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Soap on a Rope: A Father’s Day Tribute

Posted on June 11, 2013 - by Beth Marshall

“Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap on a rope.” Bill Cosby Unless you are hiking in the Austrailian outback or cruising the Mediterranean, you probably know Father’s Day is coming up. There’s no escaping the TV and internet images of families grilling out and celebrating dads. This year you might be missing your father. If you are, you’re not alone. My dad’s name was John Glenn. He was not the astronaut, but occasionally this John Glenn didn’t mind leveraging his famous name in a crowded restaurant. Once he was asked if he was “the real John […]

Father’s Day: Time to Discard Anger and Guilt

Posted on June 11, 2013 - by Sandra Pesmen

By Sandra Pesmen — If you want to celebrate any holiday, especially Father’s Day, you have to learn to deal with anger and guilt. Whether we widows admit it or not, when our spouse dies, most of us feel guilty because we survived. We fear we may not have been as kind as we could have been all the time. We feel guilty because we didn’t prepare his favorite dinner more often. We feel guilty because we made him see movies (and people) he didn’t like. There are endless “guilts,” says therapist Judy Berg, of Highalnd Park, Ill., who spoke […]

When a Father Dies on Father’s Day

Posted on June 11, 2013 - by Nina Bennett

My father died on Father’s Day 2007. He had been in apparent good health until the night he was admitted to the hospital. That day, he went through his usual routines-swam a mile at the Y, did some errands, sat on the patio with my mother in the late afternoon. By 11 p.m. he was in the ER, in such critical condition that the staff didn’t think he would survive the night. At 6 a.m. the following morning, he was stable enough to transport to the ICU. Each of the next 10 days brought new challenges as his condition worsened […]

Father’s Day: Not a Day, but a Legacy

Posted on June 10, 2013 - by Kim Meredith

My children have passed over the dividing line. They have been alive more years now without their father than they were with him. My daughter Samantha was 12 years old when her father died and Rick was just 10. They were merely children when they had to say goodbye to him after a car accident and a final 2 week stay in the hospital as a quadriplegic. Their last visual was of a motionless, mute forty-four-year old man who could only signal his love to his children with a blink of his eyes. But previously, his total dedication as a […]

A Different (But Good) Father’s Day

Posted on June 9, 2013 - by Eric Tomei

Father’s Day is the day that I least look forward to on the calendar. I know what you’re saying, “Come on Eric, Father’s Day is 4 months away.” Absolutely right, but bear with me. As all of you know you have lost a loved one close to your heart, it could be a birthday, anniversary or any other special day that triggers the memories of that particular individual in both a good way (remembering the past), and bad way (no more memories to create for the future.) Father’s Day just happens to be my day. My […]

When My Grandkids Come Home Joy Returns

Posted on June 7, 2013 - by Harriet Hodgson

Six years have passed since my adult daughter died. During these years my husband and I were their legal guardians and fiscal conservators. The twins, one boy and one girl, were 15 years old when they moved into our home. They graduated from high school, entered college, and are incoming seniors today. Since they are legal adults, they are pretty independent, and do not share all of their plans with us. This is as life should be. We are the home they come home to, and when I hear one of the twins or both, is headed home I become […]

Father’s Days After a Husband Has Died

Posted on June 7, 2013 - by Catherine Tidd

My son recently asked me the question I have been WAITING for one of my children to ask for years. “Mom, how come you get a Mother’s Day and we don’t get a day?” Haven’t you been waiting all of your adult life to answer that question just like your parents did? “Because every day is Kid’s Day.” I never understood that as a child, but now as the mom of three small children, I wish I had a tattoo across my forehead that said it. I would be a hit at Chuck E. Cheese. Have you ever noticed how […]

I Finally Wrote THE LETTER to my Deceased Daughter

Posted on June 6, 2013 - by Harriet Hodgson

For six years, I had heard about and read about the practice of writing a letter to a deceased loved one, and not mailing it. According to grief experts, writing a letter helps you to heal. Writing the letter also helps you to let go. Bob Deits, author of Life After Loss, says this is the most difficult letter you will ever write, and it demands your best. I agreed with his points and, though I was impressed with his wisdom, I did not write THE LETTER. This idea had become a giant billboard in my mind, with the words […]

Father’s Day Tough for Those Who Lost Child

Posted on June 5, 2013 - by Sandy Fox

Happy Father’s Day to all fathers. Today is your day, and I hope you celebrate it with loved ones. Many fathers react differently to this day depending on where they are in their lives; it may be especially difficult for a father who has lost a child. One bereaved father wrote this poem: As this day approaches, I wonder how I will react. Am I still a father? I will sit quietly never allowing family and friends to see how I feel. I will miss my son, but I can’t allow myself to “break.” I must remain strong and always […]

Widow Learns Where To Go From Here

Posted on June 4, 2013 - by Donna Miesbach

Even though I’d heard the expression, “Whenever a door closes, a window always opens,” I didn’t see how that could apply to my life after losing my husband, but it did. Then, not long after my husband died, I lost both of my parents, too. I was just feeling so lost, with no sense of direction. Not knowing what else to do, I started asking, “What do You want me to do now?” The first door that opened was the opportunity to study with Dr. Deepak Chopra and other highly recognized teachers. Those studies led to my certifications for teaching […]