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What is Mother’s Day after Mother is Gone?

Posted on April 26, 2015 - by Lauren Muscarella

What is Mother’s Day? A day to honor mothers. To me, it’s also the day that American University hosts its graduation. May 13, 2007, I sullenly watched David Gregory give a very witty speech about something I’m fairly certain was inspirational. My mother died the year before and I wasn’t in the mood for Mother’s Day brunch, or graduating with most of my family absent. I was frantically trying to control everything and attain some semblance of normalcy. Of course, that made everything go wrong. My hair was ruined. The brunch I made was ruined. The restaurant I picked for […]

Healing through Expressive Arts: A Conversation with Patricia Rojas-Zambrano

Posted on April 24, 2015 - by Katherine Relf-Canas

Exploring the field of art therapy through a series of interviews with practitioners in the Bay Area and beyond has become a new focus for me. Last month I met with Patricia Rojas-Zambrano after learning about her art journaling workshops through a chance meeting with a regular attendee. I caught her in the middle of an art journaling exchange project between a group of immigrants and refugees from several Latin American countries, and a group of young Maya Kakchiquel women living in the Guatemalan Highlands. The field of Creative Arts Therapy makes a distinction between expressive arts therapy and traditional […]

A Post-Loss Walk through Memory Lane

Posted on April 22, 2015 - by Randah Hamadeh

As I passed their house gate, the heaviness in my heart amplified. I felt as if my heart was about to explode out of my body. I entered the house with my husband and congratulated the bride and groom and their parents and acted as normal as I could. The bride was my deceased daughter’s first friend that she had. They were friends before they were two years old. I greeted everyone, and I felt that some people who knew me looked at me with admiration for being strong enough to come, while others did not connect the dots. I […]

Kaleidoscope: Rearranging the Pieces After Loss

Posted on April 17, 2015 - by Michelle Jarvie

It’s been 80 months since I became a widow, 21 months since I said vows for the second time, and two months since my first child was born. Sometimes I need to pinch myself. As I tenderly rock my little girl in my arms, I can’t help but remember the reason I got this rocking chair six years ago: as a coping mechanism for post-traumatic stress disorder. I was supposed to rock 20 minutes a day, or whenever I felt myself triggered and unable to block out the horrifying images of James’ death: rear-ended and dragged off his motorcycle. The […]

Returning: When the Matriarch Dies

Posted on April 11, 2015 - by Sherry Cassedy

“Where are we going?” she asked again. “We are going to get your hair done,” I tell her for the third or fourth time in the last few minutes. I look over at my mother-in-law, “Min” as her grandchildren had renamed her. She nods and looks out the window. Her hair is a mat of fine white-blond straw, her face is calm but with an agitation brewing beneath as she remains confused despite my answers and assurances. She notices a woman walking on the street, disheveled and unkempt. “Would you look at her!” the judgment revealing Min’s preserved image of […]

Pain is Inevitable; Suffering is Optional

Posted on April 10, 2015 - by Nan Zastrow

“Does time heal all wounds?” If you are a griever, you have no doubt heard this cliché more than once. On April 16, 1993, our son, Chad, died as a result of suicide. Family and friends know that it doesn’t pay to ask, “Do you ever get over it?” Our response will always be the same. “A parent never forgets the loss of a child.” The loss will always be fresh in our minds, but in an instant, we can experience a flashback to the exact moment we received the news. It’s a moment frozen in time. Grief hurts. We […]

Avoid the Grief Pitfall of Isolation

Posted on April 8, 2015 - by Joni Norby

Once a loved one dies, the desire to isolate can be overwhelming. Spending time alone to rest, meditate, and remember is restorative, but grief experts tell us shunning others ultimately won’t bring peace. It’s important to find people who can help us work through the grieving process. Sometimes these people can be family members and friends, but sometimes we need to engage with groups or professionals who can truly understand our pain and help us recover. Here are a few resource groups my husband Dave and I used to find the peace we so desperately needed. 1. Al-Anon Family Groups […]

Mother’s Day: A Happy and Sad Occasion

Posted on April 6, 2015 - by Randah Hamadeh

One Mother’s Day after another passes by since I lost my daughter in September 2006. It does not get easier as years go by. How can this day not intensify my grief after losing one of my three children? Mother’s Day will never be the same ever! This day that used to bring me joy will always be blended with sadness. It is yet another reminder that one of my children left a big void in my home and life. On this day, I always have this wish to go back in time to when all my three children woke […]

Grief in Spring?

Posted on March 23, 2015 - by John Pete

If Spring makes you feel better and to feel new hope, that is a good, positive and nurturing thing. But it may not be true for everyone, and no one should feel they have to hide their true feelings. It is perfectly normal to experience new heightened grief and/or grief-related anxiety in Spring, just as it is in other seasons of the year. Although warmer, sunnier months can be nurturing and inspire new hopefulness, grief does not suddenly go away just because seasons change. Spring generally brings a sudden flurry of change and things begin to move faster all around […]

Reaching Out, Sharing Grief

Posted on March 22, 2015 - by Sherry Cassedy

When our son, Timmy, died at age 20 from a skateboard accident, many of our friends, searching for words, said “I can’t imagine…” And of course they can’t. It is beyond our expectations, beyond our understanding of reality, that a vibrant, young person could be plucked from the world so suddenly. It was certainly beyond my imagination and shook my worldview to the core, leaving me disoriented and feeling very vulnerable. The loss of a child is a passage through a portal into foreign territory. The landscape changes. The ground shifts beneath our feet; we find ourselves at new junctures, […]