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Lucky Charms: It Isn’t Just a Cereal

Posted on June 10, 2014 - by Alicia Coppola

LUCKY CHARMS: It isn’t just a Cereal “See a penny, pick it up and all day long you’ll have good luck.” “Don’t step on a crack or you’ll break your mother’s back.” “When you see a hummingbird, think of me.” I grew up hearing the first of these two “sayings” from my father, which resulted in, while walking on cracked cement, a strange, hopping gait and a jar full of pennies stashed in my childhood closet. They became so much more than superstitious sayings to me. They became my prayers. The third saying/prayer about the hummingbird was shared with me […]

Grief and the Loss of Control

Posted on June 9, 2014 - by Maria Kubitz

Possibly one of the hardest aspects of grief for me has been that I can’t control it. I spent the majority of my life trying desperately to control everything in it. I wanted life to be predictable and – above all – peaceful. The problem has been what I tried to control and how I’d gone about it. I spent many, many years trying to control the people and situations around me through careful, strategic use of my own words, actions (or lack thereof), and responses. It was exhausting and depressing. And as you can imagine, it never really worked. […]

Finding a Larger Meaning: Suffering Can Open Us Up

Posted on June 9, 2014 - by Donna Miesbach

Challenge is a necessary part of life. And no one is exempt. That includes people like author-teacher extraordinaire Jean Houston. Being “famous” didn’t allow her to opt out of the process. So here are some of her conclusions after meeting difficult times: 1. “It is absolutely essential to look at what happened in fresh ways. A change in perspective can lead to the way out.” 2. “As much as you can, stop mentally re-living what happened that was so painful. As long as you focus on the pain, you will have pain. When you look for a broader landscape, you […]

Comedy About Widowhood

Posted on June 9, 2014 - by Nancy Gershman, LMSW

Marriage jokes about her late husband’s snoring. Widow jokes about their one-sided conversations. This and more when memory artist, Nancy Gershman talks with standup comedian and attorney, Anita Milner about roasting beloved partners who die. Anita works with many widowed men and women – from the well-adjusted to the lonely hearts. Visit Anita on www.anitamilner.com. Passing away quickly? Throw a Good Bye party Roast your late husband (only if your complaints are universal) The terminally ill are naturals at physical comedy A dead spouse can be more attentive than a live one If you’re making a shrine, stick to dignified ceremonial objects Some […]

A Marriage Survives the Loss of a Child

Posted on June 4, 2014 - by Debra Reagan

We have been traveling this grief journey after the death of our son, Clint, for seven years. We didn’t know what to expect along the way for ourselves or for the marriage. In the beginning, we stayed together because we had no energy to do otherwise. Then the suggestion was offered, to stay together because no one else could share the same memories of our son. This progressed to let’s stay together for our surviving son. We desperately wanted to be whole again for him. Time continued and we found ourselves communicating more and rebuilding our lives. Time traveled forward […]

Messages of Love

Posted on June 3, 2014 - by Claire Perkins

Over the years since my son’s death by overdose in 2004, I have received many messages and signs from him. Some have come in dreams, some through songs on the radio. Perhaps the most powerful of all have been the heart-shaped stones and shells washed up by the sea to remind me that love never dies. September 2004, South Padre Island – Calling Out Four months after my son died, I visited South Padre Island and walked on the beach, feeling broken, drained and missing Cameron. I shouted and cried my grief into the sky and the sea. I felt […]

Unravelling of Life … My Sweater

Posted on June 3, 2014 - by Susan Reynolds

The sweater clothed me It sheltered me daily It covered my wounds It kept me safe It was comfortable The occasional yarns that dangled or sprout forth Were quickly yanked away or shorn down No need for them. What I had clothed me One day Father Jim hugged me A priest on a airplane ride I was always afraid of priests His Mr. Rogers sweater was pilled and heavily laden with miscolored shreds from travels bumping up against rough surfaces, forests of stray colors and threads lay pocketed My gleaming bracelet within the hug caught his […]

Don’t Judge My Grief

Posted on June 2, 2014 - by John Pete

A person’s grief is not too short, and it’s not too long. It’s not too weak, and it’s not too strong. It just is what it is, but it’s never wrong. Please don’t try to tell others how to grieve. If you can’t be supportive and non-judgmental, then just say so and step aside to make room for someone who can. ~ John Pete

Make Time Matter: A Lesson from My Dad

Posted on June 2, 2014 - by Julie Nierenberg

My father died from complications of bowel cancer, and I held his hand as he took his final breath. Being there, as hard as it was to experience, was a gift to me, and he told me that it was also a gift to him. He endured some very real physical pain and also the spiritual anguish of ending a life he loved living. Two years have now passed since we said good-bye. In the days leading up to his passing, my dad prepared us with lovingly chosen words and promises of eternal love. When the moment of death came, […]

How to Feel Better in Less Than an Hour

Posted on May 31, 2014 - by Shannon Harris

I often read internet postings from fellow bereaved parents expressing the terrible pain they are feeling after the loss of a child. I hear it in support groups and have lived through it myself. My son, Anthony, died when he was five years old to leukemia four years ago. As I hear and read these stories of depression, pain and sadness, I find that if I am not careful I, too, can take on those same feelings. Perhaps the same type of thing has happened to you. Depending on the energy in the room of a support group, you may […]