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Self-Care in Grief: Woman in a Blue Padded Folding Chair

Posted on June 10, 2024 - by Anne Abel

Woman In A Blue Padded Folding Chair Stop. Breathe. Be. Inhale. Exhale. Wait. I’m sitting in a blue padded folding chair in the basement of a church trying to learn how to meditate. Stop. Breathe. Be. Inhale. Exhale… This just isn’t working for me. It’s the second week of a ten-week course I didn’t want to take in the first place. But, today I especially don’t want to be here. When I woke up in the morning the first thing I thought was, “How many minutes ‘til one o’clock?” I showered and dressed and looked at the clock. I went […]

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Grief During Chronic Illness

Posted on June 4, 2024 - by Melanie Pensak

Grief During Chronic Illness I remember when I started to hear the word “chronic” from the mouths of people that were involved in my health. I recall the acupuncturist who asked how long my symptoms had been happening. She nodded knowingly at my answer, “Oh, so this is chronic.” I hear the doctor who seemed pleased with himself when diagnosing me with something that was simply repeating what I said I was experiencing, “Ah hah! Sounds like chronic fatigue.” I was surprised to hear this word reflected back to me. When I looked at my health deductions and expenses for […]

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When God Leads You to a Parent’s Deathbed

Posted on May 27, 2024 - by Anne Peterson

I got used to living a fatherless life, even before he died. When I thought about him, it was always followed by guilt, and then I would actually stutter. It was better to not think about him at all. And then one day my sister, Peggy called. “Hello Anne. You’ve got to come. It’s Dad. He’s dying of cancer.” Is she crazy? She knew what he had accused me of. He blamed me for our mother’s death. She knew all about that. And now she is telling me I need to come and see him? “No!” I shout. “I can’t.” […]

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When One Loss Follows Another

Posted on May 27, 2024 - by Anne Peterson

I’m 12 years old and our family is living in a 3rd floor apartment. The phone rings on this summer day. Mom answers. I watch the color leave her face. I hear sentence fragments. “A lone driver…he didn’t see her…the truck was backing up……a closed casket.” Hanging up the phone, Mom tells all of us to come and sit down. She said that Julie, our six-year-old cousin, had won a bicycle and she ran outside to ride it. Julie hoped everyone would see her, but the garbage man didn’t. Julie died. It was hard to see my mom cry. It […]

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Finding God’s Comfort Through Loss

Posted on May 27, 2024 - by Anne Peterson

Finding God’s Comfort Through Loss “Just go downstairs and wait for your aunt, she’ll be here soon,” my mom said. I can hardly wait. Our aunt is taking us to Kiddieland. I start going down the steps and make up a new song, using words the grown-ups were using. When you’re only 6, you don’t know what all the words mean, but you can still sing them. “Yia Yia’s dead…Yia Yia’s dead…” I see Aunt Jeanette coming up the stairs. She hears my words, rushing past me. “Wait! Aren’t we going to Kiddie…?” I call out. But she doesn’t stop […]

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A Writer’s Attempt to Outrun Grief

Posted on May 20, 2024 - by Robin Finn

A Writer’s Attempt to Outrun Grief I set my timer for twenty minutes and vow to write without stopping. I tell myself not to judge, not to edit, not to think, not to cross out, or hit delete, or re-read. Just keep my fingers dancing across the keyboard, I tell myself. Just keep moving. This is what I tell my students, and this is what I repeat in my head as I type. Just keep moving is a good strategy for writers because it keeps us from getting bogged down in our thoughts. For writers, thinking is not helpful. I think a lot of […]

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Handling Your Own End-of-Life Planning: A Thoughtful Goodbye

Posted on May 20, 2024 - by Kathleen Rehl

Handling Your Own End-of-Life Planning Each of us will eventually have to confront death. My late husband, Tom, died in my arms several years ago. Less than two months later, my 84-year-old mother passed with me at her side. While I deeply miss their physical presence, I still have their love and spirits with me today. I will always be grateful for the support of friends, family, and colleagues during that difficult time. Grieving the loss of a loved one is never easy, and many of you may have experienced similar heartache. Amidst my sorrow, I managed the estate settlement […]

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Space to Heal: Finding Meaning after Loss

Posted on May 20, 2024 - by Ilana Estelle

Coping with the death of my twin has been an incredibly challenging and personal experience. Finding meaning and purpose in the aftermath has and continues to be a deeply personal journey. My writing helps. I offer these suggestions for individuals as they navigate their own loss. Give yourself space to heal It is important to give yourself permission to grieve in your way and at your own pace. By allowing yourself the space to heal, you can gradually find meaning and purpose as you move forward on your journey of healing and self-discovery. When it comes to exploring new passions […]

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The Magic of a Child’s Grief

Posted on May 14, 2024 - by Anne Abel

Son’s Grief Opens a Door I got a belated birthday card from my mother for my 41st birthday. “To Our Wonderful Daughter,” was scripted on the front, in gold, above a bouquet of pastel flowers. Inside, on the right page, in the same Hallmark font: “Another year of the one-and-only you.”  On the left, was my mother’s black-scripted message: “Anne, I was only 22 when you were born. I didn’t want to have you, I had other things I wanted to do. But, here you are. Love, Mom”. My mother had been waging guerilla warfare on me my whole life. […]

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Finding Meaning in Violent Loss

Posted on May 13, 2024 - by Brooke Carlock

Finding Meaning in Violent Loss When I hear about “finding meaning” in grief, I feel a knee-jerk reaction to snap back with a salty, “What possible meaning can come from the violent death of a beautiful, sweet, healthy ten-year-old girl?” What I want to assure you of is this: I am in no way suggesting that the death of your loved one had a point. Had a deeper purpose. Meaning. I don’t believe that. I believe that the death of your loved one sucks. Really, really sucks. However, I ALSO believe that your world has changed and is never going […]

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