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Lunch Date with Resilience: Not Everything Happens ‘For a Reason’

Posted on August 17, 2016 - by Michelle Jarvie

“You can go two ways when you have a tragedy,” she began as she unrolled her white, pressed napkin. “You can be the victim, or you can change your story.” On July 6, 2016, I was honored to have lunch and conversation about loss, the lasting impact of fatal crashes, mindsets, and motherhood with a woman who exudes optimism and honesty. Sometimes, it seems those two traits don’t often go together, as harsh realities make it difficult to live with a glass-half-full mentality. Now in her late-thirties with four children (one adopted), my new friend, Nicole Roufs, finds healing […]

Ground Hog Days: How it Really Feels to Lose a Child

Posted on August 17, 2016 - by Neal Raisman

The first weeks and months were like the movie Groundhog Day. I began each day the same way. Waking. Feeling a free floating anger. Seeing his body on the floor and shuddering in the reality of his death. Struggling to push myself out of bed. Not wanting to get up. The bed and sleep being the only place and time when I could momentarily forget reality. Sleep became a blessing. A time when the horror of that day did not repeat itself endlessly like a looped bit of video. Finally shoving myself to get up. Get dressed. Trying to remember […]

Cristina Flores: Finding Hope After Loss (En espanol)

Posted on August 16, 2016 - by John Rampton

Cristina Flores trabaja con Bo’s Place y es entrevistada por John Rampton de Open to Hope Foundation durante la conferencia de National Alliance for Grieving Children. Flores es la coordinadora de los grupos bilingües en Bo’s Place, un lugar de duelo que le ayuda a los niños, adultos y familiares que han sufrido una perdida en su familia. La mayoría de la gente que utiliza los servicios de esta organización son del área de Houston y hablan español, sin embargo estos no son requisitos. La muerte para los niños es una de las cosas más trágicas que puede ocurrir. Este […]

Children Grieve Differently Than Adults

Posted on August 15, 2016 - by Linda Goldman

Dr. Heidi Horsley interviews Linda Goldman, a fellow in thanatology and the author of several books focusing on grief. Specializing in grieving children, Goldman has received an award from the Association from Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) for her incredible research and passion in the field. What are the most common signs of grieving children? Children can grieve a little differently than adults, but all kids need to know what’s common. Adults need to know this, too! Addressing anxiety is critical. Children will tell their story over and over again. They have an ongoing relationship with the person they love. […]

Jenny Wheeler: Reassuring Grieving Teens

Posted on August 14, 2016 - by Karla Wheeler

Author Jenny Wheeler talks about losing her dad when she was a teenager. She wrote Weird is Normal When Teenagers Grieve to help other teenagers struggling with their own losses. She encourages teens and anyone who’s experienced a loss to connect with the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC), which hosts an annual conference. Wheeler was a speaker at the 2011 event and has found that connecting with others, especially when you’re a teen, can be a great tool for healing. Empathy is something everyone needs, but as a teen it can be tough to reach out. She lost […]

Lynne Ann DeSpelder: The Last Dance

Posted on August 13, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

The Director of the Open to Hope Foundation, Dr. Heidi Horsley, interviews author Lynne Anne DeSpelder. A counselor and psychology professor, DeSpelder wrote The Last Dance: Encountering Death and Dying after years of studying the bereavement field. The book is now in its eighth edition. “The Last Dance” came from the idea that the warrior goes to the mountain to dance his last dance before death. At the core of the book, DeSpelder explores attitudes surrounding death, including language. How do children process death, and how do adults handle it? The book also tackles terminal illnesses and survivors. The experience […]

Finding Hope Among the Global Losses

Posted on August 11, 2016 - by Marguerite OConnor

We have navigated many public losses, from Paris to Orlando to Nice. Some people are very empathetic and feel these losses deeply. Even though they may not have personally known those who died or were injured, they feel the Oneness that we are all connected, that individual choices and experiences affect all of us. For many, it is easier to feel solidarity with the victims, not the perpetrators or their families, but loss is loss and we are, generally speaking, fairly compassionate, as well as resilient. Some people note these tragedies and continue on, thinking they are relatively unchanged or […]

Stacey Smyczynski: Children and Grief Groups

Posted on August 10, 2016 - by Gloria Horsley

Stacey Smyczynski of the Children’s Grief Center of the Great Lakes Bay Region talks with Dr. Gloria Horsley about using peer to peer support. Kids ages 5-18 help one another at this center. The adults also have their own support groups to attend when the children meet. There are opening and closing circles where talking and sharing take place, but a lot of the grief work happens in play. There are plays, art, dress up, and more ways children can express themselves. Especially with younger kids, talking isn’t always the best way to heal. Play is a child’s work, and […]

Brooke Griese: Judi’s House

Posted on August 9, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

During the National Alliance for Grieving Children conference, Dr. Heidi Horsley talks with Brooke Griese of Judi’s House. As the Executive Director, she works with grieving children and families in Colorado. She co-founded the organization with her husband in 2002 in memory of his mother, Judi, who died of breast cancer when he was young. Children heal differently from adults, and don’t always have the best support systems. They need to connect with other kids, while having caring adults available on the sidelines. Integrating loss into your life in a meaningful way is a challenge no matter what your age. […]

Revolutionary Act: Choosing Love When Death is All Around

Posted on August 8, 2016 - by Cheryl Espinosa-Jones

The past few months, I’ve been struck dumb, collapsed by the weight of what Francis Weller calls the “sorrows of the world.” The best I could do most of the time was share stories other people were writing. I managed a brief comment on Good Grief, my radio show, after 49 people were killed at the Pulse club in Orlando and then silence captured me. What could I say to the unfolding of too many events to absorb, all of them pointing to the tremendous capacity of human beings to go cold and violent? After the Pulse massacre, I flashed […]