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Is Christmas Still Christmas?

Posted on December 2, 2015 - by Jill Smoot

Anyone who has lost someone they love knows the numbing-down effect that death brings. Life becomes in some ways a pantomime, a surreal going-through-the-motions of reality. Especially, this is true at the holiday seasons. Three months after our son’s death, I was on my way to have breakfast with a close friend. I began crying all the way there, and even as I sat down at the restaurant, I lost it. For me — a person who always avoided crying in public — the veneer was being stripped away, raw and revealing. Everything in that establishment was festive and happy. […]

Josh Robinson: Expressing Grief Through Music

Posted on December 2, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

The Open to Hope Foundation’s Dr. Gloria Horsley talks with musician John Robinson about his work with grief and loss. He had a powerful experience playing music by his grandfather’s bedside in the hospital. After a heart attack, Robinson and his family found they didn’t have words to express how they felt. With music, Robinson began to communicate through the drums. It drowned out the background noise, and slowly families began to seek out Robinson to play privately for their own loved ones. Nurses also took note of Robinson’s work, and saw that it was a great way to heal—for […]

A Lasting Memory of Christmas Past

Posted on December 2, 2015 - by Bart Sumner

I had kissed Abby and David “good night” and was started back down the stairs, when I stopped at the top riser and paused before heading downstairs. The scene laid out below me, in the living room, was what we often lovingly refer to as “Christmas has thrown up all over our house.” I would like nothing more than to say it’s my wife who over-indulges in Christmas, but that would be disingenuous. Between the two of us, we’ve acquired a beyond healthy amount of Christmas stuff. Every year, we dutifully adorn our house. The scene below me that night […]

Cobwebs in December

Posted on December 1, 2015 - by admin

By Catherine Lee It feels like a losing battle. Grief is like cobwebs: I am always running into stray bits stretched across my backdoor. No matter how often I attack the baseboards or upper corners of the living room, reaching my broom and duster, no matter how proficient I become at managing my daily domestic tasks I am bound to find new constructs in unexpected places—or even right out in the open for everyone to see. Sometimes the house spiders work in broad daylight, putting on a show. Shameless. Often, they are busy at night when others are sleeping, anxious […]

Andy McNiel: National Alliance for Grieving Children

Posted on December 1, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

At the National Alliance for Grieving Children conference, Dr. Gloria Horsley discusses grieving children with Andy McNiel. McNiel is with the National Alliance, and explains that this organization was founded in 2004 by professionals in the bereavement field who wanted to connect around issues related to childhood bereavement. There was a belief that there was a misunderstanding about kids and their support network. They’ve been gathering for 11 years, offering symposiums to help those in the industry as well as adult caregivers. The Alliance also offers online support and helps people connect with in-person organizations in their community. If you’re […]

Alexis Sandagato: Teens and Grief

Posted on November 30, 2015 - by Heidi Horsley

The latest National Alliance for Grieving Children conference brought together Alexis Sandagato and Dr. Heidi Horsley. Sandagato is a teenager who’s a junior in high school and doing a three-year research project on the impacts of parental death and how that affects children. She lost her father when she was two years old, and has spent her childhood without her father. What helped her heal was having a supportive family and professional help. If you feel you need it, don’t be afraid of what anyone else will say or think. Children need support, and to know that other kids have […]

Julie Lockhart: Helping Kids After Parent Loss

Posted on November 28, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

While at the National Alliance for Grieving Children conference, Dr. Gloria Horsley connected with Julie Lockhart, who operates a non-profit in southern Oregon called Winter Spring. This organization helps parents tend to their children after a parent loss. Father loss comes with a host of issues. Kids who lose a father lose a sense of their identity. The remaining parent or guardians don’t know how to deal with that kind of grief. Lockhart recommends honesty and openness to what your child is experiencing. Children grieve in doses, and often try to protect the remaining parent. Kids often don’t show their […]

Donna Shuurman: Never Too Late to Heal

Posted on November 27, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

Meeting at the National Alliance for Grieving Children, Dr. Gloria Horsley and Donna Shuurman meet to talk about healing after a loss. Schuurman is the executive director of The Dougy Center in Portland, Oregon, and lost a sister before she was born. Shuurman worked in bereavement for 15 years, and never knew why she was drawn to the work. Years later, she found out that her parents (18 and 19 at the time) had a child who was a girl. She died five days after birth. Every June, her mother would get depressed and her father would say, “It’s about […]

Kaela Vance: Helping Kids Cope with Loss

Posted on November 26, 2015 - by Heidi Horsley

Dr. Heidi Horsley talks with Kaela Vance at the National Alliance for Grieving Children conference. Vance is getting ready to work with an organization, as well as build her own organization, in Columbus, Ohio that help kids cope with loss. When she was seven years old, her mom died of ovarian cancer. As the eldest of three siblings, that loss inspired her to do this work. Dr. Horsley relates, having been inspired by her brother’s death. As a grieving child, Vance recommends that parents look for a program to help children heal. Vance joined Stepping Stones, which offered day camps […]

Sheila Munafo Kanoza: The Importance of Listening

Posted on November 25, 2015 - by Heidi Horsley

Dr. Heidi Hosley is at the National Alliance for Grieving Children conference, where she connected with Sheila Munafo Kanoza. Kanoza was widowed 22 years ago after her husband died following his cancer battle of ten years. She had three children, and couldn’t imagine how she could move on. She prayed for God to take her, and eventually asked what she was supposed to do with her life. She got the message that she was supposed to join a bereavement center, although she had no idea what that was at the time. She looked it up, and found that to be […]