A person’s grief is not too short, and it’s not too long. It’s not too weak, and it’s not too strong. It just is what it is, but it’s never wrong. Please don’t try to tell others how to grieve. If you can’t be supportive and non-judgmental, then just say so and step aside to make room for someone who can. ~ John Pete
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My father died from complications of bowel cancer, and I held his hand as he took his final breath. Being there, as hard as it was to experience, was a gift to me, and he told me that it was also a gift to him. He endured some very real physical pain and also the spiritual anguish of ending a life he loved living. Two years have now passed since we said good-bye. In the days leading up to his passing, my dad prepared us with lovingly chosen words and promises of eternal love. When the moment of death came, […]
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I often read internet postings from fellow bereaved parents expressing the terrible pain they are feeling after the loss of a child. I hear it in support groups and have lived through it myself. My son, Anthony, died when he was five years old to leukemia four years ago. As I hear and read these stories of depression, pain and sadness, I find that if I am not careful I, too, can take on those same feelings. Perhaps the same type of thing has happened to you. Depending on the energy in the room of a support group, you may […]
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Sometimes gifted writers, like Maya Angelou, feel like a friend because they invite you into their heart and mind with such a generosity of spirit. It’s no wonder that millions around the world are grieving her death. Though we didn’t ‘know’ her, we came into her world through the 31 books, essays, plays and poetry that she so eloquently wrote. I loved introducing her writings with college students. In the cacophony of voices of praise for Angelou’s evocative writings and dramatic readings, I can imagine she might shout out, “WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! Please remember that a few very important people came […]
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I have been positively imprinted by so many wonderful writers that I am also impacted when they die. When Frank McCourt died, my friends & I, all authors, each read excerpts from his books at a cherished, independently owned, local bookstore. I read from Angela’s Ashes. This was our way of paying tribute to Frank, acknowledging his contributions and marking a significant loss. Though I did not know him personally, his writing is part of his legacy and it was a gift to me. It makes sense that I felt like acknowledging the gift and his unique life in some […]
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A special kind of pain is felt when your mentor’s time on earth is through. Whether the person is famous (like writer Maya Angelou) or a family member, the loss can throw you into a tailspin of sadness. Often times, when we are grieving a great teacher or guide, we are not only grieving the memories or moments that we’ve had with them but also what lessons they haven’t yet taught. It’s as if our personal GPS has lost its signal and we are suddenly lost. We keep showing up to class and there is no teacher. There is no […]
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We hear a lot about befriending unwanted parts of ourselves. So I wondered if this same language could be applied to our own awaiting destiny. After all like any part that makes up a whole, death is born with us and dies with us. It is an intricate part of who we are and has its own set of expressions. CDT (Conversing with Death Education & Therapy) states that within every person is an untouched unconscious that contains a death quality, a part if you will. This quality contains the voice of mystery and wisdom regarding death-and-dying. (The variation between […]
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With the death of Maya Angelou this week, millions of her advocates and fans will be mourning the loss of an exceptional woman. This grief may, to some, seem misplaced. Because, when any public figure passes a wave of “grief judgment” often follows, from family members, the media, even friends. People question the validity of our grief: How can you grieve so heavily for someone whom you’ve never met? The relationship we have with our idols can be a complex one. Wrapped up in our adoration of the work they were able to accomplish we often find our own unfulfilled […]
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And we ourselves shall be loved for a while and forgotten, but the love will have been enough. All those impulses of love return to the love that made them; even memory is not necessary for love. There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love; the only survival the only meaning. — Thornton Wilder The best part of a good man never dies. You will see him in all the things here out of love and for love…The best part of a good man stays forever for love is immortal […]
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How is a performance and a post-show creative writing workshop sparking a national discourse on grief? This and more when memory artist Nancy Gershman sits down with playwright and comedian, Ann Randolph to talk about her one-woman show, LOVELAND – and the transformative and healing power of writing about grief. Learn more about Randolph’s week-long “Write Your Life”workshops, by visiting Ann at www.AnnRandolph.com. “When you’re dead jokes” can be conversation starters Ashes exposed can bring strangers together With nothing left to lose, liberated behaviors surface Writing about grief in a group setting forms “community” Turn your inner critic into a character you can stand up to We […]
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Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.
