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Turning Tragedy into Hope

Posted on March 17, 2015 - by Neil Leatherbarrow

March 17th is normally for most people a day of celebration – St. Patrick’s Day. What a saint he was too, not only bringing a message of hope to the Irish, but also to the rest of the British Isles during his lifetime. March 17th, 2011, was a day that changed my life for all the wrong reasons, as this was the day I lost my 12-year-old daughter, Charlotte. The day started out like any other, Charlotte going to school, coming home, doing her homework, and gobbling her food down before rushing out to her dance school. Charlotte was probably […]

Can Grief Be a Friend?

Posted on March 7, 2015 - by Linda Hunt

Anne LaMott, in her book Traveling Mercies, writes, “Don’t get me wrong. Grief sucks; it really does. Unfortunately, though, avoiding it robs us of Life, of the now, of the sense of living spirit…The bad news is that whatever you use to keep the pain at bay robs you of the flecks and nuggets of gold that feeling grief will give you.” Could one of these gold nuggets be that grief can actually be a friend? In no way did grief feel friendly in the early devastating weeks after our 25-year-old married daughter Krista was killed while volunteering in Bolivia. […]

Signs From Heaven

Posted on March 5, 2015 - by Lora Mercado

Many of us who have lost a loved one have received signs from them after they passed away. These could be small signs like a significant song playing on the radio or seeing a butterfly. You can also experience things such as vivid dreams with your loved one, who appear healthy and happy. Cherish these moments and hold them dear to your heart, because this is their way of showing you that they are not gone from your life, they are still with you and guiding you through your grief. Whenever I receive a sign from my son Alex, who […]

Loving My Wife through Her Grief

Posted on March 3, 2015 - by Jill Kraft Thompson

This article was written by John Thompson, husband of Open to Hope contributing writer Jill Kraft Thompson. March 25, 2015, will mark the thirteenth anniversary of the day my wife Jill lost her family. Of course, I am not talking about our son Franklin and me, but Jill’s previous husband Bart; their two young sons, Benjamin and Samuel; her mother Shirley; and her niece Sarah. Jill, Bart, and their sons were living in Avezzano, Italy, when Jill’s mother, sister, and niece came to visit during their spring break in March 2002. They decided to travel north to sight-see. Bart was […]

Why I Can Be Open to Hope

Posted on March 2, 2015 - by Sarah Kravits

I can’t always hope. But I can be open to it. When people are in mourning, those who care about them often search for some way to help them feel better. It’s awful to see someone you love feeling such pain. You want to take away the suffering, fix the problem, bring your loved one to a place of happiness and positive thinking. I’ve been that person, caring deeply for a grieving friend or family member, wanting to take them by the hand and pull them to a happier place. I’ve even tried to do it, in the most nonjudgmental, […]

‘Have Faith and Pursue the Unknown End’

Posted on February 21, 2015 - by Charles W. Sidoti

What life still holds for us after significant loss is one of life’s many “unknown ends.” You may be old enough to remember the 1960’s television game show, “Let’s Make a Deal,” hosted by Monty Hall. A hallmark of the show was that people sitting in the audience would dress in silly and outrageous outfits all trying to get the host’s attention in hopes of becoming the next contestant. The person selected to be a contestant would win a small amount of cash. He or she could either keep the cash or risk losing it for, “What is behind, door […]

Lent as a Verb, Not a Noun

Posted on February 20, 2015 - by Elizabeth Brady

In Christendom Lent, from the Latin for “forty,” is the annual season of fasting and penitence for 40 weekdays before Easter. But, as someone in mourning, I’m having a hard time thinking about giving up chocolate or staying off Facebook as anything as penitential as the sudden death of our son Mack, 8, on New Year’s Eve 2012. The standard preparation for Lent asks us to step away from our busy lives and consider our mortality: for you were made from dust, and to dust you will return. Until Mack died, Lent was a kind of intrusion into my busy […]

Grieving a Future I’ll Never Have

Posted on February 19, 2015 - by Maria Kubitz

When grief is new, it is excruciating and overwhelming. Many people get stuck in a quicksand of pain that is so thick and intense, it feels impossible to escape. As you struggle through those first few days, weeks, and months, you begin to be pulled so far down into it, you can’t imagine how you’ll survive. I certainly felt that way. I’m grateful that those days are behind me. And yet you do survive. Despite all odds, you wake up each morning. Your body still functions. You find a way to quietly camoflauge yourself within with the “normal” world around […]

‘Moving On’ vs. ‘Moving Forward’: The Preposition Matters

Posted on February 10, 2015 - by Michelle Jarvie

Have you ever told someone, with the best of intentions, “You’ve got to look at all the positives and try to move on”? Sure you have. I have, too. But not since I lost my husband and realized the toxicity that lives within both of those phrases. As Dr. Michael Lerner asserts in “The Difference Between Healing and Curing,” telling people who are hurting to focus on the right/positive things in life is extremely unhelpful. He writes: “It is much healthier, much more healing, to allow yourself to feel whatever is coming up in you, and allow yourself to work […]

The Fierce Tribe of After: Grief, with Attitude

Posted on February 10, 2015 - by Mark Liebenow

Don’t make the mistake. It’s not anger you see on my face. It’s attitude. My wife died suddenly in her forties of an unknown heart problem. If you don’t know what to say to me about that, if you feel uncomfortable when I’m around because I make you worry that your spouse is about to die, then stay away. You’re probably a kind and caring person. If you don’t know grief, then all you need to say is, “I’m sorry that Evelyn died.” Then I will know you care, but leave it at that. What I need are people who […]