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Open the Door, Welcome Joy

Posted on December 28, 2014 - by Susan Casey

“Twinkling lights, horse-drawn carriages and the Sugar Plum Fairy all aglow. Evergreens and mistletoe, and Gingerbread houses lined in a row. Stockings hung by wood stoves, dogs curled up on the floor, as we sit and rock with our memories knocking at our door.” Time is measured from the moment our loved ones inhale their last breath. We hear the twitching of the clock’s hands, the tick-tock, tick-tock, reminding us that time passes, even if it feels as though we’re trapped in some elusive nightmare—one we’ll never awaken from until our own heart beats a final beat. The sun inches […]

Holidays and Loss in a Fractured Family

Posted on December 27, 2014 - by Lyn Prashant

Not all holiday memories are fond. In fact, many people proclaim that they’re hiding out or finding an escape route during this season of forced festivity. Emotional distress looms largely for the lonely and bereaved. Extreme challenges and additional difficulties are presented from cultural pressures to be jolly rather than being authentic especially for the newly bereaved. Offering a mixed bag of memories, emotions, familiar smells, nostalgic songs holiday rituals usually stimulate memories of people and holidays past, provoking painful unresolved issues from longstanding difficulties. “Loss and Grief are as universal as a smile.” Bereavement is a natural process that […]

Merry Christmas, Dad!

Posted on December 25, 2014 - by Lisa Khuraibet

I sat in my car. I wasn’t sure I had the nerve to do it. I looked at the letter I held in my hand. Would this work? Could I possibly find peace after 26 years, merely by reading a letter aloud? It was a suggestion by a friend. Write your dad a letter and tell him the good and the bad. Talk to him, and pray for healing and forgiveness. I took out the letter and looked at it. I read it aloud. Funny, I didn’t feel any different. I was very nervous; afraid someone might see me and […]

How to Fill an Empty Stocking

Posted on December 24, 2014 - by Shannon Harris

It is the day after Thanksgiving, or “black Friday” as most of us refer to it these days. I imagine myself in my best holiday shopping outfit complete with new leather boots, a warm peacoat and a bright holiday scarf. I navigate the Vintage Faire Mall parking lot like a champion. With my non-fat, extra hot white chocolate mocha in hand I brave the crowds to meet up with my best girlfriends. We laugh, we wait in long lines and sing along with the cheesy holiday soundtracks playing in the background. But this is not how my day is going. […]

We’ll Celebrate Her Life; We’ll Sing

Posted on December 22, 2014 - by Susan Troccolo

When the doctor in the emergency room asked Dad, “How long has your daughter been drinking?”, it broke his heart and it made him mad. “You don’t know this girl,” he said. “You don’t know my daughter.” After Jilly died on July 3, 2014, Dad and I talked on the phone nearly every day for weeks. I swear we were going through the stages of grief together—on the phone—crying and laughing and trying to understand, which was the hardest part. We talked through the facts, though we knew nothing could have been different. Jilly had been fourteen when our mom […]

Flavorless Holidays

Posted on December 21, 2014 - by Karen Johnson

Despite the loss in your life, the wondering how you can bear the changes, and the dread of the approaching Holidays – they come anyway. The flavor of “Season Greetings” is severely altered and not to your liking. My Mom died twenty years ago and my heart still twists when I hear Christmas Carols. Oh how she loved Christmas. Her children & grandchildren would gather round never knowing if she would be dressed like Mrs. Santa Claus or wearing a Santa hat and jingle bell necklace or some never-heard of Christmas game that she made up. But more than that […]

How I Magically Found the Spirit of the Season

Posted on December 21, 2014 - by Paula Ezop

I thought this year was going to be different. The Thanksgiving holiday was here, and I showed no signs of the “Holiday Dreads.” That’s what I secretly call my emotional state when the holiday season arrives. You see, I am a 68 year old widow. I’ve been a widow since 2005, so I’m not a stranger to the feelings that the loss of the love of your life brings, especially at times of celebration. Yes, no matter how hard I try year after year, I get them. It usually starts in October when I realize that soon the holiday season […]

When the Happy Season is not Happy

Posted on December 20, 2014 - by Beth Marshall

What do you do when the happiest season of all doesn’t seem happy at all? Whether it’s a scary medical diagnosis, the loss of a relationship, or death of someone you love, a traumatic season of life can make the holidays feel overwhelming. Decorating, shopping, and house guests might be more than you can handle this year. Before you decide to pull the covers over your head and wake up in January or start your day with eggnog—stop! You are not alone. 3 Steps To Survive The Holidays Without Losing Your Mind 1. Say what you need to say. It’s a […]

Help for Holiday Grievers

Posted on December 20, 2014 - by Mary Potter Kenyon

“So, what’s for dinner?” Twelve pairs of eyes looked at me expectantly. It was a simple question, not one that should have struck terror in my heart, and yet I suddenly couldn’t breathe. I cleared my throat, nervously fingering the blanket that covered my lap. I thought I’d done so well. I’d managed to decorate the house, make cut-out cookies, wrapped a fair amount of gifts. I’d gotten through Christmas Eve and the ritual of filling stockings and opening gifts on Christmas morning. I’d been so proud of my accomplishments. What I hadn’t considered, what hadn’t even crossed my mind, […]

Does Bereavement End? Deciding That It’s OK to Survive

Posted on December 19, 2014 - by Patrick T. Malone

My wife, Kathy, and I present a workshop for bereaved parents that we have titled, “Into the Valley and Out Again.” We conclude that presentation with some of our observations on our recovery and reinvestment. We believe that many of these observations apply to all forms of bereavement. So here are some excerpts from our workshop. A few years ago the Queen Mother in England died after more than 100 years of life. She was much beloved as the “Queen Mum,” and even before her death, she was planning how she would help the people of England recover from their […]