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Diane Dettmann: Sudden Death of a Husband

Posted on September 24, 2015 - by Diane Dettmann

Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley welcome Diane Dettmann to The Open to Hope show. Dettmann lost her husband and literally wrote the book on it. She’s the author of Twenty-Eight Snow Angels: A Widow’s Story of Love, Loss and Renewal. It’s a memoir about the unexpected death of her husband, who was 54 when he passed away. Dettmann also contributes pieces to “Women’s Voices for Change,” and has had her work featured on numerous blogs, online media outlets and in print publications. Dettmann’s husband’s death was somewhat expected since he was born with a chronic lung condition, but he lived […]

Dear Dad: Anger and Apologies

Posted on September 24, 2015 - by Katie Adams

Dear Dad, I miss you and I’m so embarrassed. I’m embarrassed that I’ve spent seven years and $150,000 on not one, but two, creative writing degrees, and I still can’t come up with a more descriptive and involved way to say it. And I suppose there’s a difference between being concise, and being at a total and complete loss for words. I don’t know which one I am yet. When I think of my dad, I think of all the 4am rides to the rink in your Buick, which Grandpa gave you. Every single day was the same: you drove […]

Grief Music with Singer Larry Stevens

Posted on September 23, 2015 - by Larry Barber

Singer and songwriter Larry Stevens performs an acoustic set for The Open to Hope show. Music, art and other creative endeavors are fantastic tools for healing, but they can be difficult to incorporate into the grieving process. Music, whether performing or listening, can help address challenging emotions, but can also quickly become overwhelming. It’s just like when you’re falling in love; hearing a certain song on the radio can trigger overwhelming emotions. Fortunately, there are specific “grief songs” and “grief music” that are designed to help with the healing process at a steady pace. Stevens is one of many performers […]

Healing With Art and Humor

Posted on September 22, 2015 - by Basia Mosinski

Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley host episode 25 of The Open to Hope show, which features art therapist Barbara ‘Basia’ Mosinski and comedic author Carol Scibelli. These experts offer insight into using art and humor to help with the grieving process of a death of a loved one—and both women have used these techniques themselves. Losing a spouse, parent and step-son collectively meant tapping into their expertise and training to find a method of grief management that worked for them. Scibelli is the author of Poor Widow Me, which is a tool used by many to tackle the healing process […]

Vanessa McGannon: Drugs, Alcohol and Suicide

Posted on September 21, 2015 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley welcome Vanessa McGann to the Open to Hope show. McGann works with the American Association of Suicidology, and is an expert on deaths related to drug and alcohol use. Suicide is a behavior, not a disease, which is a fact that many people struggle to face. This episode features clips of numerous people talking about loved ones they’ve lost to suicide. Thomas Joiner says, “With suicide, you can’t physically attack it,” like you can with other types of threats. Suicide can be prevented, particularly when it involves drug and alcohol use. Plus, loved ones who […]

Drug and Alcohol Deaths

Posted on September 20, 2015 - by William Feigelman

In this episode, the authors of Devastating Losses, William and Beverly Feigelman, join Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley. The couple lost their 32-year-old son to suicide related to substance abuse. He was living in New York with his fiancé when he hanged himself. Although Jesse had a long history of substance abuse—and Beverly, who was a specialized therapist treating substance abuse patients—they never saw the death coming. Suicide and drug/alcohol losses are often stigmatized and disenfranchised. For the Feigelmans, they experienced disenfranchised loss doubly, since Jesse’s death was caused by both substance abuse and suicide. Vanessa McGannon also joins the […]

Warning Signs

Posted on September 19, 2015 - by Joni Norby

I run my fingers across raised lettering printed on the business card as I whisper the case number written on the back. This number will trace me to Ben’s body at the Orange County Medical Examiner’s Office. This card is the only tangible evidence I have that our nightmare is real. Memories of last night come back to me in bits and pieces, but I don’t recall getting the card. The social worker must have left it on the table near our front door. It’s hard to remember anything after hearing, “I’m sorry; your son has died.” But I remember […]

The Way Love Feels Now

Posted on September 18, 2015 - by Elaine Mansfield

Two years after my husband Vic’s death, I drive home to the Finger Lakes of New York after visiting my son in North Carolina. I’m on familiar roads, but get lost three times—once by turning too soon, twice by driving past my exit. Maybe I’m distracted by listening to a CD, but the real issue is I’m on my way home after spending time with loving family. It’s a transition that grabs me by the throat and throws me to the ground. I pull in the driveway in fog and drizzle. It’s late in the day, and the dogs need […]

Siblings: The Forgotten Mourners

Posted on September 18, 2015 - by Zander Sprague

Episode 24 of The Open to Hope show features Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley interviewing Dana Brophy and Zander Sprague. Brophy is the daughter of Alan Pedersen, the Executive Director of The Compassionate Friends. She lost her brother, Sean, and knows all too well how disenfranchised sibling loss can be. Like many siblings, she hid her feelings in order to protect her parents. So much of the time, the focus is on the parents when a child dies, but a sibling takes on a huge responsibility—all while feeling like they’ve lost someone they were “guaranteed” to spend their life with. […]

How Can Schools Help Children Who Have Suffered Loss

Posted on September 18, 2015 - by Linda Goldman

How do you help a child who’s grieving? Therapist and expert Linda Goldman discusses this issue with Dr. Heidi Horsley at the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference. Goldman works with schools around the country, helping them to help their students. The best thing schools can do is realize that this loss is something that will last for a long time—perhaps forever. School systems have to be accountable for the grieving child, much like schools are accountable for students with learning disabilities. Unfortunately, schools often think children will “get over it,” which isn’t the case. Grieving children need […]