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Stephanie Groepper: Spouse Loss

Posted on February 29, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

Losing a spouse is unexpected, since you see yourself growing old with this person. Dr. Heidi Horsley talks to Stephanie Groepper, a military widow. She’s a psychology student and the founder of Washington Warrior Widows, a non-profit for widows and widowers in Washington State. Groepper’s daughter is seven years old, and was only four months old when her partner died. In the military, it’s the loss of both a spouse and a lifestyle. As part of the military, it can be a sudden loss of your community. You’re given one year to move off base if you live in military […]

Dr. Carla Sofka: Museums as Healing Spaces

Posted on February 28, 2016 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

Museums can be a great site for healing according to Dr. Carla Sofka. A professor at Siena College, she points out that almost everyone has a memory of visiting a museum, and they serve a variety of purposes. They’re a place where learning can be fun. Since she began volunteering at New York museums following 9/11, she’s found that they are also great healing spaces for those in grief. Brimming with information, people of all ages can learn about events that have a big impact on their life. Museums are also a place to go for those who didn’t get […]

Relationship Struggles May Coincide with Grieving

Posted on February 25, 2016 - by Anne Jennings

Relationship with your current partner Losing a family member or friend is stressful on the relationship with your intimate partner. People suffering a profound sense of loss are more vulnerable to relationship conflicts at work and home. Your partner may be uncomfortable with intense, physical sensations and making love at this time. When you desire to rekindle the feelings towards each other arrange the bedroom to reflect what you both want. Make the bedroom a haven for your relationship. Introduce warmth with exotic fabrics, lots of textures and patterns, romantic colours, and artwork. Remove books and reports that relate to […]

The Aftermath of a Suicide

Posted on February 24, 2016 - by Jill Smoot

After the shock , after the gut-wrenching pain, and after so many tears unnumbered are shed, then comes the aftermath, and for some, anger. This anger was not my own, but the feelings of my dear mother-in-law, after the death of Janice, her daughter. Janice was more than just my husband’s sister, she was a close friend. We were only one month apart in age, and had shared a lot of memories together over the years. The feelings I had, and were daily dealing with, were not those of anger but complete incomprehensible understanding. How could Janice end her life […]

Staying Put or Selling the Family Home

Posted on February 22, 2016 - by Anne Jennings

I have worked with many clients who have chosen to move away from their home after the passing of a loved one. The information in this Open to Hope article may help you decide if this is your best path at the moment. Things to consider People suffering profound grief may want to move house, to run away from the events that have taken place and find a new job, to move the kids to a different school to escape. There are two ways to look at the choices we make. One is to make a decision because you desire […]

Twelve Years Later: Love Really Is Both Sides Now

Posted on February 20, 2016 - by Nancy Sharp

February is anniversary month, when loss rises like nausea, climbing and swelling until the day itself, February 21. This is the day my first husband Brett died of a brain tumor, a medulloblastoma. He was witty, green-eyed, and just shy of his fortieth birthday. I was 37, and our twins, well, they were less than three years of age. Out daughter, Rebecca, and son, Casey, did not inherit Brett’s green eyes, but they do share his nose, innate kindness, and love of ATS: All Things Sweet. Ours is a not a recent loss. Brett died twelve years ago. That’s […]

Wearing My Father’s Clothes

Posted on February 18, 2016 - by Greg Adams

Many days since my father’s death, I have worn some piece of his clothing. Often it is just a belt, brown or black. Today it was a blue dress shirt (several from which to choose), a navy blazer, an overcoat, and a wool cap…and the brown belt. I also have pullover sweaters, turtlenecks, mock turtlenecks, a plaid blazer, a brown hat with a brim, and more dress shirts. Lots of blue, red and white which fit the school district in which he worked and also his personal preferences. I’m more of a black, brown and green kind of guy—closer to […]

Suicide Threats Spark Anticipatory Grief

Posted on February 17, 2016 - by Harriet Hodgson

A friend of mine has a suicidal daughter and worries about her constantly. The daughter attempted suicide once, and has threatened it many times. “When I wake up in the morning, I wonder if this will be the day she succeeds,” the mother explained. She has nightmares about her daughter and feels totally helpless. If your loved one is suicidal you may have similar feelings. You may be so worried that you are unaware of your anticipatory grief—a feeling of loss before a dreaded event or death occurs. All you know is that life is different, dark, and bleak. Without […]

Maddi The Therapy Dog

Posted on February 16, 2016 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

Maddi, therapy dog extraordinaire, is part of The Dougy Center in Portland, Oregon. Under Dr. Donna Shuurman, CEO of the center, this is a space for kids, teens, and their families to be surrounded by their peers and plenty of empathy. The Dougy Center is for children ages three through 18, young adults, and their families. It’s a space where nobody tries to “make it all better,” but instead listens, empathizes, and allows everyone to follow their own grief journey. There are many activities and resources to help with healing, including a thriving art therapy program. However, perhaps one of […]

Putting the House Back Together Afterward

Posted on February 15, 2016 - by Anne Jennings

Note: My book, Belongings, seeks to understand the connection bereaved people have with their loved one’s personal belongings. Here is an excerpt. Putting the House Back Together Creatively Take a few deep breaths and use the grounding technique any time you feel tired. Changing your living environment can be daunting, but at the same time getting creative helps to break out of your sorrow. You are strong. Congratulate yourself on creating a clean, fresh home filled with photos of happy people, gifts that recall fun moments, healthy colourful pot plants at the door, and a place where everyone can relax […]