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Finding Christmas and Peace after the Death of a Child

Posted on December 25, 2015 - by Harriet Hodgson

Decades have passed since my infant daughter’s first Christmas. Baby Helen was only a month old when Christmas came. Because my husband and I were financially strapped, there were few presents under the tree, and most were for the baby. When I went to bed on Christmas Eve, I barely slept. All I could think about was the excitement of Helen’s first Christmas. After years of waiting, we were the parents of a newborn baby. My mother-in-law’s friends were eager to see Helen, so I decided to have an afternoon gathering for them. I made the invitations with gift wrap, […]

The Place of Transition: Finding Purpose After Loss

Posted on December 23, 2015 - by Michelle Jarvie

The following is a sermon by Michelle D. Jarvie, written as a reflection on Isaiah 61 for an Advent Service of Remembrance and Hope. “I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s going to happen next.” Those words are found in a memoir called It’s Always Something by actress Gilda Radner. Two particularly hard losses for her were the […]

Susan Coyle: Hospice and End of Life

Posted on December 23, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

From the National Alliance for Grieving Children conference, Dr. Gloria Horsley talks with Susan Coyle about how you can help friends and family if they’ve experienced a loss. Coyle is a bereavement counselor and end of life care manager for St. Charles Hospice in Bend, Oregon. “Be patient” is the number one tip Coyle can give people—because most people (who haven’t undergone a loss) don’t know what to say or do. You should also be patient with yourself if you’re the one who suffered a loss. Keep in mind that grief is a journey, and it’s one you may be […]

Keep the Spirit of Your Loved One Alive at Christmas

Posted on December 23, 2015 - by Marilyn Burns

When the holiday season arrives, it takes me back in time. It is a bittersweet relive of the memories of Christmas past. I gave birth to two sons, Chris was my youngest and Jason my first born. The boys were best friends and partners in crime. My holidays were full of joy and meaning because of the excitement and fun that the boys created for me. Their father left when they were four and six and so it was always the three of us…and any animals that were able to join in the fun. My Christmas mornings were always the […]

Grief and Healing: Against the Odds

Posted on December 22, 2015 - by Peter Lichtenberg

This is my story of being widowed at 25 and again at 55, and the deaths of my beloved wives—the first in November 1984 and the second in February 2014. It’s not only that I lost both of these women to an early death, but also that these relationships were once-in-a-lifetime love affairs. Becky and Susan were everything to me: friend, colleague, lover, confidante; the person I most wanted to have fun with and the one I wanted beside me in a crisis. These grief experiences were so different and yet similar: one informed by the other, yet each a […]

First Christmas Without Mom

Posted on December 22, 2015 - by Cheryl Espinosa-Jones

I’m searching the internet for ways to get through this first festival of lights season without my mother. The articles I read about loss and the holidays offer helpful tips for getting through it. So many helpful suggestions: find meaning in your traditions, ask for help, plan ahead, discover what has most value to you, change it up, keep it the same, leave an empty chair at the table, feel the absence. This small list hardly scratches the surface. And what I keep thinking is, skip to January! This is not an option I would actually take, because in some […]

Family Dynamics When Dealing With Loss

Posted on December 21, 2015 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley interview the Ferber family about handling loss as a family unit. Dorothy (mom), David (dad), and Jordan (the couple’s son) discuss the death of Russell—Jordan’s brother. The family found The Compassionate Friends, which was pivotal in helping them celebrate the life of Russell. They created the Russell Ferber Foundation, dedicated to Russell who died in a car accident in his early 20s. Dorothy is a travel writer and became a chapter leader of The Compassionate Friends immediately after losing her son. David is an attorney and facilitates men’s groups in The Compassionate Friends. Jordan is […]

Molly Pickett: How to Talk to Your Grieving Teen

Posted on December 20, 2015 - by John Rampton

How can you talk to a teenager about the grief process? John Rampton with the Open to Hope Foundation interviews Molly Pickett, whose father died when she was young. She remembers there were many hurtful things said to her, often by well-meaning people. She recommends that parents especially avoid saying certain things to kids and teens. However, it’s an individual process. For Pickett, she wanted to protect her mother—and of course her mother wanted to protect her. The silence itself was most painful from her mother. Silence can feel like the grief isn’t acknowledged. A child, especially a teen, will […]

Marci Servizi: Death of a Father

Posted on December 20, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

During the National Alliance for Grieving Children, Marci Servizi connects with Dr. Gloria Horsley to tell her about the death of her father. Based in Seattle, Servizi works with Safe Crossings, which raises money to give to other organizations that serve those who experienced a loss. Her father died on her 12th birthday. As the youngest of ten children, she had a lot of support in her Catholic family. Still, the entire family was grieving at the same time. There wasn’t the same kind of support then that there is now. When she lost her father, when people said, “What […]

Maryana Stern: Foster Kids Helping Each Other

Posted on December 19, 2015 - by Heidi Horsley

During the National Alliance for Grieving Children conference, Dr. Heidi Horsley interviews Maryana Stern of Foster Club and a former foster child in the system. It’s a peer to peer support program, and you need to have been in foster care yourself to participate. Now an advocate, she works to change policies that will improve the experience of foster care and works with children around the world. Another aspect of her work is serving as a mentor and big sister to foster youth who might not otherwise have that experience and support. Having come from the foster system herself, Stern […]