by Sandy Fox

There are many ways to express your sadness at the loss of a loved one. I’ve often said that when you cry, you are releasing pent up emotions from the grief you feel. It is good to cry and get it all out. It is good for your body and good physically to get that release for the moment.

When you are done, you will feel somewhat better. That doesn’t mean it will never happen again, particularly after the death of someone close to you. You can cry at home alone or in front of others. Some cry a lot. Some people do not cry at all. Crying does not mean you are a weak person. Quite the opposite.

Washington Irving said it best: There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than 10,000 tongues. They are messengers for overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.

You loved the person you are crying over. They were important in your life. You know you will never see them again. Your heart is broken and your grief unbearable. Crying will not bring them back, but it will ease the pain for the moment.

If you find yourself having difficulty functioning during the day, try these two techniques which I read about in a grief newsletter. First, take deep breaths in and out slowly and be aware of what you are doing. Try this for about one minute and you will feel in control again. If that doesn’t work, hold still and shift your eyes to the 12 o’clock position, hold this position for 15 seconds while calmly breathing. It will likely ground you emotionally and quell the tears. Both of these can be effective when you need to gain control of yourself in certain situations.

Remember, you should not feel embarrassed when you cry in front of someone. If you have lost a child, a husband, a sister/brother, or parents, others will expect some emotions to pour out of you, and they will understand.

Sandy Fox

Sandy Fox has won four finalist awards for her recent book "Creating a New Normal...After the Death of a Child" with over 80 coping articles and a huge resource section. One award is from USA Book News in the Health/Death and Dying Category for 2010. The second award is from ForeWord Reviews in the Health Category for 2010. The third is from Royal Dragonfly Book Awards. The most recent finalist award is for the self-help category of the 2011 Indie Book Awards. She is also the author of another grief book, "I Have No Intention of Saying Good-bye." “I Have No Intention of Saying Good-bye” tells the stories of 25 sets of parents and how they moved on with their lives after the death of their child, offering hope and survival techniques. Sandy has headed two national bereavement conferences for childless parents and spoken for many years at Compassionate Friends National conferences, POMC and across the U.S. to a variety of bereavement groups. She also writes articles for the Open to Hope site, EZ articles, and Journey through grief newsletter in addition to her own weekly blog: Sandy can be contacted at to set up any speaking engagements or to ask any questions related to surviving the death of a child. Sandy was a guest on the radio show “Healing the Grieving Heart“ discussing: “I have no intention of Saying Good-Bye: Coping Techniques for the Now Childless.” To hear Sandy being interviewed on this show by Dr. Gloria & Dr. Heidi Horsley, click on the following link:

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