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Accepting What We Cannot Change

Posted on October 24, 2013 - by Donna Miesbach

Life is very much a continual weaning process. We come into the world dependent on other people, but over the course of time we are forced more and more to rely not so much on others as on That which is within us which is both our Source and Sustainer. I’m talking about learning to put your hand in the only Hand that can lead you not only through life but through death as well. The process begins when death first comes into our lives as children through the gradual loss of family and friends, and it does not end […]

Twelve Things to Remember about the Holidays and Grief

Posted on October 23, 2013 - by Deb Kosmer

1. That I could not predict how I would feel or react at any given moment. 2. That as much as I missed my loved ones I would miss them even more during the holidays. 3. That my feelings were normal. 4. That I have a right to be sad. Someone I loved very much was no longer here where I could touch them. If I am angry that is okay too. Anger is a natural reaction to pain. 5. That taking care of myself and doing or not doing whatever I decided did not make me a selfish person. […]

Don’t Believe One Widow’s Experience Will be the Same as Yours

Posted on October 23, 2013 - by Catherine Tidd

You know…I always hesitate before I write about something hard I’m going through. There is always a fear that a new widow will read it and think, “My gosh…I’m just trying to get through today. This woman has been at it for almost four years and she’s still having a hard time???” I’m always worried about it because when I was newly widowed, I became friends with a woman I had an instant connection with who was about a year ahead of me in the Grief Game. As I neared my one-year mark, so proud of myself that I had […]

Missing my Husband, Missing my Champion

Posted on October 22, 2013 - by Christine Thiele

When Eat, Pray, Love released years back, I read it. I enjoyed it and I even read Liz Gilbert’s sequel to it and enjoyed it too. When the movie came out, I wanted to see it. I never caught it in the theater, but remember watching it at home. I remember not really liking it too much. Oh well. Last night, in a pre-holiday stress bout with insomnia, I caught some of the movie on TV. As I enter my eighth holiday season alone, the stress fills me up and manifests in a severe lack of restful sleep. I’m familiar […]

Hanging On Through the Holidays

Posted on October 21, 2013 - by Beth Marshall

The music, smell of gingerbread, and shimmering lights usually stir up warm holiday memories, but this year something is missing. Actually someone is missing, and the holiday cheer seems to be making things worse. My most intense journey of grief came suddenly, beginning weeks before the holidays with the death of my mom. “Beazy” was more than a mom; she was my best friend. The thought of Christmas without her was impossible to imagine. If you’ve lost someone close this year, you may understand. Maybe you’re wondering how you’ll be able to hang on through the holidays. If you’re tempted […]

How the Graveyard Became a Place of Peace

Posted on October 18, 2013 - by Alice Wisler

There’s the joke about the cemetery. “How many dead people are in there?” The answer: “All of them.” Or, “People are dying to get in there.” It brought a smile to my lips the first time a ten-year-old told me. But after my son died, I was wondering why there are so many jokes about death and being dead. “We joke about what we fear,” Daniel’s pediatric oncologist at UNC-Chapel Hill’s Hospital told me. Well, I don’t fear the cemetery anymore. The movies and TV shows, especially around Halloween, like to depict the graveyard as a scary place with ghosts […]

Thoughts of Holiday Gifts and My Deceased Daughter

Posted on October 17, 2013 - by Harriet Hodgson

Holidays are a time of reflection and self-discovery for those who mourn. Four years have passed since my daughter died, and I am still overwhelmed with memories at Christmas time. Since this was her favorite holiday, I naturally think of her. I remember the thought she put into selecting and making gifts. I have dreamed about my daughter, too. In my dreams she is either a baby or a toddler. Though four years have passed since she died, I still have times when I can’t believe she is gone. My daughter was 45 years old when she died and at […]

Ten Ways to Find Good Fortune in your Holidays

Posted on October 15, 2013 - by Nan Zastrow

The Christmas tree we dragged from the woods wasn’t perfect, but I didn’t expect the Christmas holiday to be perfect either. The long gangly branches made the tree seem awkwardly out of balance. It was fat at the bottom and too skinny at the top. One of our guests during the holiday commented, “I can’t believe you paid for that tree,” with a teasing snicker. Gramps would have liked the tree with wide spaces between the limbs. He always believed a bird should be able to fly through the tree. He didn’t believe anything should be perfect. Little flaws were […]

Holiday Sorrows and Precious Gifts

Posted on October 13, 2013 - by Thomas Attig

I am sure that I am not alone in approaching American Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years with sorrow in my heart over the death of a loved one. I hope these reflections will provide guidance for reaching through the sorrows of loss in the coming season. During the holidays, the pain of separation from loved ones who have died can become acute and preoccupying. Many will feel especially distant from others when the world is caught up in material consumption and merriment. It’s hard not to resent life in the world around us going on as if nothing has happened […]

The Fall Season: Creating New Traditions Among the Old

Posted on October 12, 2013 - by Linda Triplett

I am sitting at my desk looking outside at the glorious blue sky and just a tinge of color change in the leaves. The weekend was one of brisk cool air, the smell of bonfires in the neighborhood, and of mums replacing the petunias that are now stringy and overgrown. I am entering my 16th fall season without my son, Adam. Truthfully I don’t remember much of the first, or the second ones. My mind was numb, my heart hurt and it was enough to make it through each day let alone noticing what was going on in the world […]