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Damita SunWolf LaRue: Enhancing Resiliency While Healing from Loss as a Native American

Posted on July 14, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Gloria Horsley connects with Damita SunWolf LaRue, MA, LPA at the Association for Death Education and Counseling conference 2015. LaRue is a member of the Cherokee Nation and a doctoral student studying Clinical Psychology at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology. She’s also an Indian Health Services Scholar, specializing in serving culturally diverse communities with a focus on the Native American community. Historically, Native Americans have had a unique experience with grief and loss, particularly within a cultural lens due to losses of culture, religion, freedom, land, health and language. LaRue points out that even though many of these […]

Nancy Sharp: Both Sides Now

Posted on July 9, 2015 - by Heidi Horsley

Nancy Sharp, author of Both Sides Now, talked to Dr. Heidi Horsley during the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference. The day Sharp gave birth to twins, she learned that her husband’s cancer had returned in full force. Holding both life and death in the same moment became the foundation of her birth. What she learned is that navigating the grayness of life requires the ability to hold dualities. Life and death, joy and sorrow, black and white. Ultimately, Sharp’s husband died of a brain tumor. She re-started from scratch, creating a new life with her twins in […]

Dr. Jon Reid: Chinese Culture and Grief

Posted on July 8, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Jon Reid is a past president of the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC), and he spoke with Dr. Gloria Horsley during the 2015 ADEC conference about Chinese culture and grief. “There’s a much greater reluctance to talk about death and dying in Chinese culture, mostly because it’s considered bad luck,” Dr. Reid shares. It’s also uncomfortable for American children (adult or otherwise) to talk to their parents about death planning, but it’s seen as inevitable. However, in the Chinese culture, doing so is thought to bring bad luck and it’s avoided entirely. Dr. Reid recalls once he […]

What Loss Has Taught Me: Everybody’s on the Tightrope

Posted on July 7, 2015 - by Sarah Kravits

The other day, I went out running to clear my head, something I often do in a continuing quest to manage my grief over the loss of my brother a year ago. I had my iPod on a random shuffle. Janelle Monáe’s song, “Tightrope,” came on after I had gone about a mile and a half, and some of the lyrics found a newly-cleared corner of my brain and lodged there. Whether you’re high or low Baby whether you’re high or low You got to tip on the tightrope As I wondered why these words stuck with me, I realized […]

Memoir of a Spirit

Posted on July 6, 2015 - by Elisa Medhus

Many of us grapple with the thought of our own mortality. It’s a frightening unknown cloaked in mystery, but it doesn’t have to be. My son, Erik, took his own life just after his 20th birthday. Since he was 14 years old, he struggled with severe bipolar disease. On top of this, he had odd tics and learning disabilities, and all of this caused him to be target of bullies, even teachers. Of course my family and I were devastated, and my grief was compounded by the fact that I was raised by atheists so I didn’t even know whether […]

Bob Neimeyer: How to Grieve as a Couple

Posted on June 30, 2015 - by Robert Neimeyer

One of Open to Hope’s Board members, Bob Neimeyer, spoke with Dr. Gloria Horsley at the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference about grieving as a couple. “You’ve told me for many years that I don’t have to give up memories of my child,” she tells Neimeyer. Sadly, Neimeyer explains that one of the go-to strategies in 20th century grief culture in America is the idea that everyone needs to let go. “We need not let them go,” he says. Grieving is really a way of learning how to hold on in a sustainable way. Grieving is how […]

Franklin Cook: Suicide Survivors and Grief Coaching

Posted on June 28, 2015 - by Franklin Cook

Franklin Cook specializes in suicide prevention project management via a coaching business. He offers one-on-one support for those who are grieving after losing a loved one to suicide in a process he calls personal grief coaching. “People are very much in shock after a loss from suicide, and so one thing they need is good, compassionate care from those who respond, whether it’s first responders or it’s the minister” or anyone else. However, there are unique “must haves” when it comes to consistent caregivers over time. Getting the “right match” can make all the difference. “The reason why” is a […]

What is Strength in the Face of Grief?

Posted on June 26, 2015 - by Maria Kubitz

“You’re so strong.” If you’ve suffered the devastating loss of a loved one, you’ve probably heard the phrase. I certainly have after the death of my 4-year-old daughter, Margareta, in 2009. But what does it really mean, anyway? What exactly is the definition of strength in the wake of a loved one’s death? Chances are if you ask a griever and a non-griever that question, you’ll get very different perspectives and very different underlying meanings. When people have told me how strong I am after the death of my daughter – and many people have – they sincerely mean it […]

Tom Attig: Death Rituals and Traditions

Posted on June 25, 2015 - by Thomas Attig

Tom Attig’s book, Death, Dying and Bereavement in Contemporary Society explores the rituals, evolutions and traditions of how we handle death. He spoke about his work with Dr. Gloria Horsley of The Open to Hope Foundation during the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling 2015 conference. Together with his co-author, Judy Stillion, they decided that there were “too many old foxes in the field” when it came to this industry, and it was time for a refresher course. Talking about death and grief is uncomfortable for many in numerous societies, but it shouldn’t be. After all, it’s inevitable. The […]

Fatherly Influence: Transcending Biology and Time

Posted on June 20, 2015 - by Gretchen Kodanaz

The first time my adoptive father, Taner, tried to teach me a lesson was over green peppers that had formed a pile on the side of my plate. I was five years old with classically frustrating picky-eater syndrome, and I didn’t want those peppers. But being the new father figure in the previously single-parent household, Taner was proving a point: I was not leaving the table until I finished everything on my plate. Until that point, having a consistent and authoritative male figure in the house was a foreign concept to me. My biological father Rodney had unexpectedly passed two […]