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Denial and Disbelief in Grieving

Posted on January 23, 2015 - by Sarah Kravits

I was in denial from the first moment. And for a while thereafter. On a sunny Saturday in June, I had just finished a mud run with my son, and we were walking back to our car in late morning, covered with mud and laughing. My husband called my cell, from our home phone, I assumed, since as far as I knew, he was home with our other two children. I answered, and he said, “Where are you?” When I told him I was heading to the car, he said no, he needed to know exactly where I was located […]

Behind the Veil

Posted on January 21, 2015 - by Maria Kubitz

When you see me, you probably see what you would consider to be a strong person. You see someone who appears to be living the American Dream — juggling a successful career, a beautiful family, a healthy social life, and even time to volunteer for a good cause. You see a person who came back from the death of a young child, and – as you usually put it – has moved on with life. You see someone who has seemingly taken lemons and turned them into lemonade. But unless I want you to, you don’t really see me. You […]

Remember Anyway

Posted on January 15, 2015 - by John Pete

Remembering bears a weight of great responsibility and sometimes feels like a constant struggle to do justice to the memory of loved ones and all that they mean(t) to one’s life. Do we remember with painful grief? Do we seek healing to pay homage to the sanctity of life and those we have lost? Do we find (allow) new happiness in our lives as we journey forward to where loved ones wait for us in God’s time? Do we move forward with some perpetual sadness in our hearts due to painful separations? The truth is you don’t have to pick […]

Love, Loss, Planning and Valentine’s Day

Posted on January 15, 2015 - by Marguerite OConnor

Valentine’s is a day when love, chocolate, flowers, jewelry, greeting cards, romantic movies, dinners, drinks and the color red abound. And, Valentine’s Day can trigger those who are not “coupled” to feel sad, pressured, disappointed or lonesome. It can also be a day to have heartfelt conversations about current or future plans, passions, inspiring books, art or music; perhaps sharing dreams or experiences of traveling, contemplating relocating geographically, or discussing end-of-life wishes for yourself or those you love. What?! Discussing end-of-life wishes? Yes, impermanence is real. Conversation might include thoughts of making changes, perhaps moving to a different climate, or moving […]

Is Grief Making You Feel Sick?

Posted on January 13, 2015 - by Paula Stephens

Recently I got an email from a woman who had lost her son a few years ago. She openly shared how much she had aged fast since her son’s passing. She listed a couple of her most urgent ailments and I quickly realized the process of grieving was taking its toll on her health. As I continued to read, my heart sunk. First off, she is younger than I am, and I’m nowhere near ready to admit that I’m old. Secondly, her ailments were symptoms of secondary losses to grief, not aging. She was slowly killing herself and she had […]

The Best Kept Secret and the Biggest Lie

Posted on January 11, 2015 - by Michael Nunley

I’ll bet you want me to explain the title of this article in one paragraph and let you get back to your search for healing. It’s never quite that easy is it? That last sentence was a hint, by the way. Truthfully, I don’t want to make today, or any day harder for you, so I promise to make this one short. Consider this: the real reason why a program like Alcoholics Anonymous works, is shared & applied experience. The people in that room KNOW what the problems feel like. They KNOW what worked for them and what failed them. […]

Memories Can Help Us Heal Our Grief

Posted on January 9, 2015 - by Harriet Hodgson

“I learn something from my mother every day,” I told my husband. The statement surprised me. Maturity, grief knowledge, and new coping skills may have prompted this statement. Whatever the reasons may be, the statement is true. What have I learned from my mother? This question takes me back to childhood. My mother often said, “The good fairy isn’t coming.” When she said this, she was trying to tell me I was responsible for myself. The good fairy wasn’t coming to rescue me. Relatives and friends may help, but in the end, problem-solving is up to me. In recent years, […]

Writer Penny Slusher on Somber-Free Rites

Posted on January 8, 2015 - by Nancy Gershman, LMSW

Buying presents for the dead and gifting them; knowing your “mama dance” and texting as the deceased: this and more when memory artist, Nancy Gershman talks with writer and actress Penny Slusher about somber-free rites. Currently, Slusher is working on a one-woman show about the house she grew up in Bristol Tennessee, and how living with tragic events affected the family in their daily lives. Take your meals with the dying, whether they’re hungry or not Be what the dying need you to be Behave as if the dying still care about manners Study your mom so one day you can do The Mama Dance Before you […]

The Greater Question

Posted on January 5, 2015 - by Charles W. Sidoti

This article is an excerpt from “Living at God’s Speed, Healing in God’s Time” written by Charles W. Sidoti and Rabbi Akiva Feinstein. Seldom does a week (or even a day or an hour) go by when we are not confronted with the question “Why?” Why are lives devastated by illness, hunger, and devastating loss? Why financial crisis, abusive and broken relationships? Why car wrecks and plane crashes? Why do children need to die? Our generation is also challenged by global “whys?” There are catastrophic natural phenomena, tsunamis, earthquakes, war, and events like 9/11, to name but a few. Tragedy […]

Heart-Shaped Door: A Story of Kids and Art

Posted on January 4, 2015 - by Katherine Relf-Canas

“What do you think you’d want to draw that’s at home?” asks Gary Vasgerdsian, an artist who today is wearing his volunteer hat, participating in a unique program called Kids & Art. The two youngsters he is addressing are Bay Area kids who belong to a very special population of children. Their lives have been touched by cancer. Looking around the room here at the Peninsula Museum of Art, it might not be apparent who in this group is undergoing cancer treatment. At first glance, you might think these are kids doing an “ordinary” art workshop. Just by looking you […]