apologies for Crying

Posted on March 1, 2017 - by Jill Smoot

I remember the first year of our son’s passing. How I vacillated between feeling numb, wooden, dry-eyed, to days when all I could do was cry. So many times I never knew what I might do. I had never been someone who normally cried in front of people, and yet I found myself doing just that. But then, fresh in my grief, nothing was normal. I was on new ground, I had never traveled before, and if there were rules of conduct somewhere, I could not find them. There are no schools to equip you for gut-searing grief. Tears were […]

How to Turn Grief into Positive Action

Posted on February 28, 2017 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley with the Open to Hope Foundation discuss continuing bonds and closure after loss. At 17 years old, Heidi’s brother Scott was killed in a car accident. Everyone told her and her mother that they would “get over it” eventually and find closure. Know that closure isn’t for love accounts—it’s for bank accounts. You can and should get over the suffering, but getting over the loss can feel like erasing someone from your life. Instead, you can transform your grief into actions that can positively change the world. The mother-daughter team created the Open to Hope […]

The Grief of Things: Owning and Letting Go

Posted on February 26, 2017 - by Greg Adams

Let’s acknowledge this obvious fact from the start: people are not things. The house burns down, every item within is lost, but our family survives unhurt. We’ll take that every time. The car is totaled but our loved ones walk away. Eternally grateful as we replace the car. We go into the water and wallet, keys, and phone (!) are lost, but no lives. A near miss and a story with a good ending. People are not things and they matter more than (any) things. But things do matter. I’m reminded how much things matter, and what a challenge that […]

Loneliness, Being Alone, Lonesome

Posted on February 24, 2017 - by Nina Impala

I am so sorry for your loss. There is one feeling that I don’t see discussed much and that is the loneliness that comes with grief. There is a feeling in the heart that makes us feel like we are walking in this world totally alone. It doesn’t matter who we are with. Whether it is a concert, an intimate party with friends, sports events or even the simplest of things like grocery shopping, running errands on a Saturday. Loneliness, being alone and lonesome can even be exhausting. Waking up every day after the death of a loved one is […]

The Downstairs Thief

Posted on February 19, 2017 - by Elizabeth Brady

I had a vivid dream shortly after Mack, our son, died. I walked into our house through the front door and immediately realized that we had been robbed. I made my way tentatively through each familiar room surveying overturned furniture, shattered lamps. I noted the computers were taken, and the silver. But something inside assured me that they didn’t make it upstairs. On New Year’s Eve 2012, we cancelled our plans to meet another family at the First Night celebrations because Mack had what we thought was the flu and we were looking forward to a quiet evening by the […]

You Can’t Sleep With a Butterfly

Posted on February 17, 2017 - by Bernie Siegel

Several years ago, one of the cancer patients I counseled told me she was going to the Hawaiian island of Kauai, where her mother lived, to resolve her difficulties with her mother and die there. She accomplished all that she had hoped for and died there feeling loved, complete and at peace with herself. About 18 months after my patient’s death, my wife Bobbie and I were invited to the island of Kauai to do an outdoor weekend workshop. I was thrilled to go because I love the islands and feeling close to God and the process of creation when […]

The Blessing

Posted on February 14, 2017 - by Cheryl Espinosa-Jones

Not long before Joanne, my wife, died, she told me she expected me to love again. She said it would “not be right to waste all the lessons we’d learned,” and I was “too young” never to love again. When I replied that I couldn’t imagine any love ever being as good as ours, she replied, “maybe it will be better.” She was bedridden by then, disabled by multiple myeloma, and we spent most of our time in her room, talking, cuddling, and receiving visitors. This was after I’d taken a leave from my therapy practice so I had lots […]

10th Anniversary: Tears at Home Depot

Posted on February 14, 2017 - by Harriet Hodgson

The 10th anniversary of my daughter’s death is a few days away. I thought I was prepared for this anniversary, but I wasn’t. Instead, I have burst into tears several times. My daughter, mother of my twin grandchildren, died from the injuries she received in a car crash. Six months later he twins’ father died from the injuries he received in another crash. The court appointed my husband and me as the twins’ guardians. A few days before the anniversary of their mother’s death, the twins were going to celebrate their 25th birthdays, and receive their mother’s legacy. To mark the […]

This Valentine’s Day, Turn Your Loss into Valuing Yourself

Posted on February 11, 2017 - by Mary Joye

You may have been through a gauntlet of grief with your spouse or partner. Then along comes Valentine’s Day and it’s another hurdle. It’s hard to pick yourself up. Reframing this memory of being loved won’t be easy. It takes bravery and fortitude to find gratitude. The loss of that perfect someone you loved and still love may linger. You may or may not find someone again, but you can get past the pain and fearlessly look for love. Even if it is not the romantic kind, love is everywhere. if you are brave enough to you transform your […]

7 Dos and Don’ts to Help Someone Dealing With Loss

Posted on February 8, 2017 - by Maile Proctor

Losing a loved one is a devastating experience and something we would never wish on our best friend or our worst enemy. Unfortunately, loss is an inevitable part of life and something we will all deal with at one time or another. While loss is a common life experience, the healing process is unique to each individual and helping someone through this rough time is certainly not a one-size-fits-all experience. Most of us want to help someone who is grieving but we may not always know the best way to go about it. While the approach will vary based on […]