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When it’s Grief, Not Depression

Posted on September 9, 2014 - by Susan Casey

One sleepless night, I tiptoed down the stairs, slipped outside and stared up at the low-hanging moon, so close to me it looked as if it had been pinned against the black canvas with a thumb tack. I reached out a hand to snatch if from the sky, tuck it inside my heart, feel its warm steady glow burn through my body, filling the empty places my brother’s death left behind. Perhaps I’d be able float, or fly into the midnight sky, join him there in the crook of a star, swing our legs and whisper all that he gave […]

Easing The Way At the End of Life: A Conversation with a Palliative Care Doctor

Posted on September 8, 2014 - by Elaine Mansfield

Elaine Mansfield: My husband Vic was strong and fit when he was diagnosed with incurable lymphoma. He went through chemotherapy and a stem cell transplant with relative ease and regained his vitality. Eight months after the stem cell transplant, we went to the ER because of swelling and arrhythmia. I refused to leave the room and witnessed as he was put on life support—a rough process. He survived twelve cardiac arrests of mysterious cause that night. He suffered in following months, but still taught a last class and completed a third book. Was this the time to call hospice even though […]

Joan Rivers’ Last Days Reminds Us Importance of Living Wills

Posted on September 8, 2014 - by Lisa Khuraibet

This week, the world lost another comedic icon – Joan Rivers. I must confess, I was sad at the passing of this woman. I grew up watching her on television. It was announced that she was on life support. To imagine a woman this vital on a ventilator is almost unthinkable. And yet, every day, many are on life support. So it brings to mind the question, “Do you have a living will?” In this day and age, it is routine for this question to be asked upon a hospital admission. However in 1990, it wasn’t. My grandmother, who was […]

Wildest Dreams: How We Can Learn to Grieve

Posted on September 8, 2014 - by Cheryl Espinosa-Jones

On the day my wife died, the house was overflowing. In the room with me were our kids, 2 1/2 and 14, and a few friends who had pretty much moved in with us those weeks when we knew it was the end. Out in the living room were people who had supported us through her illness, really supported us! They fed us, took care of our baby and helped our teenager navigate having a parent with life-limiting cancer. They had been there when we cried, and laughed, and napped; even for our difficult conversations. We all learned together to […]

Joan Rivers Wants Us to Laugh

Posted on September 8, 2014 - by Allen Klein

When I was doing research for my book, The Courage to Laugh: Humor, Hope and Healing in the Face of Death and Dying, I asked a number of people how they wanted to be remembered after they were gone. Most said that they wanted people to remember the happier times they shared with their friends and loved ones. Many also said that they wanted a funeral where people celebrated their life and who they were. Joan Rivers, the comedian who died recently, was one of those people who not only wanted people to continue laughing after she was gone but […]

Beyond Williams and Rivers, the Everyday Superstars: The Caregivers

Posted on September 8, 2014 - by Tambre Leighn

Over the past few weeks, we’ve lost two major comedic forces, Robin Williams and Joan Rivers, both of whom brought great joy and laughter to our world. Accolades and impact statements have flooded the Internet, along with heartfelt condolence messages. How wonderful for their families to feel this outpouring of love and respect. Yet away from the bright lights of Hollywood, every day, thousands of families experience the loss of loved ones ~ through suicide, tragic accidents, and illness. Often these families have made great sacrifices to care for their loved ones. Medical bills have crushed them. Mounds of insurance […]

Joan Rivers’ Death Highlights Value of Advance Directives

Posted on September 6, 2014 - by Lisa Irish

Joan Rivers’ recent, and sudden, death highlights the value of completing Advance Directives. Hopefully, her family knew her wishes for any time she was not able to speak for herself. Their end-of-life decisions, then, would be directed by Joan’s values instead of their own fears and feelings. Advance Directives (AD) is the “umbrella” document that covers the following end-of-life choices: • Healthcare Agent/Proxy or Representative – the most important element of AD, this decision names the person(s) that will speak for you if you are not able to speak for yourself. This person has talked with you, understands your wishes […]

Because My Son is in a Box

Posted on September 6, 2014 - by Shannon Harris

Because my son is in a box on my shelf, I no longer give a shit about how I appear to the outside world. I do not care that I am misunderstood. I do not care that I am offensive or seem selfish. For once in my life I have no desire to explain myself. I want what I want out of this dense experience, and I am tired of defending that. I will attempt, here, perhaps in vain, to do so one last time. The only difference between myself and any other woman on this planet is that I […]

Life Isn’t Short, But Our Memories Are

Posted on September 5, 2014 - by Bob Baugher

You hear it all the time. “Life is short.” “Time goes by so fast.” “It seems only yesterday that ….” “How did I get this age?” “Where did the time go?’” Let’s look at this closely. First, because we sleep about one-third of the time, this leaves 67% of our life in a waking state. Okay, I know that some of you aren’t getting enough sleep, so you can subtract one-fourth, leaving 75%. Second, many of our daily behaviors are habits—rituals if you will—that we typically do without thinking and therefore do not get stored in our long-term memory. Let’s […]

Joan Rivers and Life Support

Posted on September 1, 2014 - by Gloria Horsley

Update: Joan Rivers passed away not 12 hours after we originally posted this article. The recent tragic news of Joan Rivers, legendary comedian, being placed on life support after going into cardiac and respiratory arrest on Thursday has made many of us think about end-of-life choices. Our thoughts and prayers are with Joan Rivers and her family at this difficult time, and we send them hope and strength. Life support involves many difficult emotions for the patient’s family. Anticipatory grief before the death of a loved one can be overwhelming. When someone no longer has any chance of recovery, or […]