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Holidays and Bereavement: A Different Way to Cope

Posted on November 27, 2013 - by Megan Devine

All over the web, people are posting “how to survive the holidays” articles. It’s true – this time of year adds an extra measure of pain to people already bearing more than they can, more than they should ever have to. There is the empty seat at the table, the heaviness of all the ways the one you love is missing, traditions that have gone flat, smacking against the empty place. The first holiday season after Matt drowned was surreal for so many reasons. Death. There’s the big one. But there was also the frantic need for people to make it […]

Mindfulness and Bereavement

Posted on November 25, 2013 - by Megan Devine

If you’re interested in self-development, you’ve probably heard the term “mindfulness.” Over the last decade, mindfulness meditation, sometimes called mindfulness-based therapy, has been researched as an aid to anxiety, stress, depression, chronic pain, and other human conditions. Once largely confined to the realm of therapists’ offices or yoga studios, mindfulness has begun to show up in popular culture, with articles appearing in O magazine, TIME, and Prevention magazines (among others). The United States government has begun to use mindfulness-based programs to help returning vets deal with post-traumatic stress disorder and readjustment to civilian life. It’s become somewhat of a buzz-word […]

Bereavement: ‘A Terrible Beauty’

Posted on November 24, 2013 - by Alicia Coppola

Last week, I was a guest on the Dr. D. Ivan Young radio show to talk about my book, Gracefully Gone. My co-guest Dianne Gray and I also discussed the concept of moving on, moving forward, hell, simply just moving after suffering the loss of a loved one. Dr. Young asked me a question that struck me dumb momentarily, and after the show was over, struck me speechless and almost afraid, as I choked back tears trying to understand the impact of his question. He asked me what it was like for me when my father was diagnosed with brain […]

Love and Loss: Marriage and Bereavement at the Holidays

Posted on November 22, 2013 - by Melinda Moore

In her most recent addition to the wildly popular Bridget Jones’ series, Mad about The Boy, Helen Fielding portrays the bubbly and erstwhile boy-crazy Bridget struggling with the untimely death of her husband Mark. We see Bridget five years after Mark’s death still struggling to adjust to the reality and learning how to respond appropriately to the social network that once embraced them both and now uncomfortably welcomes her alone into their homes at Christmastime. In one scene, Bridget is paralyzed by the happy memories she and her husband shared during the holidays in anticipation of the big party with […]

For Those With Bereavement: Healing Music

Posted on November 21, 2013 - by Tony Falzano

The holidays are almost here. Very shortly, some of us will prepare a list of things so we can get ready for the season. It may look like this… Christmas cards? Check! Hanukkah candles? Check! Gifts for children, spouse and parent? Check, check, check! Though Hanukkah and Christmas are joyous occasions for most, they can be very anxious, trying times if you are spending your first (or another) holiday without a special loved one. Saddened with loss, you may struggle to participate in the season’s festivities. One way that can help you through this period, or any period for that […]

Bereavement and Holiday Traditions

Posted on November 20, 2013 - by Radha Stern

The first big celebration without my son, Christopher, was his 23rd birthday. He was killed March 21st (1996) and born in May 15th (1974)–I still get the dates mixed up because they are both so significant to me (both months starting with M doesn’t help). We were all so unsure what to do to celebrate his birthday without him present. In the end, we did what we always had done when he was with us–a large group of us went to his favorite restaurant, Benihana. We made sure we had enough people to have our own table and chef. We […]

Use Your Bereavement Support System Wisely

Posted on November 20, 2013 - by Harriet Hodgson

Two weeks ago, I was planning my husband’s memorial service. Now I think he will survive the three emergency operations he has had, but may not walk again. His kidneys may not function either. As you might imagine, I’m experiencing intense anticipatory grief and using my grief support system. I’m trying to use it wisely. These tips may help you use your grief support system wisely as well. 1. Keep selected people informed. I send regular updates about my husband’s condition to four or five friends. One friend forwards these messages to other friends in my support system. Her gift […]

Getting Help During Bereavement

Posted on November 19, 2013 - by Beth Marshall

“Call if you need anything!“ How many times have you heard those five familiar words after a crisis or loss of a loved one? Friends want to reach out to you, but aren’t sure exactly what you need. And, if you’re trying to find your equilibrium after a traumatic event, it might be more than you can handle just to make the call for help. Think about this insightful idea. At a grief seminar, the question came up, ”What do you do with all the people who say, ‘call if you need anything?’ “ A woman in the audience raised her […]

‘How Are You?’: A Silent Signpost for the Newly Bereaved

Posted on November 19, 2013 - by Maria Kubitz

“How are you?” It is such a seemingly simple, benign question. Often, those who ask the question are not doing so out of real concern, but just as a polite, meaningless pleasantry. Just as often, those who answer the question would never think to respond with anything other than the implicitly expected “I’m fine” or “Good. How are you?” – even if everything wasn’t fine. But what happens when the simple question of “How are you?” becomes a harsh reminder of the isolation felt by anyone struggling with overwhelming grief? What happens when it becomes the silent signpost marking the […]

Time Sequences of Bereavement: Moving Through Loss

Posted on November 18, 2013 - by Gloria Lintermans

The loss of a spouse is one of the most difficult losses we experience as our entire day-to-day life is turned upside-down. The bereavement process following this loss may be divided into five time sequences. One to four months could be called SHOCK; five to eight months is DENIAL; nine to twelve months is ANGER; thirteen to seventeen months is DEPRESSION; eighteen to twenty four months is INTEGRATION, ADJUSTMENT and TRANSITION. While everyone experiences bereavement and mourning in his or her own way and time, predictably there are time sequences and emotions common to many. You may find yourself going […]