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What Do the First Five Years Look Like?

Posted on November 29, 2016 - by Laura Diehl

Exactly five years ago today, our daughter, Becca, left this earth. I have been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting, trying to put so many abstract thoughts and feelings into something concrete, like words on a page. How is my life different now, besides the obvious? What is good, what is bad, and what is still just plain ugly? What have I learned that might help those who are on this path behind me? So here are five things I have discovered over the last five years. There are no rules or timelines for grief! My husband, Dave, and […]

Valarie Molaison: Communicating with Children after a Suicide

Posted on November 28, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

How can you talk to children following a suicide? That’s the question Dr. Heidi Horsley tackles with Dr. Valarie Molaison, the clinical director at Supporting Kids, a non-profit based in Delaware. She’s also a licensed psychologist and a specialist in grief and loss. Suicide is a stigmatized loss already. Should children be told the truth about suicide death? It’s something every family can decide for themselves, but know that experts can’t be the ones to tell you yes or no in this case. However, telling the truth is beneficial in most cases. The risks and benefits need to even out. […]

At Thanksgiving, Say Their Names

Posted on November 25, 2016 - by Tom Zuba

This article was first published on Open to Hope in 2010. Thursday will be the 21st Thanksgiving I’ve lived through following the death of my 18-month-old daughter Erin in 1990. The 12th since my wife Trici died in 1999 and the 6th since my 13-year-old son Rory died in 2005. One thing I know for sure is that I can’t expect anyone to mention the name(s) of the people I love who have died. Expecting someone to say their names only brings me disappointment and pain because there is a good chance that the day will pass with no one […]

Another Thanksgiving, Another Grief Acceptance Step

Posted on November 22, 2016 - by Harriet Hodgson

My elder daughter, Helen, was born on Thanksgiving day. She died in 2007 from the injuries she received in a car crash. “Blunt Force Trauma” was the official cause of death, words no parent wants to hear. I find it odd that Helen was born on the 23rd of the month (November), and died on the 23rd of February. For me, Thanksgiving is a happy-sad time, a happy day because I’m with family, a sad day because of the empty chair at the table. Since I don’t know if I’ll fall apart emotionally or hold myself together, I have to […]

Handling the Holidays After the Death of a Spouse

Posted on November 22, 2016 - by Beverly Chantalle McManus

The holidays are often the most difficult time of the year for a grieving spouse. Dr. Heidi Horsley talks with Beverly McManus about how to deal with the holidays following such a tragic loss in this special Open to Hope webinar. McManus serves on the board of directors for the foundation and lost her husband when he was 43 years old. For the past seven years, she’s been a bereavement facilitator. A popular speaker and writer on the topic of hope and loss, McManus is also a marketing executive. She lives in San Francisco with her two daughters. Knowing what […]

Using the Expressive Arts for Children’s Grieving

Posted on November 21, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

Dr. Heidi Horsley sits down with Khris Ford, the founder of My Healing Place, to talk about the use of expressive arts to help children in the grief process. She founded the non-profit in Austin, Texas, when she realized there was a disparity that desperately needed filling. My Healing Place works with children ages three through eighteen who are facing a loss. Significant and traumatic losses are her specialty, and she works in both group settings and individually. “We use art, we use music, we use movement, we use sound,” she says. These can all help children draw from other […]

‘Light Points’: Recognizing and Sharing Your Miracle Moments

Posted on November 17, 2016 - by Bunny Bennett

Light points are those times when something or someone “lights” our path in life. We often experience these points when we are in a dark place and desperately need to be lifted up. It is when we realize that there are occurrences that may not be fully understood that are meant solely for our good. It is when we are reminded that there is a Creator who wishes to let us know that we are very loved and treasured. It could be those moments when a loved one expresses his or her love exactly how and when we need it […]

Grief’s Linking Objects: The Winnowing Process

Posted on November 12, 2016 - by Harriet Hodgson

Linking objects–things that belonged to a deceased loved one–are reminders of experiences and feelings. A bereaved son may wear his father’s watch, for example, and a bereaved daughter may use her mother’s dishes. At holiday time I put mother’s cut glass water decanter on the dinner table, a reminder of her love, guidance, and all the wonderful meals she made. Objects like these are sources of comfort. Kayla Waldschmidt details the values of linking objects in her article, “Memory Tokens and Linking Objects,” posted on the Grief Resource Center website. She thinks linking objects are powerful “items that keep you connected […]

Lunch Date with Resilience: Sisu After Pregnancy Loss

Posted on November 8, 2016 - by Michelle Jarvie

“I like the concept of Sisu: perseverance, guts, determination. But I also think that’s what gets me in trouble.” With family hailing from Finland, Sisu is a common household word, encouraging bravery and resilience. But for my new friend, Heather, it’s extra pressure that makes her feel like she should be able to “do it all on my own.” When she lost her first baby at 20 weeks, after years of dealing with the agony of infertility, confidence was at an all-time low. Heather and her husband started trying to have kids in 2009, and ended up spending multiple […]

Christmas Grief

Posted on November 1, 2016 - by Lo Anne Mayer

Even though our daughter, Cyndi, died over 11 years ago, the season of Christmas is still the hardest time for me. Remembering our little girl opening presents and playing with her five siblings as a child still sears my mind, and constricts my heart. My husband and I were blessed with six children in 12 years of marriage. We were awash with Christmas wishes and presents when the children were young. As they grew older, married, and moved to other areas, they still came to our house to celebrate the holidays — until 2005. That was Cyndi’s last Christmas. She […]