Open to Hope Articles

Articles Home

Wanting to Date Again

Posted on May 18, 2013 - by Abel Keogh

Dear Abel, I lost my wife three months ago after a tragic accident. This may sound crazy to most people but I feel like dating again. Is it normal for men to feel this way so soon after the death of a spouse? What pointers would you give someone in my situation who decided to start dating again? Thanks, T. Dear T: You’ve asked some great questions. First, there’s nothing wrong with feeling the need to date so soon after the death of your wife. Though how soon widowers have this feeling varies from person to person, wanting to date […]

How to Keep a Parent’s Memory Alive

Posted on May 17, 2013 - by Mary Elizabeth Robinson

Losing a parent is never easy, no matter the circumstance or what segment of time in your life the loss occurred. The grief softens, but never leaves us. When holidays roll around, it is always a painful reminder of the hole in our hearts. The days without our mother or father are emphasized during their birthdays, and holidays like Christmas, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. After years of spending those times with heartache, I decided to manifest comfort and joy into those times by honoring my parents, instead of grieving them. We must first remember the connection to our loved […]

Going with the Flow

Posted on May 16, 2013 - by Donna Miesbach

We’re all familiar with the different stages or phases in life – childhood to youth, youth to adulthood, and so on. Those stages could never happen if there wasn’t change ~ every day. Like a flower unfolding, each stage has its beauty and also its challenges. Those constant little changes become part of the rhythm of our daily life and we really don’t think too much about them. It’s the “big” changes that tend to rock our boat. That happened to me when I lost my husband and both parents in a short period of time. Everything changed, seemingly overnight, […]

Grief Has No Borders

Posted on May 14, 2013 - by Sandy Fox

When I was in Brussels, Belgium, recently, I found a reference to Compassionate Friends (the organization for parents who have lost a child to death) and a couple’s phone number in a magazine called The Bulletin. I called the number referenced and spoke to a lovely British lady who has lived in Brussels with her husband for the past 40 years. She informed me that Brussels at one time did have a Compassionate Friends chapter but no longer. She does still refer those who need help to a chapter as close as possible and answers any questions they may have. […]

It’s The Simple Things That Matter The Most In Our Grief Journeys

Posted on May 13, 2013 - by David Roberts

Cemetery Discomfort I have always been uncomfortable in cemeteries ever since I can remember. My discomfort surrounding cemetery visits magnified one hundred fold after my daughter Jeannine’s death in March of 2003. Watching my daughter’s coffin being lowered into the ground during her gravesite service was symbolic of the end of her life, as I knew it, and the end of mine as I knew it. I have gone to the cemetery on a handful of occasions with my wife Cheri, only long enough to ensure that the flowers she planted were intact and that Jeannine’s sacred place filled with […]

A Mother’s Love Lives On

Posted on May 11, 2013 - by Harriet Hodgson

My daughter died in 2007 from the injuries she received in a car crash. At the time of her death, she was soaring in life. She was a composite engineer, had an MBA, six industry certifications, a job she enjoyed, excellent performance reviews, and was assured of advancement in the company. Life was brighter than it had ever been and then she died. Her death was bad enough. Two days later, my father-in-law died. Then my brother (and only sibling) died. Nine months after my daughter died, my former son-in-law, father of my twin grandchildren, died from the injuries he […]

Remarriage Surprise: A Mother-in-Law

Posted on May 11, 2013 - by Diane Dettmann

On February 19, 2006, when Allan proposed to me at Hoff Jewelers at a mall in Maplewood, Minnesota, for some odd reason it never dawned on me that I’d be inheriting a mother-in-law too. I was 59 and Allan 60—youngsters at heart. Our spouses had died, so it was a second marriage for both of us. Still, he wanted to give me a diamond ring. Aglow as the gem sparkled on my finger, I pictured Allan and me hand-in-hand for the rest of our lives. In April, five months before our September wedding, I was looking forward to retiring from […]

Entangled or Unresolved Grief

Posted on May 10, 2013 - by Sharon Greenlee

Just this morning I read a wise and timely quote from Eckhart Tolle: “As long as you make an identity for yourself out of pain, you cannot be free of it.” I’m always a bit amazed when words seem to just appear and find the perfect fit into something that’s going on in my own mind at the time. This is when I reaffirm my belief that there really are no accidents. This is the day I had set aside to sit down and write about what I have learned about Grief Entanglements. Wouldn’t you know: Sense of Identity is […]

Happy Mother’s Day to Every ‘Good-Enough Mother’

Posted on May 8, 2013 - by Mary Jane Hurley Brant

For many of us, Mother’s Day stirs something deeply loving. For others, ambivalent feelings abide. You see, after thirty-three years in the counseling field and drying the tears off many faces, I can accurately say that not every woman feels she had, was or is the “good-enough mother.” So, exactly what is the “good-enough mother”? English pediatrician, Donald Winnicott, M.D. – an influential object-relations psychoanalyst – believed this type of mother was a different kind of mom because she didn’t hold perfectionism as her model. Good on you, Doc Winnicott; that’s “a like” button over here for sure. Honestly, I […]

Want to Fast Forward Through Mother’s Day?

Posted on May 7, 2013 - by Beth Marshall

Have you ever wished you had a huge remote and could fast-forward through something? A tedious conversation, or maybe the perky dental hygienist with a terrifying tray of metal weapons? I have. Mother’s Day isn’t supposed to be on that list, is it? For anyone missing your mother this year, or maybe you’re a mom missing your beloved child, you know what I’m talking about. It’s inescapable — hourly reminders of happy moms and children everywhere you turn. If you’re considering pulling the percale sheets over your head and waking up Monday, you’re not alone. I remember the first Mother’s […]