Open to Hope Articles

Articles Home

A Letter to Myself (as a New Widow)

Posted on January 9, 2016 - by Michelle Jarvie

I’ve always been a planner. When I was 8, I had Christmas presents wrapped and cards made in July. When I was 14, I researched all of my college options. When I was 19 and graduated college, I knew that 26 was going to be the best year of my life. After all, at 26, you’re deep into a career, are likely married, own your own home, and are financially stable and wise enough to provide for kids. When the plan sped up and I found and married my best friend at 22 years old, we decided to live in […]

Three Years After Son’s Death, the Emptiness is Sacred

Posted on January 8, 2016 - by Elizabeth Brady

“It is your season, Elizabeth,” our priest greeted me, more than eight months pregnant and my body filled to bursting with our son, John, during Advent 2003. “It is,” I laughed. “I can’t wait to hold him!” Our daughter, Izzy, six at the time, was dubious about a little brother joining her domain in January. We began reading the first chapter of Luke out loud feeling a kinship with Elizabeth, mother of John the Baptist, enjoying the company of her cousin Mary while they were both expecting their sons. And, like their sons, our John, nicknamed “Mack,” came to us […]

Re-Imagining Grief: When Family and Culture Offer No Help

Posted on January 7, 2016 - by Mark Liebenow

We are taught how to grieve by the legacy carried in our families, or more accurately, we are taught how to cover death up. This presented a problem when my wife Evelyn died. I was told that one side of my family was pushed out of Scotland because of the Clearances, settled in Ireland for a time, and then came to America. I was told that the other side fled Germany in the late 1800s when Bismarck was conscripting males for another of his wars, began life in a new country, and created a farm on a prairie in Wisconsin. […]

You Did The Best You Could

Posted on January 5, 2016 - by Nina Impala

There is something very important I want to share with you, so listen deep. As a bereavement counselor I speak with numerous people on a daily basis about loss. The number one thing I feel from people is guilt. The words pour out of them, “If I hadn’t take them to the hospital…” or “What if I hadn’t put him in a nursing home?” “I should have called her more.” Let me tell you something: In those moments when you made the decisions to do or say what you did, you were reacting from that moment and the love in […]

Hope and Clarity in the Middle of Nowhere

Posted on January 5, 2016 - by David Roberts

Lately, I have begun to revisit previous articles and blogs that I have authored. Perhaps as I grow older, I value nostalgia more, or perhaps it is the value I place on the past as a teacher. Regardless, I always discover new insights when I revisit previous writings. The majority of the content of the article that follows was originally published by Hello Grief in November of 2013. I have eliminated or changed some words here because the terminology I used then to describe my path doesn’t apply to me in this moment. I believe that as we evolve after loss, how we conceptualize […]

Hope With Red Feathers

Posted on January 1, 2016 - by Sue Trace Lawrence

“Hope is the thing with feathers.” This quote from Emily Dickinson never made a lot of sense to me; my primary association with it resulted from Woody Allen’s poking fun in one of his 1970’s books. Recently, an odd experience, maybe some would say a coincidence, caused me to see this pronouncement in a new light. In the six years since my 41-year-old brother died, I often found it difficult to feel a sense of hope. Dictionary.com defines hope as “the feeling that what is wanted can be had, or that events will turn out for the best.” A simplistic […]

Pregnancy Loss and Still Birth

Posted on December 31, 2015 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

The CEO of First Candle, Chris Blake, joins Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley on this episode of the Open to Hope show. This organization saves lives and provides support to parents facing pregnancy loss and still births. Dr. Heidi Horsley has had some miscarriages in her life, and relates closely to the non-profit’s work. Brooke Smith of Knot My Baby also joins the show, sharing her story about the death of her full-term baby. She used First Candle’s services, and it inspired her to begin her own organization. Kennedy Smith, Brooke’s daughter, is the inspiration for all her work. Blake […]

Make a New Year’s Resolution to Lean into Grief

Posted on December 31, 2015 - by Joni Norby

I wasn’t prepared for 2009, the first new year after our son Ben’s death in 2008. How could we make new memories without our boy? This revelation hit hard around 11:59 pm on New Year’s Eve 2008 as the Times Square ball drop started and the countdown began. Time needed to stand still – everything needed to stop. Of course the ball did drop with “2009” flashing everywhere as people sang, and hugged, and kissed, to the background roar and beauty of exploding fireworks. I curled into the fetal position with my head buried in sofa cushions, closing my mind […]

Loss of an In-law

Posted on December 27, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

The web developer for the Open to Hope Foundation, Christopher Conlan, interviews the founder of the Foundation, Dr. Gloria Horsley. As the author of The In-Law Survival Guide, Dr. Horsley takes a unique approach to talking about in-laws—she doesn’t write about surviving your relationship with them, but rather the loss of your in-laws. A lot of people struggle with their in-laws, and it’s commonly problems that aren’t discussed. Talking about the loss of your in-laws isn’t common. The loss of a beloved in-law, who was like a mother or father to you, can feel just like losing a parent. That […]

Men and Depression

Posted on December 27, 2015 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley of the Open to Hope Foundation tackle the topic of men and depression in this episode of the Open to Hope show. Depression is a serious medical condition, and grief can exacerbate it. If you’re a man who’s depressed, or someone who loves a man who’s depressed, action needs to be taken. Eric Hipple, NFL quarterback and author of the book Real Men Do Cry, joins Drs. Horsley to share his experience about grief and depression. He was going full steam ahead in his career, until his 15 year old son died. Eric spiraled into […]