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Accepting What We Cannot Change

Posted on December 18, 2015 - by Donna Miesbach

There is no question about it – accepting the loss of loved one can be one of our most difficult challenges, and yet acceptance is part of the answer we are looking for. As long as we resist what has happened, we cannot move beyond it. It is only when we can accept the change that we are able to move on with our life. This doesn’t happen all at once, but if we are patient, if we are compassionate with ourselves and our need to grieve, eventually – step by cautious step, piece by little piece, we begin to […]

Andy McNiel: Giving Children Space to Grieve

Posted on December 13, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Gloria Horsley connects with Andy McNiel at the National Alliance for Grieving Children conference. Giving children space to grieve after a loss is critical, although many adult caregivers push children to grieve in a way they see fit—which is usually how adults more often heal. Children heal and grieve in bursts and might not be fond of talking. They might communicate via play, sports, music, or by talking in very comfortable surroundings. Don’t assume that a child isn’t grieving just because they’re not talking to you, their parent (or don’t seem to be talking at all!). However, if a […]

Snow Globe of Emotions at Christmas

Posted on December 6, 2015 - by Shannon Harris

Reflecting on where I was last Christmas brings up a snow globe of emotions. Sadness, joy, anger, frustration and even relief swirl all around me. A flurry of feelings from my head down through my heart and into my stomach, then back up to my throat and eventually they escape in the form of tears. Holidays should be a time of spirituality, kindness, family and cheer, shouldn’t they? Why, then, do they bring out the most selfish aspects of people? My snow globe was turned upside down last Christmas in my fourth year of grieving the loss of my son. […]

Practicing the Arts of Tenderness and Gratitude

Posted on December 5, 2015 - by Bunny Bennett

The holiday season is upon us, and I appreciate having a time when we are reminded to give thanks for the blessings and friendships we enjoy. Because of the demands of life, stress, and grief, we may often let days go by without stopping to say two simple words to those people who help us, who have changed our lives, who sacrificed for us, and bless us with friendship. Just two uncomplicated words: thank you! How uplifting it can be to give and receive those two words! Such an easy way to demonstrate tenderness and gratitude to one another. One […]

First Christmas without a Son

Posted on December 4, 2015 - by Laura Klouzek

The first year my husband and I were married, we lived in Nurnberg, Germany. He was in the army, and I was not about to let him go to Germany for a year without me. We celebrated our first Christmas in Nurnberg. It was a fun time, it was a tough time. We had always spent Christmas with family, and our first Christmas as a couple, we were thousands of miles away, and sometimes pretty lonely. I bought some Christmas music, and played it over and over. Every time the song, “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” came on, I would […]

If You’re Stuck in Grief, Be Patient

Posted on December 4, 2015 - by Donna Miesbach

As I am sure you already know, the sense of separation when loved ones die can be very painful. What we may not yet have realized is that just because you can’t see your loved ones doesn’t mean they aren’t with you. You are always connected in your heart. Love does not die. In love, there is no separation. One love, one heart. Just thinking of someone consciously connects you to them. Yes, the parting is hard, but always at some deep level we are all very much connected. And if there are times when you feel as though you’re […]

The Grief Breakfast Club’s December Meeting

Posted on December 3, 2015 - by Greg Adams

It was December and the last monthly meeting of the “Grief Breakfast Club” for the year. No one could quite remember exactly when it started, but it had been Old Widow’s idea. She wasn’t necessarily “old,” but she had been living without her husband for a number of years which made her “Old Widow” compared to “New Widow” who lost her husband only a few months ago. Not everyone knew what it was like to lose someone so important and so many people didn’t know what to say or said things like “he wouldn’t want you to be sad” or […]

Not Home for the Holidays

Posted on December 3, 2015 - by Rhonda Belous

I vividly remember the day that one of my one of my closest friends called me at 1:30 AM to tell me that her Dad had just died. She had left the hospital and although she was audibly distressed, she was still able to drive herself home. “Do you want me to come over?” I compassionately offered. Projecting myself into her shoes, I just could not imagine losing my dad – or my precious, loving mom, for that matter. She has just lost both. That thought petrified me. My dad did indeed die, several years after my friend’s losses. My […]

Sara Daren: Grief Camp for Boys

Posted on December 3, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Gloria Horsley talks with Sara Daren about operating grief camps for boys. She operates Experience Camps in Maine and New York. Her work began when she saw her husband working at grief camps designed for all kids. She realized there was a disparity for boy’s camps, as boys grieve very differently than girls. Now, seven years later, she’s beginning to offer camps just for girls, too. The bereavement camps are for children nine through 16 who have experienced any significant loss. There are also camps in California—and all camps are free. Bus transportation is available, and the kids are […]

Is Christmas Still Christmas?

Posted on December 2, 2015 - by Jill Smoot

Anyone who has lost someone they love knows the numbing-down effect that death brings. Life becomes in some ways a pantomime, a surreal going-through-the-motions of reality. Especially, this is true at the holiday seasons. Three months after our son’s death, I was on my way to have breakfast with a close friend. I began crying all the way there, and even as I sat down at the restaurant, I lost it. For me — a person who always avoided crying in public — the veneer was being stripped away, raw and revealing. Everything in that establishment was festive and happy. […]