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Caregiving is an Unavoidable Link to Anticipatory Grief

Posted on March 14, 2014 - by Harriet Hodgson

More than a decade ago I became my mother’s caregiver. Though she lived in an assisted living community, I had many responsibilities and, as mini strokes robbed her of memory, my responsibilities increased. From taking her to medical and dental appointments, to running errands, to going out for lunch, I did something for my mother every day. And every day I wondered, “Will this be the day she dies?” Anticipatory grief became my constant companion. Now I’m a caregiver again. In late October my husband’s aorta dissected and he had three emergency operations. During the third one, 13 hours of […]

Finding Light in the Darkness of Grief

Posted on March 14, 2014 - by Maria Kubitz

Over four years after her death, thoughts of my daughter fill my mind every day. She has now been gone longer than she was alive. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. She was supposed to live a long life full of adventure, creativity, and quirkiness. As my only daughter in a family full of boys, she was supposed to be my best friend and confidant. She was supposed to… Whatever she was “supposed to do” was lost the day she died. My dreams for her will never come true. I am left sitting here holding my shattered dreams of […]

God Hears the Prayers of those Dealing with Loss

Posted on March 11, 2014 - by Max Lucado

Derek Redmond, a twenty-six-year-old Briton, was favored to win the four-hundred-meter race in the 1992 Barcelona Olympics. Halfway into his semifinal heat, a fiery pain seared through his right leg. He crumpled to the track with a torn hamstring. As the medical attendants were approaching, Redmond fought to his feet. “It was animal instinct,” he would later say. He set out hopping, pushing away the coaches in a crazed attempt to finish the race. When he reached the stretch, a big man pushed through the crowd. He was wearing a T-shirt that read “Have you hugged your child today?” and […]

Wag More, Bark Less: Hospitality and Spiritual Growth

Posted on March 10, 2014 - by Charles W. Sidoti

This article was written by Charles W. Sidoti and Rabbi Akiva Feinstein. One of the greatest gifts that can come from working through the grief process is that the goodness we may have received from our loved ones while they were alive can continue to grow and bear fruit in our lives. I once heard someone make the comment, “We need to recognize the losses in our lives that have made us the people we are. We don’t get over our losses…they become us.” I can certainly relate this to losing my dad in 2007. I think of him often and especially […]

Helping Kids Cope with the Death of a Pet

Posted on February 28, 2014 - by Linda Goldman

All too often, pet death is discounted as not important, and those undermining words, “We’ll get you another one,” are offered as a hollow consolation. They diminish the love the child has for their pet, whether it is a goldfish, a hamster, a dog, a cat or a horse. The death of a pet can serve as a “teachable moment” to include children as recognized mourners and prepare them for other deaths or losses that might occur in their lives. The story of Sammy Sammy was Jasmine’s pet dog. He was hit by a car and severely injured with no […]

Keeping Perspective During the Grief Journey

Posted on February 25, 2014 - by David Roberts

Egocentric Grief On several occasions in the almost eleven years since my daughter Jeannine’s death, I have attended calling hours for several friends whose loved ones have died. If the deceased is not a child, I will sometimes get comments like, “I know it is not the same (death of a child), but I feel so horrible (about my loss).” In some way, I appreciate these comments because it is validation of Jeannine’s death as unthinkable and unfathomable. To me however, these comments also serve to unwittingly trivialize the significance of the loss of their loved ones. Death permanently changes […]

She Died: Bereavement Without Euphemisms

Posted on February 23, 2014 - by Nina Bennett

I love words; the look of them on a page, the sound of them in my head, the texture of them in my mouth. My love of language was encouraged and nurtured by my parents. My favorite gift, even as a child, has always been a book. I taught myself to read prior to starting school and would correct the adults who tried to hasten bedtime by skipping pages during the story ritual. The English language is vast, with nearly unlimited word choices. And yet, as a society that fears and denies death, “died” has become an unmentionable four-letter word. […]

How to Help Children After a Traumatic Death

Posted on February 19, 2014 - by Linda Goldman

Peter was seven-years-old. He died of a brain tumor soon after he fainted on the school playground. Peter had first complained to his teacher of a bad headache, then fell off of the swings and become unconscious. His parents rushed him to the hospital, where the doctors discovered a brain tumor. He died after an unsuccessful emergency operation. Peter’s classmates and siblings had lots of questions about his death. They worried a lot about what could happen if someone gets sick. They worried their parents could die. They worried they could die too. Children are often worried after a sudden […]

The Other Side of Grief

Posted on February 18, 2014 - by Kim Meredith

Have you ever flipped over a colorful seashell that was wedged in the wet sand and examined its other side? You were probably first attracted by the reflection of the flashy hues of the exterior. But the smooth, concave inner surface of the vessel, which once protected life with a mirrored piece, also has a subtle beauty of its own. Now tossed up on the shoreline by the turbulent sea, it is half, not whole. The mollusk is gone along with the other matching section of the shell, making both sides exposed. There is a new purpose for it now […]

Remembering Traumatic Events

Posted on February 17, 2014 - by Jill Kraft Thompson

When I think back twelve years ago to events following the horrific car accident in which five members of my family were killed but I was spared, I recall awakening to my sister screaming, “They are all dead!” I remember looking at her blankly, not feeling anything, not even knowing I had been in an accident, and unsure of where we were. Even though I was in pain, I recall feeling numb. As time passes, our memories of the details about traumatic events change. Do I remember the accident today? No. Did I remember it just after it occurred? I […]