Dr. Heidi Horsley discusses teens and grief with Molly Pickett, who works with the Tamarack Grief Resource Center. Pickett began her grief journey at just 12 years old when her father died by suicide. She considers herself fortunate to participate in camps at Tamarack. For her, the biggest help was knowing that she was seen. She had people who were caring and compassionate. Tina Barrett, the manager of Tamarack, saw Pickett in the camps and told her what might be helpful. Pickett’s mother was in her own grief journey, and used silence as a way to cope.

Teens need to be seen, and it’s a challenge for many. As a teen, everything in your life is changing anyway. The bottom falls out when you lose someone you love. It’s easy to get lost at this point. You can be seen as unapproachable. People don’t know what to say or how to handle you anymore. This can be true of friends and family alike. “How are you?” and “what do you need today?” are two questions that teens need.

Growing Up

Being seen as someone who matters in a crowd is critical. Validate their losses and acknowledge them. People often look to parents and adults after a loss, and that’s where all the support goes. Don’t forget about the kids, because they’re grieving, too. Dr. Horsley relates, having lost her brother when she was away at college. It can be even more difficult for an adult sibling, as they’re often seen as if they have “moved on” from the family unit.

Pickett encourages anyone who is a teen or knows a teen in grief to identify nearby support networks. Tamarack is one of many around the country. Getting professional support and help can make all the difference for a teen who’s feeling lost.

 

Heidi Horsley

Dr. Heidi Horsley is an international grief expert, licensed psychologist, and social worker. She is the Executive Director and Co-Founder of the Open to Hope Foundation, one of the largest internet grief resources, with over 2 million yearly visitors. She hosts the award-winning Open to Hope cable television show and podcast. Dr. Heidi is an adjunct professor at Columbia University. She serves on the ​National Board of Directors for The Compassionate Friends, the largest peer to peer support organization in the world. She also serves on the National Advisory Board for the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS). TAPS has served over 50,000 military families who have suffered a loss. In addition, she serves on the National Advisory Board for the Elisabeth Kubler-Ross Foundation, and the Children's Brain Tumor Foundation. Dr. Heidi is on the VIP section of Marquis Who's Who in America, Madison Who's Who, and Who's Who of American Women. Dr. Heidi has co-authored eight books, including; Spouse Loss; Fresh Grief; Inspirational Stories for Handling the Holidays After Loss; Inspirational Stories of Healing After Loss; Real Men Do Cry; A Quarterbacks Inspiring Story of Tackling Depression & Surviving Suicide; Teen Grief Relief: Parenting with Understanding Support and Guidance; and Signs and Hope From Heaven. She has appeared on the ABC television show 20/20, has been interviewed by numerous media outlets, and has been a guest on hundreds of radio shows as well as quoted in dozens of media publications, including the Metro World News, Washington Post, Time Magazine, Newsday, Money Magazine, and New York Daily News. Dr. Heidi is also the author of numerous articles and academic book chapters. Dr. Heidi gives keynotes, presentations, and workshops throughout the country, and teaches continuing education workshops for health care professionals on support following trauma and tragedy. For 10 yrs., Dr. Heidi worked as a co-investigator for the FDNY-Columbia University Family Guidance Program; a study which looked at traumatic loss in families of firefighters killed in the 9/11 World Trade Center attacks. Through this 9/11 study, Dr. Heidi provided ongoing intervention and follow-up to firefighter widows and their children, and facilitated groups for bereaved siblings. In addition, Dr. Heidi supervised the school social work staff at Harlem Democracy Charter Schools in NYC for four years. Dr. Heidi's early career included work in a variety of clinical settings, including; Manhattan Psychiatric Center, California Pacific Medical Center Psychiatry Dept., University of San Francisco Mental Health Clinic, St. Lukes-Roosevelt Hospital Psychiatry Dept., and Hope Haven Residential Treatment Center in New Orleans. Her doctoral dissertation was on the sudden death of a sibling. Her academic credentials include a doctorate in Psychology (PsyD) from the University of San Francisco; a Masters degree in social work (LMSW) from Columbia University, and a Masters degree in mental health counseling (MS) from Loyola University, in New Orleans. Dr. Heidi splits her time between NYC and Tucson AZ.

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