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Wildest Dreams: How We Can Learn to Grieve

Posted on September 8, 2014 - by Cheryl Espinosa-Jones

On the day my wife died, the house was overflowing. In the room with me were our kids, 2 1/2 and 14, and a few friends who had pretty much moved in with us those weeks when we knew it was the end. Out in the living room were people who had supported us through her illness, really supported us! They fed us, took care of our baby and helped our teenager navigate having a parent with life-limiting cancer. They had been there when we cried, and laughed, and napped; even for our difficult conversations. We all learned together to […]

Joan Rivers Wants Us to Laugh

Posted on September 8, 2014 - by Allen Klein

When I was doing research for my book, The Courage to Laugh: Humor, Hope and Healing in the Face of Death and Dying, I asked a number of people how they wanted to be remembered after they were gone. Most said that they wanted people to remember the happier times they shared with their friends and loved ones. Many also said that they wanted a funeral where people celebrated their life and who they were. Joan Rivers, the comedian who died recently, was one of those people who not only wanted people to continue laughing after she was gone but […]

Beyond Williams and Rivers, the Everyday Superstars: The Caregivers

Posted on September 8, 2014 - by Tambre Leighn

Over the past few weeks, we’ve lost two major comedic forces, Robin Williams and Joan Rivers, both of whom brought great joy and laughter to our world. Accolades and impact statements have flooded the Internet, along with heartfelt condolence messages. How wonderful for their families to feel this outpouring of love and respect. Yet away from the bright lights of Hollywood, every day, thousands of families experience the loss of loved ones ~ through suicide, tragic accidents, and illness. Often these families have made great sacrifices to care for their loved ones. Medical bills have crushed them. Mounds of insurance […]

Joan Rivers’ Death Highlights Value of Advance Directives

Posted on September 6, 2014 - by Lisa Irish

Joan Rivers’ recent, and sudden, death highlights the value of completing Advance Directives. Hopefully, her family knew her wishes for any time she was not able to speak for herself. Their end-of-life decisions, then, would be directed by Joan’s values instead of their own fears and feelings. Advance Directives (AD) is the “umbrella” document that covers the following end-of-life choices: • Healthcare Agent/Proxy or Representative – the most important element of AD, this decision names the person(s) that will speak for you if you are not able to speak for yourself. This person has talked with you, understands your wishes […]

Because My Son is in a Box

Posted on September 6, 2014 - by Shannon Harris

Because my son is in a box on my shelf, I no longer give a shit about how I appear to the outside world. I do not care that I am misunderstood. I do not care that I am offensive or seem selfish. For once in my life I have no desire to explain myself. I want what I want out of this dense experience, and I am tired of defending that. I will attempt, here, perhaps in vain, to do so one last time. The only difference between myself and any other woman on this planet is that I […]

Life Isn’t Short, But Our Memories Are

Posted on September 5, 2014 - by Bob Baugher

You hear it all the time. “Life is short.” “Time goes by so fast.” “It seems only yesterday that ….” “How did I get this age?” “Where did the time go?’” Let’s look at this closely. First, because we sleep about one-third of the time, this leaves 67% of our life in a waking state. Okay, I know that some of you aren’t getting enough sleep, so you can subtract one-fourth, leaving 75%. Second, many of our daily behaviors are habits—rituals if you will—that we typically do without thinking and therefore do not get stored in our long-term memory. Let’s […]

Joan Rivers and Life Support

Posted on September 1, 2014 - by Gloria Horsley

Update: Joan Rivers passed away not 12 hours after we originally posted this article. The recent tragic news of Joan Rivers, legendary comedian, being placed on life support after going into cardiac and respiratory arrest on Thursday has made many of us think about end-of-life choices. Our thoughts and prayers are with Joan Rivers and her family at this difficult time, and we send them hope and strength. Life support involves many difficult emotions for the patient’s family. Anticipatory grief before the death of a loved one can be overwhelming. When someone no longer has any chance of recovery, or […]

Working on Posttraumatic Growth, Another Life Journey

Posted on August 31, 2014 - by Harriet Hodgson

For the past seven years I’ve been learning and writing about grief. In 2007, four family members, including my elder daughter, father-in-law, brother, and former son-in-law, all died. My daughter, mother of our twin grandkids, and the grandkid’s father, died in separate car crashes. I wondered if I would survive these traumatic losses. There was no time for self-pity, however, because my husband and I became our grandchildren’s guardians. This responsibility changed my life and my writing. Instead of writing about health/wellness, I began to write about healing from grief, and in the process, learned many new terms. I just […]

Everything Happens for a Reason? Not Necessarily

Posted on August 30, 2014 - by Bob Baugher

Everything happens for a reason. We hear it all the time. I have been hearing it for years from my Psychology students. Part of my job as their instructor is to teach them the art of critical thinking. Yet, when my students get involved in a discussion especially of a senseless tragedy, inevitably many of them say with conviction, “Well, I believe everything happens for a reason.” usually followed by an uplifted shoulder shrug. In my field of work as a death educator and former counselor, I’ve met thousands of people who’ve experienced all kinds of tragedies. What follows is […]

Using the Pen to Return from Grief

Posted on August 29, 2014 - by Julie Nierenberg

Since my dad’s passing in April of 2012, I’ve learned there are many, varied, and sometimes unusual, ways people find to support their grief and integrate the inescapable reality of loss. No single process is best for everyone. For my own acceptance and eventual comfort, I turned to the pen. His death was not unexpected. Stage IV cancer was diagnosed more than three years before Daddy died. Nor was the moment of his passing a sudden or traumatic occurrence. He died peacefully holding my hand. Nonetheless, I was traumatized, as I believe all who lose loved ones are, by his […]