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Guilt Over the Loss of a Spouse

Posted on March 31, 2014 - by Melinda Richarz Lyons

One of my widowed friends recently told me, “I feel guilty being happy alone.” She had been happily married for over forty years and widowed for a few years. My friend explained that she had discovered how comfortable she was as a single woman. To her, being happy without her husband somehow reflected on how she felt about marriage in general, and ultimately cast a negative light on her own marriage. I am certainly not a qualified grief counselor, but as another widow I feel like the fact that my friend found peace as a single woman is perfectly normal. […]

How To Hope Again

Posted on March 30, 2014 - by John Pete

My philosophy is to always choose hope when the alternative is hopelessness. If you have difficulty understanding a purpose for hope after loss, you are not alone. Consider that through hope, you can find paths to peace and healing in your life, and perhaps the lives of others. How will you continue forward with your own life after the loss of a loved one? It can seem quite impossible, but somehow we make our way wearily through the days, weeks, months and beyond. And hope can help us to live a life that honors the legacy of loved ones and would make them proud. […]

Helping Military Kids with Traumatic Death

Posted on March 28, 2014 - by Linda Goldman

Ordinary fears are a normal part of a child’s developmental growth, and children create internal and external mechanisms to cope with these fears. But a child’s ordinary fears can be transformed into very real survival fears in the face of severe trauma. After children experience the death of a parent, they often feel alone and different. Frightened because their once comfortable world now seems unpredictable and unsafe, they may react in ways that we as adults can truly not judge, understand, or anticipate. The impact of a dad’s or mom’s death in the military can be so traumatically disturbing that […]

Finding Grace in Grieving

Posted on March 28, 2014 - by Charles W. Sidoti

An excerpt from “Fortune Cookie Wisdom: a contemplative perspective” by Charles W. Sidoti Have you ever experienced a severe episode of anxiety or what is commonly referred to as a panic attack? It may be triggered by something obvious like a traumatic event or a tragic loss; or it can seem to come out of nowhere. An overwhelming but vague fear suddenly comes upon you. Adrenalin is released into the bloodstream. Your brain shifts into overdrive as you frantically try to think your way out of the crippling emotional distress. Your body is in the classic fight or flight mode. […]

In Case of Grief, Break Glass

Posted on March 27, 2014 - by Michael Nunley

Recently, I was reading an article written by Mitch Carmody, ( a fellow author here on the Open to Hope site) introducing his concept of “Proactive Grieving.” Mitch is a multi-talented man with a broad pallet of expressive and creative ways to facilitate healing and personal growth. His piece addressed the attitudes and expectations men face when we become bereaved. We are expected to “Man Up” and be strong for the rest of the family. After all, big boys don’t cry right? Mitch has some great ideas on how to go forward from that concept but I was struck by […]

Comic Janice Messitte on Being a Newly Wedded Widow

Posted on March 24, 2014 - by Nancy Gershman, LMSW

In the space of two weeks, newly wedded Janice Messitte – stand-up comic, singer and actress – went from planning a dream “Jewnorican” wedding to planning her husband’s funeral. Hear how she used her comic’s wit to survive, as she sits down with memory artist, Nancy Gershman to recall the details. Double check on your husband – especially when he looks fast asleep Mothers: be as happy as your happiest child Don’t beat yourself up for losing the husband on your watch Don’t sap your energy tracing bad luck to a possible curse What audience can there be for a videotape […]

From Malaysia to Syria to the U.S., the World Grieves

Posted on March 23, 2014 - by Sandy Fox

Around the world, we grieve: This past week Malaysia Airlines flight 370 disappeared with 239 passengers and crew members. While the search continues in both the Indian Ocean and the waters between Malaysia and Vietnam, friends and family members from 14 different nationalities are desperately seeking news about love ones aboard the plane: whole families, mothers, fathers and children. Because of all the death and destruction in Syria, thousands and thousands of adults and children are homeless, hungry and desperately sick. The Ukraine, Egypt, Sudan and Tunisia have also witnessed the horrors of war and terrorism. In many African countries hundreds […]

Beyond the Clouds: Reframing the Negative Emotions

Posted on March 22, 2014 - by Kimberly Kirby-Bass

When bad things happen, it is very natural to develop a negative outlook on your life and on yourself. After the loss of a loved one, you may think “I’ll never be ok again” or “I have no hope for my future.” However, hope and a vision for your future are possible when you “flip the script” on how you view and think about your life and your loss. After my mother’s sudden death a few years ago, I talked to a Life Coach and she said that I should create a vision board on what I wanted for my […]

Expressing Emotions Through Crying

Posted on March 20, 2014 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox There are many ways to express your sadness at the loss of a loved one. I’ve often said that when you cry, you are releasing pent up emotions from the grief you feel. It is good to cry and get it all out. It is good for your body and good physically to get that release for the moment. When you are done, you will feel somewhat better. That doesn’t mean it will never happen again, particularly after the death of someone close to you. You can cry at home alone or in front of others. Some […]

Redefining Your Life After The Loss of a Spouse

Posted on March 18, 2014 - by Ellen Gerst

The inconceivable has occurred – your partner has died. Perhaps, it was sudden and unexpected. However, even if it took place after an illness or at an older age, your loss surely came too prematurely from your point of view. Your life is now changed forever. Consequently, you may feel that you have also lost your purpose and, certainly, you’re confused about what role you should play in the world going forward. For example, you’re no longer a wife or a husband, but you sure feel like one. Through your fog of grief, it can be nearly impossible to envision a […]