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Asking for Help with Anticipatory Bereavement

Posted on November 11, 2013 - by Harriet Hodgson

,In the last week my husband has undergone three emergency surgeries, all of them life-threatening. I wondered how many operations he could tolerate. He is in the critical care unit of the hospital, hooked up to more tubes and wires and machines than I can count. If he survives, he many never walk again. I’m feeling intense anticipatory bereavement, wide mood swings that go from despair to hope. Because I’ve studied anticipatory grief for more than a dozen years and written about it, I recognized these feelings and realized I needed help. So I contacted family members and they rallied […]

A Dozen Bereavement Tips for Getting Through the Holidays

Posted on November 10, 2013 - by Donna Miesbach

Years ago, when my minister told me the holidays are difficult for a lot of people, I didn’t have a clue what she was talking about. Why on earth would such a joyous time be difficult? That all changed when I was working my way through the sudden loss of husband and both parents. The holidays, I quickly learned, can indeed be difficult. I also learned there are some things you can do to make them a little easier. Here are some of the things that helped me: 1. Nurture yourself every way you can ~ in big ways and […]

Holidays and Bereavement After the Loss of a Child

Posted on November 8, 2013 - by Shelley Ramsey

Today we usher in the month of November. The holidays are quickly approaching – first Thanksgiving and then Christmas quickly followed by New Year’s. I remember well the pain of those first holidays without Joseph. Prior to his death we were very traditional in the ways we celebrated, but now we didn’t know how to fill the gap among us. Learning to do that was a process. We discovered quickly that we each needed something familiar because life had become so unfamiliar. Since they were part of the fabric of our family, we chose to hang on to many of […]

Lessons Learned: Help for Bereavement During the Holidays

Posted on November 7, 2013 - by Sally Grablick

Halloween is behind us, and we all know what that means. Here come the holidays. If you are grieving, this will be a difficult time for you. What to do, where to go, how do you cope? Take my advice, and don’t try to re-invent the wheel. Instead, make use of the lessons learned by others. Take advantage of the experiences shared in books, on websites, and through support groups. Not everything you discover will work for you – but eventually you will grasp enough that does. I am saddened to say that when it comes to bereavement, I am […]

Bereavement During the Holidays

Posted on November 7, 2013 - by Nan Zastrow

Holidays are a time of great anxiety during bereavement. But it’s not just the holiday season that puts the griever at risk for emotional turmoil. Any social situation, event, or random interaction can quickly change a peaceful moment into one of confusion. If you are aware of the triggers that cause the spontaneous eruption of emotions, you may be better prepared to meet and beat these unexpected moments. These tips can help you prepare for holiday anxiety, but you can easily apply them to any event. 1. Events—trigger emotions Most social interactions trigger “beware” emotions. Mentally, we begin to conjure […]

Bereavement: Just a Word

Posted on November 6, 2013 - by Marsha Maring

The Webster dictionary describes the word bereavement as a state of being sad because a family member or friend has recently died. For anyone who has lost a loved one, they know in reality bereavement is a word that cannot be defined. Bereavement is a feeling with unknown depths triggered by love which too cannot be measured. We know love is a whole host of meanings with many acts of endearment far beyond words. So I have to wonder, if it’s difficult to describe the feeling of love, how can one put a definition on the feeling of losing it. […]

Second-Place Bereavement: When Grief Workers Need Help

Posted on November 6, 2013 - by Susan Reynolds

How can workers within end-of-life settings support themselves in dealing with their own matters of bereavement? Is it possible for them to enlist help of others or are their needs held in second place? What can you do to help? Burnout can arise both with paid and unpaid workers in this field. They can find themselves facing and tackling their personal family bereaved situations outside of work. Bereavement is loss, not just death. “ Loosing” a patient upon patient can bring one to a tipping point. Connection and disconnection is continually happening in the workplace for them. Now add changing […]

In Bereavement, Differences Matter

Posted on November 5, 2013 - by Marty Tousley

Ultimately it is [the] identification, validation, and exploration of their pattern of grief or adaptive grieving styles that grieving individuals will find empowering and that will allow them to deal with that loss on their own terms, with their own unique strengths. ~ Kenneth J. Doka, PhD In their book Grieving Beyond Gender: Understanding the Ways Men and Women Mourn, professors Kenneth Doka and Terry Martin challenge the notion that everyone experiences grief and mourning in exactly the same way, regardless of gender. The authors suggest instead that differing personality patterns will affect how each person individually expresses, experiences and deals with […]

The Lighter Side of Bereavement: Cartoonists, Comedians on Death and Dying

Posted on November 5, 2013 - by Allen Klein

Death, dying and bereavement is not funny. Still comedians, cartoonists, and cinematographers show us that it is possible to laugh during times of loss and provide. As Bob Mankoff, the cartoon editor of the New Yorker, says, laughter is like “a little anesthesia of the heart.” In seeing demise through humorous eyes, their funny creations not only help us get a different perspective on somber situations but also help us get the upper hand on the inevitable. Cartoonists Currently, cute little cartoon characters are singing and dancing about death in an extremely popular public service announcement promotes rail safety. “Dumb […]

The Irreverent Widow, Sandi Amorello on Young Widows with Kids in Tow

Posted on November 3, 2013 - by Nancy Gershman, LMSW

What the bereavement support group dress code should be and why widows often say they’ve “thrown out the rule book”: this and more when memory artist Nancy Gershman talks to Sandi Amorello, humorist, artist, and author of The Irreverent Widow: Shockingly true tales of love, death and dating…with children in tow. Sandi is also founder of Girl Scout Dropout, (a membership-based alliance whose uplifting motto to women enduring challenges is ‘More support than an underwire bra’). To connect to other smart, rebellious, witty women averse to uniforms and support groups, make sure to visit sandiamorello.com. The humor gene: are you one of the Haves or […]