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Howard Winokuer: Having Hope

Posted on June 3, 2015 - by Howard Winokuer

“It’s okay to see past some of the issues,” urges Dr. Howard Winokuer, the founder of The Winokuer Center for Counseling and Healing in Charlotte, North Carolina. Speaking with Dr. Heidi Horsley at the Association of Death Education and Counseling conference in 2015, he explains that, “It’s okay to have hope even if things don’t look hopeful.” Guilt is commonly linked with hope in the grieving process, and it can be hard to untangle the two. He recalls a time when he was talking to a friend a few months after her son died, and she laughed at one of […]

Lyn Prashant: Body Work After Loss

Posted on May 28, 2015 - by Lyn Prashant

As a bereaved spouse herself, Lyn Prashant specializes in “body work” after loss. She recently talked with Dr. Gloria Horsley from the Open to Hope Foundation about options for those in various stages of grieving when it comes to using the body as part of the healing process. “After my husband died, I found that talking did not deal with the pain in my body.” A few months after her husband passed, Prashant’s friend recommended seeing a masseur to address the physical pain. She explains that having your body touched with love and care can encourage emotions to surface that […]

Mitch Carmody: Signs and Connections

Posted on May 27, 2015 - by Mitch Carmody

“Getting” signs and connections when a loved one passes is a relatively common phenomenon. Some grievers are sure they’ve experienced signs about or from their loved ones who have passed. Others want to receive these signs. At the 2015 Association of Death and Counseling Conference, Dr. Gloria Horsley talked with Mitch Carmody about his take on signs, connections and the grieving process. “People are feeling this (connection)…but they’re afraid to actually tell anyone.” Nobody wants to sound delusional or like they’re reaching for straws, which can further the feeling of isolation. “It’s not crazy; it’s a phenomenon that does happen.” […]

Be Aware of Anticipatory Grief

Posted on May 27, 2015 - by Harriet Hodgson

Sooner or later, we all experience anticipatory grief—a feeling of loss before a death or dreaded event occurs. Unfortunately, many people do not realize they are going through this process, and think something is wrong with them. You may be experiencing anticipatory grief now. Nothing is wrong with you; it is a normal response to life events. Anticipatory grief and I are well acquainted, too well acquainted. My mother had progressive dementia and I was her caregiver for nine years. Every day, I felt like she was dying right before my eyes. When my daughter (mother of my twin grandchildren), […]

Is it Still OK to Cry?

Posted on May 20, 2015 - by Beth Marshall

It was Mother’s Day weekend, and life was especially good. With our kids scattered across the country, the idea of traveling to Colorado to spend a couple days with our daughter, Amy, seemed like the perfect way to celebrate. I stopped in an airport restaurant for breakfast and crossed paths with one of the friendliest waiters I’ve ever met. Lamar obviously loves people and loves his work. As he delivered my coffee and spinach omelet, we started to talk about Mother’s Day. Lamar’s face lit up as he described his amazing mom. He referred to himself unashamedly as a “mama’s […]

Trust Heals: Journeying With Faith, Hope and Patience

Posted on May 18, 2015 - by Charles W. Sidoti

“With Open Hands” – Free me, Lord, from the inner bondage and endless cycle of what I think needs to happen before I can be happy. Free me, Lord, from my idea of the solution. Help me to wait with open ended, joyful expectation; and help me to experience your peace. Amen (Charles W. Sidoti). Ever wish you were more able to go with the flow? Have you ever wished you could go through the day without something upsetting your inner peace? It can be very helpful in this regard to think about how well you process the constant change that life provides. […]

Historic Guidelines Focus on Helping the Suicide Bereaved

Posted on May 12, 2015 - by Franklin Cook

After 15 years of advocacy and work in peer support and training as a survivor of suicide loss, I am pleased to announce that a dozen of my colleagues and I on a blue-ribbon task force* have completed a historic document, Responding to Grief, Trauma, and Distress After a Suicide: U.S. National Guidelines. The Guidelines were announced earlier this month at the Association for Death Education and Counseling conference in San Antonio and at the American Association of Suicidology conference in Atlanta. I will be sharing on Open to Hope the content of an upcoming series of posts from the Grief […]

Unleash the Silence: Compassion for Surviving Siblings

Posted on May 11, 2015 - by Judy Lipson

Losing my beloved sisters Jane and Margie impacted my life in ways I did not comprehend until years later. Their passing shaped the person I am today. With hard work, support, guidance, and the cheering of many, I re-discovered Judy after 30 years. The topic I choose to unleash, although extremely sensitive, needs to be heard. When a family experiences the death of a child/sibling, the entire family suffers a tremendous absence. Losing a sibling instills an immeasurable void. Very often, surviving siblings face an arduous burden of taking care of our parents and are not allowed the liberty of […]

Mother’s Day Haikus

Posted on May 9, 2015 - by Neil Chethik

Editor’s note: We recently asked our contributing writers to create Haikus related to Mother’s Day. Here are some of the poems. Hard being a mother When your child is far away Hug them in your heart — Neal Raisman An angel you are A bright light among the stars And for you, I weep — Marilyn Burns Forever your mom, Your life, my gift every day. Our bond will not break. — Maria Malin Temporarily Here to learn about loving All impermanence — Marguerite O’Connor Wind carries her son’s voice through wind chimes tinkling in the breeze He’s here, she […]

Renaming the Stages of Grief

Posted on April 28, 2015 - by Maria Kubitz

Chances are, you’ve heard of the stages of grief Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced in her 1969 book, “On Death and Dying.” The stages are: 1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance It is a very nice idea that you can break grief down into defined segments that have a clear beginning and end. This way, you would know when you’re done with one stage and when to move onto the next in progression until you’ve accepted the death and come to peace with it. It would be nice…but reality isn’t so simple most of the time. A […]