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Dark World Community: Grievers Helping One Another

Posted on April 14, 2016 - by Mark Liebenow

When death comes, we leave the world of light behind and enter a world of shadows. Colors mute to gray. Sounds are all in the distance. Even if it’s sunny and in the eighties, the air feels cold and we wear a jacket. Food tastes like cardboard, so we don’t eat. Everything we pick up is rough to the touch. Our world shifts into slow gear. When my wife died suddenly, the world I had known went dark. The shock of what had happened was so unlike anything I had experienced before that my sensory awareness of the world went […]

I Still Grieve my Father’s Silence

Posted on April 13, 2016 - by Larry Patten

My wife pointed to a curved red slash on my leg. “Where’d you get those scrapes?” “Maybe from the dog when we played a couple of hours ago?” Our dog has raggedy claws and abundant enthusiasm. Two cats also own us and one, Milo, randomly treats our flesh like a pincushion. An errant branch could slap my cheek when I’m biking or hiking. I cook, using sharp objects and boiling liquids. Life can be dangerous in the suburbs. I always enjoy the scene in 1975’s Jaws where Richard Dreyfuss and Robert Shaw compared scars while hunting Hollywood’s most famous shark. […]

Examining our Beliefs about Life and Death

Posted on April 12, 2016 - by Elizabeth Horwin

This is the first of four articles based on concepts, research and experiences shared in, LOVE NEVER DIES by Elizabeth Horwin. WHAT IS LIFE? It seems to me that it is a common belief (especially in Western culture) that the human experience begins with Life and ends with Death. That is not my belief because I view the human experience as beginning with the Birth of the physical body and ending with Death of that body. Life Energy, Soul, Spirit—whatever one chooses to call it—exists before Birth and continues after Death. This article will explore this concept by focusing on […]

Helpful vs. Harmful Thoughts

Posted on April 12, 2016 - by Bunny Bennett

In our culture, we tend to be overly self-critical. Sometimes we are so preoccupied, we aren’t even aware of how harmful our thoughts can be to our well-being. We are hard on ourselves when it comes to our weight and appearance, whether we are achieving enough in our workplaces and in our homes, and whether our children are in enough extracurricular activities, and the list goes on! Oftentimes, we feel guilty. Guilty that we didn’t make it to the gym enough, guilty our work obligations got in the way of making it to all of our children’s activities, guilty we […]

Kathleen Gilbert and Gloria Horsley: How Family Members Grieve Differently

Posted on April 9, 2016 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Gloria Horsley of the Open to Hope Foundation interviews Kathleen Gilbert, an associate professor at Indiana University. How do different family members grieve? According to Gilbert, there’s differential grieving. After a loss, people think their grief doesn’t match their loss. Who you are going into the grief is different than who you are now. There are many contributions, such as developmental stages. Just because a child looks like they should know what’s going on doesn’t mean they do. Children may need to be told time and time again what happened—which is aggravating for a grieving parent. Another example are […]

Lisa Dinhofer: Delivering a Death Notification

Posted on April 8, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

Certified thanatologist Lisa Dinhofer talks about the best way to deliver a death notification during an Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) conference. As a death educator, she specializes in very traumatic loss. After years of training, she’s learned a lot about the impact of death notifications. Do it in person whenever possible. Avoid the phone, and always have a partner with you if you can. Look the person in the eye—you’re telling them very important information. If you can’t look them in the eye, they can’t trust you. They’ll want to know the details leading up to the […]

Acceptance or Letting Go?

Posted on April 7, 2016 - by Nina Impala

I pick Acceptance. It makes me cringe if I am in a conversation with someone who is grieving or missing a loved one in any way shape or form and I hear the words, it’s time to let go or you need to let go. I am sure their intentions come from a loving place. There is a time to let go of some things in our lives and grief is not one of them. It is good to let go of people who treat your poorly, it is good to let go of bad habits and it is good […]

Tonia Tanner: Roberta’s House is a Place of Hope and Healing

Posted on April 6, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

Dr. Heidi Horsley talks with Tonia Tanner from . Her first encounter with the organization was a personal one in 2010 when her father passed away. Her family attended the center to help with the grieving process. It was a space where she found hope when she felt entirely lost. She wasn’t sure how to move forward and felt alone. When she became part of the program, she received endless support. It was a place that taught her what grief was, and that it was okay to grieve. There were days when the sadness was palpable, and going to Roberta’s […]

Tesia Henderson: Foster Care, Hope and Resiliency

Posted on April 4, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

Representing The Foster Club at the National Alliance for Grieving Children conference is Tesia Henderson, who talks with Dr. Heidi Horsley about foster care, hope, and resiliency in youth. A lot of youth in foster care have been traumatized and are grieving. It may be the loss of a parent or the loss of a family member, and it’s not always grief from death. Being removed from your home and family can cause death-like grieving, especially in younger children who may not understand the reasons for this massive change. Henderson attended the conference to find out what the Club can […]

Spousal Loss: What Legacy of Loss Are You Passing on to Others?

Posted on March 28, 2016 - by Vicki Panagotacos, PhD FT

The loss of your life partner is especially complex to manage because the two of you functioned as a couple for so long. As a result, you are not only dealing with the loss of your partner, but also the loss of your sense of self that was constructed through your interactions. The question becomes: if you are no longer someone’s spouse or partner, then who are you? Psychotherapist Michael Miller refers to the process of relocating your single identity as intimate terrorism. Your relationship has been blown apart, and you are left to sift through the debris and extract […]